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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#61803 Anon 2014-07-11 17:57
In one lesson at school today,I heard more than 10 rape jokes,mostly by the boys.I am 13 years old.If that's what they're like aged 13,I am truly worried at what they will be like in they are older.Rape culture sickens me.Also,in the 4 years I have had sex education at school,not one lesson talked about consent...
#61802 bec 2014-07-03 02:28
Sexism has been a part of everyday life for me since adolescence. Here are just a few of my experiences:

At a party I had drunk too much and went with my female friend to a quiet place to rest. A guy walked into the room, lifted my dress and penetrated me with his fingers. I was very drunk and tried to move away but he followed. My friend was able to push him away thankfully and stop it going further. I did not report this and at the time did not think it was rape, my idea of rape was a predatory stranger forcing sex rather than a friend of a friend not obtaining full consent. I was 15, and shockingly I still feel as though I would be blamed for putting myself in that situation even though that violation was completely uncalled for.

On another occasion I was plied with alcohol until I was almost passed out and then taken into a room. I was a virgin and this was extremely upsetting, I cried throughout. I was only 13 and the guy 18, I had no idea of the danger I was in because I was with friends. No one stopped it even though I was crying loudly. I was put on the back of his mates bicycle and ridden home with blood dripping down my legs when I was sober enough.

Another occasion when walking to school an old man (around 70) tried to call me into the bushes and told me he knew my brother. He told me to come back again at 6pm but I instead told my mum. He watched me walk to and from school sporadically for a few weeks but I never saw him again after that.

When I was about 20 I was walking along a popular walking path and a man was sitting in his car masturbating, within clear view of all the joggers/walkers. I was disgusted and took his number plate but never reported it regretfully.

Around the same age my drink was spiked and I lost all recollection of the evening despite only having 2 drinks. After going to the hospital the next day I was told nothing could be done, they didn't even have a brochure or a nurse that could speak to me about what I could do. At this age I was much more aware of my rights to my own body and wanted to report this behaviour. I attempted twice to report it to the police but both times I was put through to numerous departments and hung up on.

None of this behaviour prepared me for my husband, whom I married and had a child with at 23 & 24 respectfully. Once I was perceived as his possession he proceeded to emotionally abuse me by putting me down on a daily basis, sabotaged my friendships where he could, isolated me from my family in a small town, all the while physically abusing me. It was a very confusing and difficult thing for me to understand because I had married this man, had children with him, and had loved him.

I have become a much stronger woman after these experiences in life, particularly my marriage. Despite these instances, I don't feel that all men are predatory or sexist, but the men that aren't need to stand up and advocate for a woman's right to be respected and not treated as an object of mens desires or possession. This behaviour is much more endemic than we like to admit and my story is sadly not unusual. In this shortened snippet of my life I may have painted a picture of a rebellious troubled teen but I was a normal well adjusted girl experimenting with alcohol, just like my male friends - none of whom were ever exposed to the threat of rape because of having one too many drinks. If ever they were I would never have blamed them for putting themselves in that situation. This kind of abuse can happen to anyone and is never the victims fault - women also need to understand this.
#61801 Colleen 2014-05-30 05:11
I was passed out drunk at a party last year and a boy there took advantage of me and ended up raping me. At school, everyone was making jokes about me and calling me a slut because "it was my fault i was so drunk. We need to teach men not to rape and stop blaming the victim.
#61800 Lucie 2014-05-21 18:27
I remember at school when I was perhaps 14 a boy in my year was being inappropriate to my best friend in class, she was embarrassed and getting fed up with him stroking her arms and "flirting" with her unwantingly, I offered to switch seats with her thinking he wouldn't try it with me but he did. He kept touching my arms and neck, anywhere near my chest in the classroom in view of everyone. I told him to stop it and to shut up with what he was saying. I thought it would stop after the class was over but then several instances after he would say things about my breasts. during lunch break I was alone and walked passed him and his friends. He kept saying inappropriate things to impress his friends and as I walked passed him he groped my bum and as I turned to swot him off he grabbed my breast. Him and his friends all laughed. I was very upset, being so young and never experienced being touched in that way. I found my friend and asked her to come with me to see my mum who worked at the school at the time, even though I was upset she wouldn't come with me. After lunch I was due to have swimming class and the boy was also in the same P.E class as me. I was terrified of the thought of being around him in my swimsuit incase he tried anything else. I went to my mum crying and told her what had happened, she took me to my head of house and told him how the boy had been harassing me for weeks and I was scared of being in swimming class with me, I didn't want him to see me in my swimsuit. My head of year took him out of the class and gave him detention. But I was never asked again later if the harassment had stopped.
#61799 Em 2014-05-20 21:35
I was a early developer, and was wearing my first bra by the time I was nine years old. Once I started the secondary school, it's hard to not be noticed when you're pretty much the only girl in year 7 with boobs. This was when the torments really started. Rumours spread pretty quickly that I was a slag, and a whore and every other name under the Sun. I could deal with the comments at first, because I could just ignore them, as they simply weren't true. It was in year 7, that I had my first experience of proper victimisation in the form of grossly inappropriate touching, and a threat of rape if I told anyone what these two boys in my year 7 maths class were doing to me, which was horrifying and terrifying, and just plain nasty.

After year 7 ended things seemed to die down a little bit until I was about 15 years old, and I went on my first blind date with a guy that a "friend" had hooked me up with. Throughout my teenage years I was never really that interested in guys, I always considered my education to be more important, but my friend was insistent. I went along and things seemed fine, then things started to get heavy and I really wasn't ready for it. I tried to over power him, but he was 19 at the time (which I didn't know), and he was significantly stronger than myself, and if it wasn't for a black labrador that came jumping through a hedge chasing after a ball, that guy would of raped me. It was absolutely terrifying, nothing can prepare you for how scary it is. I later found out that the only reason why this guy agreed to go on a blind date with me was because my "friend" had told him that 1) I had big boobs, and 2) about my so-called slag reputation, so he deemed me to be a "easy lay".

Again after this things died down again, and it wasn't until I was 17 that I had any kind of experience of sexism again. At this age I got my first job working at a waitress. About a year into this job, I was started to get harassed at work, mostly by the customers, slapping my bum, wolf-whistling, and making crude remarks. I was able to tell my boss at work, and he was able to get them barred.

Nowadays I don't get comments made at me, and if I do I speak out. It's not needed nor wanted, and it's not okay!!
#61798 Claire 2014-05-07 07:56
When I was at secondary school it was quite normal for the boys to grope the girls. One day, whilst walking up the stairs to my next class, one of the boys put his hand up my skirt and groped my vagina. When I told a passing teacher he said "Oh well, boys will be boys".
#61797 B 2014-03-29 19:29
I laughed uneasily when my then-boyfriend said if I got pregnant he'd push me down the stairs. I should have kicked him out then and there.
#61796 Mavyy 2014-03-29 19:28
Five or four years ago, on New Year´s Day, a man followed me and even ran after me at night: I don´t know what would have happened if a security guard hadn´t been standing next to the front door. On another ocassion, a man grabbed my ass while I was going to university: I decided to look for a police man and he believed in what I told him and felt sympathy towards me, but told me that not much could be done. And I can tell you about many many experiences that I and my friends go through every single day, perhaps not as serious as the ones described here, but equally sexist and degrading.
And if this is what happens to any young girl who is considered more or less attractive by men, another form of violence is felt by those who don´t conform to beauty patterns. If that is the case, you literally become invisible (if you´re lucky), or you even receive insults if you´re not as attractive as you should be. A degree, a good heart, none of that matters if you´re not young, thin and you don´t have big breasts. This is the depressing truth, and we need to change this.
#61795 JH 2014-03-29 19:15
Went to the corner shop. Passed a parked car with a twentysomething man at the wheel. He knocked on the window as I passed; I ignored him. Coming back I saw him wind his window down and my heart sank, knoeing that at the very least he was going to say something. He called out that I had a nice shape and then started the car and drove off. Thanks so much, anonymous stranger, for only catcalling and not trying to drag me into your car or something! And for telling me I have a nice shape! I thrive on the approval of strang men after all! :/
#61794 Becca 2014-03-29 18:59
I ordered a pizza. Delivery man calls me on my mobile to get directions. Next week I order again. After he delivers it I receive a text message from him saying that Ia woman should not eat on her own and did I want some company. He clearly never even considered that my boyfriend who I live with is too damn lazy to get up and answer the door himself! The thing is though, when I told my partner he was more offended that they guy thought I was on my own. Not the fact that he said a woman should not eat on her own! shocking.
#61793 H 2014-03-29 18:56
I was 7 and on holiday with my family. There was a puppy at the hotel we were staying at that I was obsessed with so one day, I left our hotel room and went down to spend some time with him. On my way back up in the lift, a young male member of the hotel staff lifted my skirt and repeatedly fondled my bum - squeezing the cheeks so hard that it hurt. He was looking straight ahead as he did it and I was rendered mute, in complete shock with why he was touching me. But even at that small age, a girl knows which touch feels wrong so I got out of the lift at the next floor and ran up the stairs to our floor. I've never told anyone this before.
#61792 D 2014-03-29 18:55
I work in a traditionally male-dominated field, and my particular workplace has had a dramatic shift towards gender balance over the last five years. There's been no conscious attempt to make it this way -- we've simply had a large volume of exceedingly well-qualified female applicants, which simply wasn't the case in the past.

A few weeks ago, I overheard one of my coworkers remarking to a colleague from another site that continues to be male-dominated, "It's okay when there are only one or two women. But once you get too many..."

I'm not entirely sure what he thinks the problem is with "too many" women. The women and men in this workplace contribute identically to the program. Those who have taken leaves of absence have been both men and women, for reasons both academic and parental. And the only weak staff, both those who have transferred to other jobs and those who remain on, have thus far only been male.

So, I'm sorry about your workplace, sir. I'm sorry that the strong, intelligent, capable, responsible, innovative, hardworking, fun-loving co-workers you have to deal with happen to be both male and female.
#61791 Martha 2014-03-29 18:48
At least once a month from the age of 11, walking home from school, in uniform, I would have men slowing their cars and asking me "how much?" As a shy girl, I would find myself apologising to them for not being a prostitute.

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