When my male friend was standing up for a girl that was being wolf whistled, he was applauded by his peers. When I expressed my belief of why it was wrong why it should never happen I got told to “calm down” and was asked what type of lesbian I was.
The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.
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A kitchen fitter was at my house the other day and noticed the fairly major garden landscaping works outside. We discussed for a while what my husband and I were doing out there. “He’s doing it all himself is he?” the builder asked despite me referring to “we” and “us” throughout the whole conversation. My husband and I have done just as much heavy digging as eachother. So annoying that the builder just assumed I wasn’t involved. Minor and everyday sexism.
(Sorry bad English) Warning, mentioning rape.
This has bothered me for years. We were about 20 years old and a guy told this story at a party. He and some pals were on a cruise and found two willing women they took (is this a word?) to their room. The guy telling the story had sex and fell asleep. His friend apperently could not get it up. So the story went: Suddenly I woke up and this other girl is riding me…
The guy looked a little bit unsure when he said that and a little bit like he should be proud…
He got a lot of “woohoo” and pats on the back. I was very uneasy and said nothing. (Therefore the regretts)
Ten years later and I’m still thinking about this guy being raped in his drunken sleep. I wish I had not been so shy. Why diden’t I speak up? Maybe it would have made a difference to this guy if someone acknowledged how wrong this was?
I guess many guys (women too) prefere to think of them selfs as studs and not weak and being abused. But GOD DAMN IT WAS RAPE! and nobody really cared cause the victim wasen’t what you expected. And sure… when you started reading… diden’t you think something was going to happen to the women? We are all guilty of sexism and I love this site for existing.
yesterday I was driving and waiting to turn right into car park , with a car blocking the entrance to car park. so i waited.2 or three cars behind me. i waited patiently to turn into the car park whilst my girls went to buy some sandwiches etc for lunch. i told them i would wait in car park. so i waited in line to turn in. car three behind me (open top, single male driver) over took the line (which was fine) bu then pulled along side me and said “are you fucking stupid you fucking stupid bitch? What the fuck do you think you are doing? You stupid fucing bitch’ I knew i had done nothing wrong so smiled back and said i am just queuing . ” you stupid fucking bitch don’t you know how to drive?’.
Blessing: my daughters were not there; and an older female driver came up to me once i was in the carpark to say: ‘wasn’t he a completely awful man? At least he is going to have an awful day because he is so stressed and we are laughing about him !’ 🙂
Three years ago, two outbuildings on our farm burnt down in the early hours of the morning. I was the first to wake up, and the first one outside to try to save any of the animals and items inside the buildings. Because my husband has a disability, he stayed inside to call 911.
The animals burned first, so I only managed to get a car out of one building. But that was about it. It was extremely devastating, and I still wake up in the night thinking things are burning.
Later, the insurance investigators came out to try to figure out the cause of the fire. Even though I had been the one out the door first, the only one to get close enough to the fire to actually try to save anything, and the primary witness of the origin and spread of the fire, they kept asking when my husband would get home so that they could ask him about how things Really happened.
Working on an IT project at my new client, I was in a 4-person meeting working through some design issues in having AX2012 control the creation of activities in Salesforce against documentation that was being scrubbed in a 3rd system.
One of the guys in the group literally pretended I wasn’t there. Every single sentence, every question, every suggestion I made (and when it comes to design discussions, I do not hesitate to voice my opinions and ideas) was completely ignored, as though it had never happened. It was awkward enough for the other guys to notice and give funny looks, though neither of them did anything. They would, occasionally, if they agreed with me, repeat what I had just said (literally), so that the AX expert would “hear” it. After 4 of these meetings, this expert realized I actually DID know what I was talking about, and would at least hear what I said in in person meetings.
However, with every question and every issue I raised for the next 1.5 YEARS on the project he would follow this pattern:
1. Ignore me.
2. Dismiss the issue out of hand as “not an issue”
I would then take the time 30-60 minutes to “prove” it was an issue
3. Acknowledge it was happening, but dismiss its importance
I would then take the time 3-5 hours usually, to “prove” it was a major issue with data to back me up.
4. Acknowledge it was an issue and important, and finally fix it. In less than 10 minutes.
He truly knew his stuff in AX, and everything BUT AX were my areas of expertise. But seriously? EVERY ISSUE he wasted up to 6 hours of my time in making me prove it. And I was wrong about it being a major issue perhaps 1 in 50 issues?
He did not act this way with any of the men on the project. Even brand new people who didn’t know what was going on.
Eventually the client hired a new person to handle the integration (which I was most heavily involved in) on the AX side. HOLY MACKEREL. He was willing to listen to me, meet with me and work with me! We made more progress together in 2.5 weeks than in the full year with this other guy.
I play football and wanted to buy new football boots. I went into my local Sports Direct and was shocked when I began looking at the selection of football boots and the labels that stated ‘adidas men’s football boot’. Why men’s? I wondered if these were men’s, where was the women’s section of football boots? Oh wait there wasn’t one. This is 2017, and still labels say ‘men’s football boots’. Women’s football is a thing despite whether people like it or not. It should be accepted and also how off putting to young girls that would go into that shop with their parents to find boots. It could put them off or make them feel awkward. I was shocked to say the least.
in the last 24 hours I have had three things happen,
one I was walking to the train station reading my book and this guy fells entitled enough to yell “FUCK, your beautiful” at me, this is not a compliment and it scares me so I put down the book and walk faster.
Second I sit down on the bus and the group of guys behind me starts talking about how vaginas are gross and how they would never do oral and how “:you just need to shove fingers up there” so I move to the front of the bus so I don’t have to here this but their loud enough for me to here at the other end of the bus.
Third I’m on my long board just enjoying being outside and this guy drives by and yells “Fat Ass” at me. not that it matters but I’m 145 pounds that’s not “fat”
that was just one day.one freaking day
I’ve been catcalled to on the street during the day and at night, touched inappropriately at parties and on dates, called ‘vanilla’ because I’m sexually inexperienced and been told that I’m abnormal because I have prestigious career goals.
I’m expected to keep it to myself and allow these things to happen. But it hurts when you’re viewed as a thing and not a person, placed in a box with a gender stereotype and given value based on your physicality rather than personality.
I got off the bus and it was is less minute walk home. I was in jeans, baggy sweatshirt and with a beanie. I crossed the street and I noticed a car slowing down, looking over there is two guys in their car pursing their lips and sending “air kisses” at me. I walked away because it was so out of the blue and I didn’t know what to do.