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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#65806 Anon 2014-07-11 17:57
In one lesson at school today,I heard more than 10 rape jokes,mostly by the boys.I am 13 years old.If that's what they're like aged 13,I am truly worried at what they will be like in they are older.Rape culture sickens me.Also,in the 4 years I have had sex education at school,not one lesson talked about consent...
 
 
#65805 bec 2014-07-03 02:28
Sexism has been a part of everyday life for me since adolescence. Here are just a few of my experiences:

At a party I had drunk too much and went with my female friend to a quiet place to rest. A guy walked into the room, lifted my dress and penetrated me with his fingers. I was very drunk and tried to move away but he followed. My friend was able to push him away thankfully and stop it going further. I did not report this and at the time did not think it was rape, my idea of rape was a predatory stranger forcing sex rather than a friend of a friend not obtaining full consent. I was 15, and shockingly I still feel as though I would be blamed for putting myself in that situation even though that violation was completely uncalled for.

On another occasion I was plied with alcohol until I was almost passed out and then taken into a room. I was a virgin and this was extremely upsetting, I cried throughout. I was only 13 and the guy 18, I had no idea of the danger I was in because I was with friends. No one stopped it even though I was crying loudly. I was put on the back of his mates bicycle and ridden home with blood dripping down my legs when I was sober enough.

Another occasion when walking to school an old man (around 70) tried to call me into the bushes and told me he knew my brother. He told me to come back again at 6pm but I instead told my mum. He watched me walk to and from school sporadically for a few weeks but I never saw him again after that.

When I was about 20 I was walking along a popular walking path and a man was sitting in his car masturbating, within clear view of all the joggers/walkers. I was disgusted and took his number plate but never reported it regretfully.

Around the same age my drink was spiked and I lost all recollection of the evening despite only having 2 drinks. After going to the hospital the next day I was told nothing could be done, they didn't even have a brochure or a nurse that could speak to me about what I could do. At this age I was much more aware of my rights to my own body and wanted to report this behaviour. I attempted twice to report it to the police but both times I was put through to numerous departments and hung up on.

None of this behaviour prepared me for my husband, whom I married and had a child with at 23 & 24 respectfully. Once I was perceived as his possession he proceeded to emotionally abuse me by putting me down on a daily basis, sabotaged my friendships where he could, isolated me from my family in a small town, all the while physically abusing me. It was a very confusing and difficult thing for me to understand because I had married this man, had children with him, and had loved him.

I have become a much stronger woman after these experiences in life, particularly my marriage. Despite these instances, I don't feel that all men are predatory or sexist, but the men that aren't need to stand up and advocate for a woman's right to be respected and not treated as an object of mens desires or possession. This behaviour is much more endemic than we like to admit and my story is sadly not unusual. In this shortened snippet of my life I may have painted a picture of a rebellious troubled teen but I was a normal well adjusted girl experimenting with alcohol, just like my male friends - none of whom were ever exposed to the threat of rape because of having one too many drinks. If ever they were I would never have blamed them for putting themselves in that situation. This kind of abuse can happen to anyone and is never the victims fault - women also need to understand this.
 
 
#65804 Colleen 2014-05-30 05:11
I was passed out drunk at a party last year and a boy there took advantage of me and ended up raping me. At school, everyone was making jokes about me and calling me a slut because "it was my fault i was so drunk. We need to teach men not to rape and stop blaming the victim.
 
 
#65803 L 2014-05-28 16:40
I work in a comprehensive secondary school. A 17 year old boy in a colleague's classroom said of a cartoon of Tess D'Urbervilles "I wouldn't mind raping her". When I suggested to my boss that we should ring home and take such comments seriously, he didn't, suggesting the colleague and I were over-reacting. Instead he had a "quiet word" with the boy explaining why "that kind of comment" might be "OK in the sixth form common room" but not in a classroom. How is a comment like that ever OK, anywhere?
 
 
#65802 Eli 2014-05-28 16:13
Today I went to see my boyfriends mother. We had an argument about when I would be producing her a grandchild. When I said I was at university and wanted to get a good education and get a job. She stated that it's a waste of time, money, and effort. She says that you don't need any education and that I was selfish for thinking of myself all the time. I'm 19 I have my while life ahead of me. She now does not consider me to be a part of her family as I don't fit into he view of what females should be doing.
 
 
#65801 Anonymous Algerian 2014-05-28 16:10
When I was thirteen, my seventeen years old cousin raped me, but I didn't tell anyone so that there would be no family problems. I regretted, because 6 months later he has been sent to jail for raping a fifteen years old girl, thought he stood in prison for only 2 months.
 
 
#65800 Julie 2014-05-28 16:02
I used to rent a room in a family appartment in Ijburg a quarter of Amsterdam when the father, my landlord, started to knock on my room's door when nobody was there to "read my future in the palm of my hand" or telling me that I am pretty and that he likes Blond girls (his wife was dark hair... ) He also asked my other roomate if she was a lesbian because she was so pretty she couldn't be single... We always refused to play his game and after two weeks he got crazy about me and kicked me out pretending it was because I was not doing my dishes... And this men is married with a kid and I was living in their home. I should have guessed something was wrong as he only rent his rooms to girls.
 
 
#65799 Ab 2014-05-28 14:28
Everyone of my workmates are lovely. However, here are a few things that some of the male staff like to say to me and the other girls:
"what do you prefer? Big heart or big willy?"
"When are we going on a date?" (Baring in mind my boyfriend also worked there for a while)
And when I respond with a pitiful look or comment it's "I think a threesome then" or "you would love a bit of both of us"
I also get asked "How many times do you guys have sex in a week?" "go on just tell me" "HOW MANY??"
The list goes on.

'Lad Culture' is no secret these days, I just think it is very sad that it has become so widely accepted that even 'nice' guys like to partake. But also that many young girls are growing to just accept that because they are a girl, they have to put up with it.
 
 
#65798 E 2014-05-28 13:32
My Mathematics teacher has repeatedly told his students that "maths is not for girls." or "maths is a boys job." This man works in the highest achieving non-selective school in the city, who's results match exactly to the results of the number one school in the city; a grammar school. This grammar school is mixed, and the school I attend is an all girl's school. He perpetually discredits and discourages girls to pursue mathematics as a further educational option or career, but it is us young women who gain the highest results, especially in maths and sciences, of the entire city (one of the largest, densely populated cities in the country.)
 
 
#65797 Victoria 2014-05-28 13:28
I'm currently on sabbatical in Hong Kong returned home to East London for the weekend last wee. The cat calls began immediately. At first I thought I was hearing things then the memory came back of how I have to walk and act in London to minimise it . I've forgotten I can't walk anywhere normally. This has never happened once in Hong Kong and it makes me want to keep my daughter here.
 
 
#65796 Sara 2014-05-28 13:25
I worked at a large hospital system in the US. In my first job there, my male boss told me he wanted me at the meeting because "it's always good to have a skirt at the meeting." When I left that position to take a new position at the hospital, the same man congratulated me on my promotion, adding, "It's not every day that a woman gets such a nice promotion." In my new position, I rose quickly and became a director, in charge of $250M a year and over 100 employees. My new boss, a Vice President of the hospital, and I were on a business when he asked if he could kiss me, telling me it would be the most passionate kiss I had ever expreienced. I rejected his advance. Later that year, he humiliated me in front of clients and coworkers by yelling out loud that he "was done with me" because I hadn't made sure he was seated at the right chair during our business ess dinner. Wen I comp,aimed to human resources and recounted all the injustices I had suffered at his hands, I ended up being fired and my male boss still retains his position. I was told that my co-workers could no longer trust me because of my "allegations". It has been 3 years, and I still don't have a job.
 
 
#65795 Jemima 2014-05-28 11:38
I'm 17, walking home from my boyfriend's house. A man in a car, around 30, pulls up beside me and asks if I want to go for a drink. I shake my head and keep walking, and as he drives past he gives me a dirty look and keeps staring until he's out of sight. I was furious for wearing a short summer dress at the time, I remember wondering if he thought I was an escort or something. I haven't worn that dress since.
 
 
#65794 HB 2014-05-28 10:31
just got told by what i thought was an intelligent male friend that "guys don't CHOOSE to rape, they can't help themselves, it's in their DNA, this whole male bashing business really needs to stop, we don't send you girls to prison because you bleed all over the place once a month, so why are guys punished for their biology need"
... yeah now i feel really safe about you walking me home... i hope your biological need does not overcome you so you don't have to rape me on the way!
thanks for that! no so sure if i want to stay friends... i think not!
 
 
#65793 Karen 2014-05-28 10:21
At work, answering a question from a colleague who works in a related but separate department. Then, the same person later asking my older male colleague, who does the same job as me, the same question, implying that my answer needs to be verified by a man.
 

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