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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#76800 Anonymous 25 yr old 2015-09-06 15:40
When I was 19 I worked in a nightclub. I became so used to men grabbing me, saying crude things to me, and making kissing sounds etc. that I developed a way of blocking it out so I almost wasn't aware anymore. I would walk around and stare straight ahead, mastering the ability not to make too much eye contact with any men and to totally ignore all the comments. As a result I often was told by my friends that they'd saw me and tried to say hi but that I had ignored them!! It seems I just developed an ability to block everything out so as to deter any unwanted attention.

Growing up I have experienced hundreds and hundreds of little instances of sexism almost daily. The worst kind is in friendships groups when you feel that if you call boys up on it, you are the one who lacks a sense of humor.

One thing that is bothering me at the moment is that I work in a mainly female office, but there is one male. I am 25 and he is 31. The rest of our office are older females in their 40's, 50's and 60's. The male is very popular and sociable and everybody dotes on him. When nobody is around though he will make innapropriate comments to me about how I look, and when we go out for work drinks he gets even worse and has tried to get me to go back to a hotel room with him. What makes me the most angry is that he lives with his girlfriend. I feel it shows a complete lack of respect that he would expect me to be 'flattered' with this attention he's giving me.
I don't feel I can tell anybody at work because for some reason I feel that I would be seen to be the difficult person, and that it would be me, not him, who was purposefully creating an uncomfortable situation. I would feel guilty, and mean for embarrassing him and not covering for him.
#76799 Loes 2015-09-06 10:11
Met with an old friend. I realised: this guy is actually pretty sexist and racist. How did I not see this before? We even used to date for a while!

He started our conversation by saying that in Sweden they now have bandages in 6 different skin colours. He was appalled by this, disgusted, and he seemed personally offended.

Then he went on to say that in Sweden they also raise their kids gender neutral and how horrible that was. His friend that joined us luckily then said that he used to play with Barbie dolls as a kid, and I added that I played with Lego and cars. He seemed to be taken aback that we didn't agree with him and finished the conversation by saying "Anyway, I think we really shouldn't encourage boys to play with dolls." I was so shocked. It just seemed.. homophobic, right?

Later in the evening it got worse. Talking about his 14-year-old stepson he said things like "he's just a loser" and "he's not interested in girls and sex at all" and how that was a problem because he himself was having sex at age 14. And he said that he would provoke the boy, talking about girls and pubes and the kid would get really angry. The other friend even said 'you should go through his internet history to see what kind of porn he's watching.' Wow wait what, privacy!?!
I said 'Maybe you should let him go through his sexual development at his own pace' but no use. I was so shocked that my friend is judging this kid that isn't even his kid, based on how macho he is or is not. And I'm scared that he is having a bad influence on this kid.

And I'm realising that I have lost so many friends... Everybody sees me as an insanely radical feminist, but I think their ideas are also pretty radical. Like all the things I just wrote, why am I the only one shocked??

Ever since I realised how sexist our society actually is, I just couldn't deal with people slut shaming anymore for example. But even my own smart and open-minded and sweet friends do it and I can't stand to be around them anymore and I'm losing faith in humanity and I feel more and more alone.

And it should probably make me more angry and more loud and outspoken but it just.. crushes me.
#76798 Jessica 2015-09-06 03:30
A few months ago my husband's workplace (in a liberal, northeast state) had an event at a bowling alley, a fundraiser in a series of playful competitions with a rival company. To form bowling teams in anticipation of this event, my husband's general manager sent out an email to the entire company stating that each bowling team would need "one very skilled player , at least 2 above average players, and a female."

You know, because "females" can't be "skilled" or "above average" at bowling, obvs.
#76797 Michaela 2015-09-05 21:35
As a woman I feel extremely confused about my place in society. I am fed up with bearing with comments about women from men, about men analysing each inch of a woman's body. But at the same time I wanna be that woman men talk about, because that means so much in this society, if you look good you get more, you are more respected and more listened to, by both men and women. I live in a constant contradiction, where I try to deal with my radical feminist side and with the self-objectifying me who wants the perfect image. This is affecting me in a deep and profound way, both personally and in my relationships. I think the importance of image in this society is becoming an obsession I am not able to handle anymore.

And why men behave they way they do, have they always behaved this way and maybe is only now that women are starting to speak out? does men behaviour justify because of their sexual drive, because they are made to fertilise more than one female and thus have a stronger sexual drive, and therefore physical appearance is an important factor? No one day goes by that I don't feel sad about not looking good enough, about not having the so desired features that would make men admire me and make me feel powerful. But then I consider myself a feminist. I would like to know if more women feel like I do, because right now I feel completely lost as a woman in this society.
#76796 Tilly 2015-09-05 18:05
My name is tilly and I live in east london,me and my friends decided to throw an alcohol party having some drugs and weed with the boys and have a night over doing a bit of kissing and all that.SO it was the night we were in the party and the boy said would you give me heads so i said okay and i did because i was high and nervous same time then he put his finger in my ass this was ages ago and i told my friends(female) because i thought i could trust them now i dont talk to those friends because they are all fake to me they everyone how slutty i am what i did was wrong !
It doesnt always have to boys but there are girls and women who goes against you.
#76795 M 2015-09-05 18:04
I was at a party last week, and this guy was being really sexual towards me and wouldn't leave me alone. I was polite at first, and then bluntly told him I wasn't interested in him. However, it wasn't until I told him I had a boyfriend that he actually left me be. It's a lie I've used before and to date it has always worked as a last resort, but what does that say about our society that these men respect my alleged boyfriend over me?
#76794 Anonymous 2015-09-05 17:59
I was on the bus going home from town today, and a group of boys who go to my school - they are about 17 - were sitting opposite me. A girl I know got on the bus and sat down at the front. They boys opposite me were at the back. They began talking about how women are "boring" and "useless" if they don't have large breasts or butts (in a much more explicit way). Then they began shouting at the girl who got on the bus, saying "you've got no tits," "flat chested dog," and then kept shouting her name and saying she was "fit."
Nobody on the bus bothered to say anything - even now, I feel like sh*t for not saying anything. I was too scared they would harass me too.
Everyone is just used to this kind of thing, because this is just "how it is." Sexism is making me depressed. What makes me even more depressed is the fact that people deny it exists at all. Western women are just "whiny privileged bitches" to so many people. It hurts so bad seeing how certain groups of people are oppressed and treated like they aren't human.
This needs to f*cking stop. It's sick.
#76793 Leela 2015-09-05 16:52
Just noticed my local doctors surgery has lovely list of all the doctors with photo. Theres about 14 in total. However all the male doctors come first, followed by the females. All work only a couple of days a week.

Little shocked I showed my husband, who could not see what was wrong. He looked for a good two three minutes and had no idea...
#76792 sarah 2015-09-05 14:29
I am continually made to feel uncomfortable by a work colleague. He insists each time he sees me to hug me. If I am standing up he will hug me and put his arms around me. If I am sitting down he will come up behind me and hug me around my neck putting his head on my shoulder with his face very close
I react with a brief smile and just tap his arm just wishing him to get off me.he doesn't do this to any other female workers and doesn't do it when others are around. I don't like it and would like to tell him to stop but he has a sort of superiority due to his job role and could potentially make things very difficult for me.
#76791 Sue 2015-09-05 14:23
Yesterday in the queue at the pharmacy counter in Boots a young man in front of me was telling his friend that he didn't want to have kids until he was in a position to give them a good life, so if his girlfriend got herself pregant he would kick her in the stomach and beat her until she lost it, because that's the Caribbean way.
#76790 sarah 2015-09-05 14:20
My 16 year old daughter was walking through our local town on her way home last night, not late it (it was 10.30pm). She was approached by two men one of which set about trying to hold her hand, put his arm around her and kept asking for a kiss. She tried moving away from him and crossed to the opposite side of the road and back again when he continued to follow her. He eventually left but she came home frightened and distraught. Only a few months ago she was walking through our same town when a car full of boys began to follow her asking her to get in the car and have Fuck. The police were called at the time who advised my daughter to take a photo if it happened again. Yes of course because it's that easy to think straight and get your phone out when you're frightened and intimidated.
#76789 caitie 2015-09-05 12:03
there is a gay kid at my school and he thinks because he is gay it is alright to smack girls' butts and has done so to me and others on several occasions. I didn't feel comfortable when he did it to me, but when I voiced this to my friends they thought I was being too sensitive.

No matter which sex/es you are attracted to, it is not okay to touch someone in a sexual way without their EXPLICIT PERMISSION.
#76788 emily applepepper 2015-09-05 11:41
At work,i'm the only woman in an all male team.
Sometimes the sexism i experience is horrendous,
and at times i feel that they dont even treat me
like a human being (when they are in a group and ignore me,
wont meet my eye, etc).believe me, its off the scale bad.
But i deal with it because I really love every other aspect
of my job.
This morning i finally plucked up the courage to
tell my boss....
He told me that "I just needed to 'man up' a bit.
I thought i'd share that...
#76787 Karla Knust 2015-09-05 10:25
I am a teacher and some collegues speak in an inappropiate and sexist way in the teachers restroom abourt their girl students and whose way to dress . I complain two times and requestv them to stop it, but they continued and loughed about me. The last sentence before I left - very outraged - was: "Well, if they dress themselves like hookers, they don`t need to be surpreised, if..." he didn`t complete the sentence, because I didn`t let him.
This was 7 weeks before, we had holidays - and I plan to confront him, and to start a campaign agaist sexism and rassism in shool- but honestl? I am ennerved, that "they" talk like that and now I have the stress and the work.. And I am a little bit afraid too, that it comes out, I am alone with my opinion and I could loose my work happiness...
#76786 trainer1 2015-09-05 10:07
Bit of youtube music video..... I'm just watching Womack and Womack Footsteps on the Dance Floor. Fabulous record, romantic, sad, super cool etc... but what's so wonderful about it is the whole group playing are male and female, black and white, young and old together. The lead singer Linda? Womack is so good-looking, elegant and stylish, the backing singers look professional and the (OK, mostly male) instrumentalists, mixers are really getting into it and smiling. A total professional outfit..
SO what's this to do with Everyday Sexism? Errrrr. no twerking, no hot pants, no barely pubescent teenagers acting out like sex workers... no thug-style man with a skinny female singer in a spray-on dress singing about how s**t she is without him. Errr and this video is almost thirty years old. What the hell happened in the meantime!?
#76785 yara 2015-09-05 09:32
I usually put on headphones when i walk in the street or in a bus to avoid hearing the catcalls so once i was walking down the street and the music stopped so i started hearing two old men talking to me and saying things they wanna do to me and they were raising their voices so i could hear them even with the headphones and people kept walking like its a normal thing

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