Elysia

I went over seas for a dance competition and stayed at a recently acquired friends place. I thought he was safe and a genuine person so as he opened up his house for me during the week in between two competitions on the weekend. As the week progressed I opened up to him more and more about my life (parents had just divorced) and also being a Christian we had many conversations about sex before marriage and I expressed always very clearly how I didn’t want to loose my virginity before marriage.

It became a thing that at night time we drank and then hooked up in my bedroom then he would go to sleep and we communicated that it would be just during the week we would allow this to happen and it wouldn’t again. He had also tried three times to have sex and I told him no. On the last night we we did the same and I woke up the next morning not remembering anything but walking into a black room and felt I had been invaded. I then asked him if we did it and he said yes.

I came home and feeling shattered took counselling and just told a few people who were close and about a month later went into a relationship where we had sex all the time. My mum found out about having sex with my boyfriend and not about the rape and kicked me out of home so I now live with my dad.

Guys are still unsafe to me but I now have the confidence to share my story more and hopefully inspire more women to stand up for theirselves from even a day to day basis walking in the street or when on dates or at work. anywhere. I learnt this first hand and it probably took this situation to realise life can be unsafe, you have to think for yourself and always respect yourself, but overall un-consented sex isn’t okay no matter the state.