Author Archives: everydaysexism

bella

This is some stuff that has happened to me and other girls at my school starting at age 11 or12, and I’m 13 now. There are girls in my year who are slut shamed because of having sex but the boys do initiate the relationship you know. I’ve had lots of boys ask me for nudes and other girls will gladly send them but I haven’t because I’m not trying to have the school see my tits , and a lot of boys leak nudes and stuff and one boy blackmailed a girl and threatened to leak them if she didn’t send him more nudes. They also get fake pictures and say it’s you if they can’t find real nudes of the girl. They hack girls Snapchats to find pictures of them. At a party a boy got a girl drunk , she was already drinking but when she had a Fanta, he put more vodka in it. He then fingered her even though she was saying no. In general, the boys will make sexist jokes and don’t respect the girls, but a lot of the girls don’t care. It’s hard because I’m friends with these girls but don’t feel comfortable telling them that they can’t let the boys do these things. I have had a go at the boys a lot and have to make sure I don’t do anything that will get me in trouble, but it’s hard because I know they’re just going to get worse and god knows what they’ll be doing by the timetheyre 16. I’m always sexualised because of my boobs and am known for them being big which pisses me off. If I were a top that shows them at all I get called a slut, but the girls that are flat chested will wear tops that give them nip slips every five seconds and no one says a word. I hate to admit it but now when I go out I feel a bit scared walking past most men, from my age to really old. I always see them looking my up and down and I want to punch them because I’m nowhere near legal, even though I look older than my age. I’m worried to grow up Becuase I doubt men will have any boundaries with a grown woman if this is how they act to a 13 year old. When I’m out, men will shout stuff from their cars at me and I had a proper old man telling me how good I looked once. People shout that I have massive tits and someone gave me money and asked for a kiss. I can deal with it quite well because I’ll gladly say something back but often I get to angry and am kind of in shock. I don’t think it’s fair girls my age should go through this and I’m worried for my 8 year old sister to get to my age. People act like if you’re a feminist you hate men so I can’t speak out about it much at school but I always defend women’s rights when it’s brought up. This stuff might not seem like much and I’m sure people go through much worse but i wanted to share. With the stuff at school my mums friend is a psychiatrist so she can speak to the school without mentioning names because I don’t want full on investigations, so hopefully things will get better there

Jean

When I was young in the 1970’s, a flat I had bought on leasehold developed a damp patch on the wall. I contacted the building management who sent out a man to have a look. After looking at the damp he came over to me, pinched my cheek and told me with a leer that a pretty young thing like me should have much more exciting things to worry my head about. I was furious and told him to get out which he did. Looking back I can see I frightened him. He was worried I would report the incident to his boss and cause trouble. The thought never crossed my mind. Such behaviour was commonplace. It hadn’t been that long ago that single women weren’t given mortgages and I when I bought my flat only one building society loaned on a flat to a single woman. Things have improved but sometimes I think not by much.

Ange

Reading Everyday Sexism book and realised I had been sexually assalted at fifteen by the adult son of the family I was boarding with for school. At the time I rationalised it away as I also did when my soposed friend decided to sexually assalt me. This book has helped me realise just how messed up some of my past relationships have been

Naoko

I work in a family-run campsite restaurant by the sea. The atmosphere is mostly relaxed, fun and neutral, with families enjoying their summer holidays together in a calm and respectful manner. But every so often we get a bad apple. There has been a group of families in the campsite for over a week. The women are kept, the men are lager louts, and the kids are rude and demanding. The men especially have been the worst. They choose to interact with me in a constant stream of sexual innuendo, often mentioning my appearance and sitting at the bar for hours on end staring at me and my collegues. They seem incapable of having a level, respestful conversation with any woman. Last night two of the men came to the bar, drunk, with their chidlren in tow. It was busy so there were lots of people around the bar, children, couples.. The men sat down and started talking to me about my hair, my eyes, trying to chat me up in front of my collegues and the other customers. It was so irrritating. Then, as my back was turned to do some till work, one of the men said to me (out of my earshot but audible to everyone else) “I’m going to f***k you.” My collegue told me about it 5 minutes later, just after they’d left, and I was so disgusted, so angry, so embarassed, that he could have said such a thing. I felt dirty. It was so degrading. The fact that he said it in front of his own children too makes it so much worse. And I felt threatened. What was this man actually capable of? I finish work every night in the early hours and I cycle home alone.. I was subject to verbal sexual abuse and bullying when I was a teenager and this has just made all the old feelings of shame and indignity come back. Verbal sexual abuse, or sexual remarks, should never be tolerated or brushed off as “banter”, never, never, never. This is the way we live in our society. How is that fair?

Anon

I was in a big corporate in my mid twenties working on an IT project I had a meeting with an IT college in a small glass fronted room. We were seated side by side to view a document on a laptop when he out of nowhere put his hand on my thigh and moved it up very high. No one could see due to where he’d chosen to sit. I was trapped inside him in the corner of the room. I flinched away instantly finished the meeting more or less instantly and got out. It really destroyed my trust in men for years it damaged my confidence as I felt stupid and thought I should have seen it coming but it was out for the blue. To this day I always pick where I sit in room carefully so as to have an unobstructed exit.

Sara

Yesterday one of my closest male friends and I were reading a feminist magazine and he actually started explaining the concepts to me. I knew the concepts, and though I might not be as well read as he on feminist literature and philosophy, I acutely experience these things every day. I just really took issue with it. Later, this same friend made an offhand comment about how unfortunate it is that ugly women never get taken seriously in society (after explaining how he made out with a very problematic person because she was hot). I’m not the best looking woman, and I have dealt with that, so it stung. I’ve felt bad since.

Katie

A few examples from a 17 year old girl: “Only a teenage girl would do something like that, your brother wouldn’t be that stupid,” “Your brother can stay out later because he can actually protect himself” “Men are more capable than woman in some jobs, that’s why women get paid less, not because of sexism” …. “You stupid bitch” “I’m not a feminist because the definition of feminism is equality for women to men, but women are already considering equal to men” Me : Yes legally, but what about everyday occurances like streetcalling, double standards, people assuming that if a woman’s mad she must be on her period? “Men get catcalled too…” Girls P.E uniform either had the option of tracksuit bottoms or a skort, we weren’t allowed to wear shorts. Most of us didn’t feel comfortable in skorts and had to wear tracksuit bottoms in the summer and became overheated

Wendy

I am an attorney and was working with a male colleague (P) in a different firm (same side of the case). The court appointed an attorney-ad-litem who was a male attorney. The ad litem would speak normally to P but to me, when I questioned the ad litem on several points of fact he overlooked, would make comments like, “Perhaps you didn’t learn this in your first year contracts class,” and the never out of date favorite, “Let me explain this to you, or maybe P can help you with that.” I would frequently have to say to him that he didn’t need to speak to me the way he did. P would often be the point of contact because while P didn’t like the way I was treated, P felt he had to play the ad litem’s Man Game. The case was settled in mediation, and on the way out the ad litem gave P a hand shake and when I stuck out my hand for a shake he moved in to hug me. He should have just patted me on the head, it would have been the same thing.