Author Archives: everydaysexism

Anon

Went to buy central heating system for my parents, I’m paying, but I’m accompanied by my bf. The man behind the desk keeps talking to my boyfriend, i ask questions, he replies to my bf. My bf says : you should talk to her , she’s paying. He keeps talking to him. I say, fine, I look at my bf, I can see he’s had enough too, we get up and leave. Didn’t buy from him although cheaper than other places for this reason alone. Fuck him! At the end of the day, i work hard for my money, you do not get to belittle me for being a woman!

A

Walking to meet my friend before school just walking past the houses I see everyday when theirs a moving van and some men stood waiting around just talking. I thought nothing of it and carried on until I hear a wolf whistle. Hoping their joking with each other I turned around to see them all looking straight at me and my heart dropped. I frowned and left. I felt like just a piece of meat. I felt horrible.

Unbelieveable

Can’t believe I got prude shamed after mentioning to a male friend (now ex friend) that I hadn’t had more than one sexual partner. He told half the village and they all took the piss, endlessly discussing my body and how pathetic I am, apparently. These are men in their 40s and 50s gossiping and giggling and being nasty. I thought since we were the same age he would share my more traditional views of being in a committed relationship – turns out he’s a massive slut and is sneering and disappointed I’m not. Sorry he’s a male – so that’s player, not slut. Despite being married since he was 18. Which is why I assumed he was in the same situation. I’m forty and I’m still treated like a teen ? My fucking body. Can’t believe I was dumb enough to trust him with that info but I’d known him for years and didn’t see it as a problem. I still don’t. To them I’m just a pathetic goody goody. Couldn’t be my own decision or anything. How is it not ok to only sleep with someone you are committed to? That’s the culture I come from and I’m happy with that. I also prefer it in men. The fewer the partners the better, I find promiscuity a turn off, though I don’t judge others I’m wary of mixing it up too much. I know full well whatever I said would have got the gossip, I realise that now. You just can’t confide in male friends without the bro code meaning they have to share your information with the other males. After all it’s important for these deeply unattractive men to know who’s a slut and who’s a stupid little prude isn’t it? Couldn’t be anything in the middle. I don’t have any male friends at the moment, have totally given up on them. On the bright side it has made me think about rejoining the church as the men there respect women and don’t see low sexual numbers as a problem. But although that has its own sexism, I still don’t think it’s as bad as the non religious males. The problem is as a single female I don’t want the hassle of turning down men I just want male friends. Apparently that’s hard to understand. I’m tired of controlling sexual gossip from men and yet the stereotype is gossip from women… not in my experience….. you are dammed if you do dammed if you don’t. Yet not a shred of judgement on male sexuality.

Ffs

“I just wish more people knew that sexism does not just happen to women.” I just wish this straw man would die. Every feminist I’ve ever met is happy to call out sexism against males as part of the wider macho culture. But men rarely get raped, cat called, shot or beaten up by women. Females don’t denigrate male sports. They don’t start wars. They don’t blow themselves up in crowded areas. They don’t flood the media with gyrating semi naked males for the female gaze. They don’t worry about men being cleverer than them. They don’t earn as much as men for the same work. Please please please stop pretending it’s just as bad for boys. It isn’t. Someone worrying because you spoke to their kid whilst being male is annoying but it hardly stands up to endless rape threats. Stop only noticing when something sexist happens to a boy whilst ignoring the avalanche of sexism against females.

Ego

Had to delete my male cousin because he posted a picture of his (clothed) erection on Facebook Not one person called him a slut or a show off or a tart. Hes a bro, a dude who posts about football and beer! And endlesss endless naked torso pictures. He is constantly parading his body and this was the final straw. He is 32. Old enough to know better you’d think. Imagine if a woman the same age posted a porny photo it would be everywhere and she’d never be allowed to forget it. apparently if you’re straight and male you can be narcissistic to the extreme and porny and it’s totally ok dude. Not an ounce of judgment if you’re a male. And no need to grow up or anything.

Joanna

I always thought of my self as a girly girl. But according to a guy i work with i ain’t. And i ain’t a girly girl because i have tattooze and listen to metal music. Oooh and he has never seen me in high heels or a dress.

Tumpeng

We are a group of four, consisted of 2 guys and 2 girls. A professor spread nasty rumour about us, saying that we are couples. Can’t girls and guys be friend without any romantic/sexual intention? Just because we’re often seen hanging out together doesn’t mean there’s a special relationship besides platonic one between the four of us.

Petya

I am 27 and today a man grabbed my butt on the street. I was with my mum and I felt so embarrassed. I froze after realising what has happened. My mum got so angry and shouted at him but he walked away as if nothing had happened. She felt apologetic the rest of the day and we spent a lot of money shopping trying to forget the accident by creating new happy memories. I still feel angry about it, a bit scared. I feel unsafe and worthless. Every time an unknown man touches me without permission or shouts at me or asks me details about my private life, I feel scared and I want to run away as soon as possible. I wish I could do something about it, so it won’t happen again and I wouldn’t have to warn my little sisters about it. It sickens me to think that some stranger might do the same to one of them. I don’t want to be scared. I don’t want them to be scared. Sofia, Bulgaria

Alex F.

I went to the bedroom to take a nap because my allergies were bothering me. My brother in law, decided that it would be funny to scare me, so he came into the room, got under the covers with me and pressed himself against me as he held me very tightly so that I couldn’t move. I freaked out and to a bite of his arm which was holding me very tightly around the chest area. He finally let go and ran out of the room. After the fact, I told my husband but I made it seem less vulgar than it was because it was his brother. The response was he’s a joker, he didn’t mean it, he’s a good guy but it’s a good thing you bit him, he deserved it. However, no one ever spoke to him or told him his behavior was inappropriate. I no longer feel safe around him, I get anxiety and what really upsets me is that no one has or will do anything about it, not even talk to him. Therefore, I stay away, I don’t go to family functions, I always find ways to not be where he is.