A

At 15, I was walking to my friend’s house with my friend. We need to catch a bus and we noticed that a bus had been there for a long time so we ran up to it. There was a man who was at the bus stop ( for a while) and he only got on the bus when we did. He sat across from us and said that we were so beautiful and young we are and that we shouldn’t waste our beauty. As we were about to get off the bus, the man went to get up too, but thankfully another man started to talk to him and then he sat down. I know that if the guy didn’t talk to the man,the man would have followed us home. Once we got to my friend’s home, we told my friend’s mother and she said that we need to be careful. She told us that one of her friends ( an athletic and strong women) was attacked by a man on her way home. Later, I told my family this experience with the man on the bus. My mum and sister were glad that nothing happened. But my brother didn’t see the problem. He said that the guy was just being nice and that we were just overreacting.

anonymous

When I was working taking emergency calls, a woman with many years working in that environment was not given an interview for a supervisor’s role. The role went to a 19 yo man.

Felicity

I’m in my late 20’s. My boyfriend and I wanted to have a look around a local swingers club close to our house, so one night we dressed up and went in just to have a look around, we weren’t planning to do anything sexual at all. At one point, I found some handcuffs chained to the wall. I slipped my hands into them to demonstrate to my boyfriend what it would be like. A guy walked over, “should I tighten this a little?” I said ok. He got way too close for comfort and started pressing his naked penis onto my leg. I started yelling at him to stop. He didn’t move, so I quickly slipped my hands out of the cuffs, which were still relatively loose and took a few steps away from him. He reached out and groped me, all the while I was still yelling at him to stop. I quickly left that room with my boyfriend. Twenty minutes later, that guy walked passed me again and grabbed again at my crotch. The owners of the club didn’t want to know about the incident, and became very standoffish when my partner said we were thinking of reporting it to the police. We reported the incident to the police. First we spoke to a middle aged man, who gave me a really judgy and disapproving look when I mentioned the sex club. I then recounted the story in more detail to a female detective who suggested that perhaps I should have expected this behaviour if I was in a sex club. I replied to her that consent is always needed, regardless of where you happened to be at the time.This was an incredibly shameful and traumatic experience for me. It’s been a few days, and I don’t think I’ll start feeling normal again for quite a while. I felt like that guy didn’t see me as a human being. I don’t think that sexual assault is all that uncommon, and it generally goes unreported. When I think of all the women who suffer silently like this, I am filled with rage.

Felicity

I turned up at a friend’s party on Saturday night. I was on time, but the friend, a guy I don’t know all that well, was running really late. Some people had arrived before me, most were male, except for one young woman, also a guest, who he had asked to help make his cake. As I walked in, he asked me to help the other woman make the cake, despite the fact that there were lots of guys who were standing around idly. It annoyed me, but I decided to let it go. When we had finished making his cake, a lot more people had arrived, and dirty crockery was already starting to pile up. The host ran over, did not thank me, and asked me to start loading the dishwasher. I ignored his request, eventually put my own glass in the dishwasher, and left. Having a vagina does not mean that I am your domestic help.

Anon

A man suggested that I dressed differently in an interview to secure the job I wanted (I was wearing black trousers/formal wear) Based on my overall looks and appearance, he was surprised to learn I was intelligent and articulate. I forgot to mention that prior to walking into the meeting with him, a male employee made a suggestive comment about us being in a room together (much to the amusement of the other male/female employees in the room).

Nicki

I find Everyday Sexism and my experience of it very much depends on what I’m wearing. If I’m out running I often get unwanted comments/wolf whistles from truck drivers and males in cars together. If I’m wearing everyday clothes that are fitted I can get the same response. The older I get the less it happens but because my hair is long from behind I look younger than I am.

thea

I invited this guy up to my beach house one weekend with a few friends. We had talked about doing stuff when we got down there because my parents weren’t with us. As soon as we got there he couldn’t get his hands off me, as if that were the only reason he came here for. After a while I got really sick of it and made it as clear to him as possible without ‘making a scene’ that I just didn’t want to do anything with him. He kept pushing it, when I just wanted to have a good time and chat with everyone. He kept pulling me into the bedroom to do stuff so I tried to distract him with something else. Anyway I ended up having sex with him merely because I thought it would get him to stop pestering me for it. The entire time I felt uncomfortable and upset with myself for letting him do this to me. I’ve always thought of myself as an extremely hard headed chick and would never have thought i’d get myself in a situation like this. Just goes to show this could literally happen to anyone. A few months after it, I didn’t even realise what he did was actually wrong I sort of told myself it was just a tricky situation. Not enough people are being taught about the definitions of sexual assault and sexual harassment.

Louise

My school has strict uniform policies, which includes skirt length reaching the knees or a maximum of two inches above. We are told off, given detentions, parents are called, and notably one girl was forced to change dresses. We are told to always appear presentable, with neat hair and clean uniforms and not to tumble about and play roughly. “That’s not very ladylike,” they sneer. The boys have no such obligations. A few day ago I saw a boy with mud covering his back. His shirt was untucked, he was grinning and his hair was messy beyond belief. He then charged at his friend and tackled him to the ground. “Boys will be boys,” they smile indulgently. They shrug in a what-can-you-do manner. And then they turn around and scold us for fighting and tussling and doing “something I would expect from the boys, not you girls.” I hate it. Sexism is everywhere. And it starts young.

Francesca

I was invited to attend a workshop as a participant and one of only two females of 60 participants. When one of the male participants discovered that his accommodation wasn’t confirmed, he asked me to resolve it for him

Em

When I was 16 I went on work experience for school at a major home development company. While organising construction files a male architect came over to me and asked if I wanted to wash his car for him when I was done. I didn’t even think twice at the time – it was almost a compliment to be noticed. Now it makes me sick.