Walking home from my music lesson when I was 15, in my neighborhood, around 5 pm, daylight, I passed two boys my own age on the sidewalk. I didn’t move over to make room for the two of them to pass me and one of them reached out and slammed his hand hard across my chest. it actually hurt a lot but more than that I felt humiliated. I remember walking the rest of the way home crying, hot tears filling up my eyes underneath my glasses. It seemed so uncalled for. I didn’t know them. I was flat-chested, kind of nerdy. I wondered if I had just moved over if it wouldn’t have happened. When I got home I didn’t even tell my mother. This was Winnipeg, West End, 1974. We learn early on to make room so that there is less possibility of something like this happening.
today in school a guy asked me to suck his dick in his language and when i got annoyed and said your disgusting he told me it was just a joke and the next day him and his friends started singing a very crude and vulgar song in his language to me (the lyrics was something about how he is going to fuck me so hard that hell rip my pussy open) and when my friend (who was sitting next to me) had enough and she told them to stop or she’ll do something about it herself they told us that his friend’s brother is in a gang and how they will beat us up if we do something about it. i was 14 then.
at track and field today our coach was teaching us javelin. after teaching everyone (boys and girls, its a co-ed team) how to throw, he set cones up and said “okay girls this is where you’ve gotta get it to” and proceeded to walk about 4 metres farther, set down more cones and say “boys this is how far you’ve gotta throw it”. it bothered me so much, im horrible at javelin in the first place but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that i’m female
There are various instances where I have felt objectified. 1.) in the professional realm of the world i have often been looked at as having the position i have due to “being pretty”. I have had people comment about my appearance over my intelligence on various occasions regarding job interviews or any other professional encounters. 2.) I cannot walk down the street dressed in ANY sort of clothing, whether sweat pants or shorts and feel comfortable anymore. I have a constant disgust inside and slight fear that someone will yell something out to me, or try and approach me. I find it sad that a woman cannot walk down the street without having to think about all of her surroundings and the awkward stares or cat calls. 3.) Taking public transport of any sort results in people attempting to make conversation with you, of course this is completely fine..until it is always brought back to “do you have a boyfriend” or “what are you doing tonight” or they end up somehow invading your personal space. 4.) Telling people off for objectifying you in public or on the internet always leads to “you’re so vain, why do you think people are always trying to compliment you” and “get over yourself” this is unacceptable. Asking to be left alone and not appreciating unwated sexual comments does not make someone vain.
There is a Crest toothpaste TV commercial. A woman staring at a random guy, and her voice goes: “he could be the one, the father of your children… but first you have to get him to say hello”. Since the woman is not allowed to speak, she can only smile at the guy and hope her blinding smile will make him notice her. Luckily I’m not the only one annoyed by this commercial. http://screaminginallcaps.com/2013/07/08/unlike-the-women-in-crests-commercial-i-can-use-my-words/
I was standing with my dog outside of the library, when a man behind me carrying a box, says “Would you be a sweetheart and open the door for me?” I said that I wouldn’t be a sweetheart, but I would gladly open the door to help him, so I did.
A couple of days ago, I was waiting for the bus alone. Some boys a year younger than me drove slowly by, and rolled down the window to yell “CUNT”, and proceed to laugh and drive off. I was obsessed about finding them and penalizing them until someone told me that it was no big deal and to brush it off. That someone was my mother. I’m too scared to go on the bus again by myself. I don’t know what to do.
According to my boyfriend, when I’m upset, it’s because of my mood swings, not because he did something wrong.
At first I thought of a couple, but then others occurred to me. There are actually way too many to list. 3 of them were inappropriate behaviour by male doctors. While they were supposed to be helping me. Because they believe they are entitled to do this. And they think we are so stupid that we don’t know when we are being felt up and inappropriately touched. Not that it would have mattered back then. Victim blaming was the order of the day and men were excused no matter how abominable their behaviour. I have had female doctors for the last 20 years and will never again have anything to do with a male doctor, ever in this lifetime. I’ll choose death before I let another one near me.
Today I was doing landscaping maintenance at a Home Depot yard. A group of three men got out of their vehicles, walked towards the entrance, as one of the men said, “hey, you missed a spot” while pointing at the concrete parking lot. I said, “ya, thanks” as they walked into the store laughing. Five minutes after walking in the Home Depot they walked out again, and the same man said, “hey, how’s it going, hey, hey, answer me, how’s it going” right in my face. I did not look up or reply. As they walked towards their vehicle the man’s voice rose louder: “Hey! you’re supposed to be polite to customers! Snobby lil’ bitch. Fuck you!” And then they drove away. I’m sorry that I was performing a conventionally male dominant form of labour and that I didn’t respond when you harassed me while I was doing my work. P.S, I don’t work for Home Depot and even if I did I don’t have to reply to customers who verbally harass workers in a sexist manner.