Category Archives: Everyday Sexism

Kitty

The fact that if you’re a woman in a male-dominated occupation or a woman who does something like boxing or footy, then you get assumptions made about you. Whether you’re a lesbian or not & whether you’re ‘one of the lads’ are 2 such examples. Another annoyance is having your appearance commented on as opposed to how good you are at whatever it is you’re doing- moronic stuff to the effect of “that Janet is well tasty- she has lovely tits, a fit body & lovely legs”, while not saying a word about how good she is at boxing, footy or whatever, while men don’t get that. Men do get the former, however- I remember an acquaintance saying that a male friend of his who was a dancer got the piss taken out of him in the pub once by some idiot man over his occupation, & a male MasterChef Australia contestant got stick off his father for wanting to be a chef on the grounds that in their culture (he was oriental), cooking was the job of the females (says who?!). This is equally unacceptable. Another related thing that annoys me is when people assume that only straight men are interested in things like cars & motorbikes, & refer to them as ‘boys’ toys’.

Canada Woman

I just finished Grade 11 in high school and I went on a date with the typical popular guy from a nearby town. He was smart, the quarterback, his family regularly attended church, and other girls also wanted to be with him. During our date he took me to his farm and things started to advance. He wanted to have sex and I told him that I was not ready, and that I wanted to wait. His response was “I have waited long enough”. I remember feeling froze and confused at this time and then he became frustrated and told me to just relax as he was now on top of me. I said no and stop, and tried to push him away, but it had no effect. I gave up and felt powerless. It took me over a year before I stopped blaming myself for what happened, as I thought I could have ran when I had the chance or spoke louder. The problem is not always with the stereotypical man. The problems are within our own communities with people that would be the most unexpected.

Clara

1) since being 12 years old men have called out in the street, made inappropriate comments, told me and friends that they want to do sexual things to us etc…. 2) at work as a young teacher being told to walk up and down a classroom so that the students could “admire me ” (by another teacher!) 3) with a long-term partner. I asked him to stop during sex because it had started to hurt. He carried on. This happened a number of times and even when I was crying and pushing him away he didn’t stop. When I was crying afterwards he would say that he didn’t realise. That I hadn’t been saying no loud enough. he didn’t believe he was doing something so wrong, and he will probably never understand the impact it had on me. However this doesn’t excuse his damaging, and violating actions. Angry with myself for letting it happen multiple times, and getting caught in an abusive situation but I understand (years later) that this is not my fault. far too many friends and relatives have told me similar stories, and far too many men have not believed me.

Laura

I work in HR, which means almost 80% of our department are girls. Yesterday, my boss, who is a man, decided to take some employees to play foosball. Guess who he picked? He only picked the men… all of us have been seen playing foosball on our free time.

Paula

While pregnant, one of my colleagueas told me that he was sad for my husband, that since I was pregnant I was unbearable. After giving birth I lost 10kg, and now my colleague keeps making references to my weight and how I look so much better tan before.

Little things

I’ve recently started a new job and have noticed a few things that some of my team members do without realising. The latest one that has upset me more than it should is the correction of my work. I have no issue with being wrong, I’m new, help me please. But the problem piece was corrected by a male in my team, without notifying me of what needed changing and why. How am I supposed to learn the right way to do something if you don’t help me out a bit?

Tiptoes

Years ago, my housemate had a friend stay over after a party. After I went to bed the friend came into my room twice and tried to get into bed with me. He didn’t leave the second time I tried to kick him out so I went to sleep downstairs and woke to find his hand inside my pyjama bottoms. I shared my experience in what’s usually an accepting and welcoming place. Most replies were supportive. But three people called me stupid for not locking my door (there was no lock) or barricading it with furniture (I had no furniture I would have been able to move without help). Another four people said I was lying, it never happened. Some said it was my fault because if I’d told my housemate, he would have beaten his friend up (no, he wouldn’t – I did tell him and said I didn’t want that guy in our house again but he still invited him back) or if I’d thrown him out of the house the first time there wouldn’t have been a second or third incident. Why didn’t I wake my friends? Why didn’t I scream? Why didn’t I leave the building? Why didn’t I make him leave? Why didn’t I kick the crap out of him? Why did I “let” him do it again after the first time? None of those people seemed to think the man was at fault for sexually assaulting me. They seemed to think it was all my fault for not doing what they thought I ought to do.

Louise

In my workplace, an all female mental health residential unit. Most of my colleagues were so ignorant and un-pc that when a I met a member of staff who seemed more enlightened they really stood out in comparison. This happened with a male mental health nurse in his ealrly twenties. He was newly married and spoke affectionately about his wife. He had travelled and seemed open-minded. This nurse seemed very inclusive of junior unqualified staff when planning the shift. He actually seemed to listen to everyone and take all views on board in his decision-making. It seemed so refreshing. Sadly all my illusions came crashing down one day at the end of a slightly stressful shift. He was in the office with me and a woman colleague (a MISSsogynist as in a man apologist) so he knew he had one person onside. He starts on this massive rant about the clients saying they’ve all been unbearable today and how they gossip about one another and they do this they do that….and he ends it with “it’s women they’re all terrible, they’re all vile. If it was all men in here it’d be wonderful to work here”. And he wasn’t jokin. The other colleague says “yes i know i love working with men, women are too much trouble”. I could not believe my ears. The amount of times i’ve heard both female and male staff praise male clients and how much ‘easier’ they are to work with astounds me. On previous occasions i have defended wonen saying stuff like I love women they’re ace and been looked at like i’m an alien. I wanted to shut my colleagues down on this occasion I wanted to say. .”Yeah male clients say nothing for 3 years then you find them hung in their bedroom or they hit another client with a chair so brutally that they end up hospitalised or they sexually assault another client or member of staff yep they are so easy.” But i just said nothing and left my job the following week cos all hope for change had evaporated.

Alejandra

I was talking about Mara Castillo (the girl raped and killed by a cabify driver here in Mexico) with a co worker and he said “well she was really hot actually”.I did not know if I should feel ashamed of this world, my country, should I cry , scream or what..?