Been an engineer since 1980. Dropped out of grad school “the first time around” because my advisor tried to get into my pants. Endured through “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?” and “Ron and his girl are coming over”…and the guy who grabbed my arm forcefully to make a point. What helped was our women’s group and a couple of bosses who believed in me “You’re good, and you’ll be better when you understand how good you are.” (Including said “Ron”).
Did well anyway. Some of the companies where I’ve worked prided themselves in non-discrimination against women, some were fairly neutral.
Went to grad school the second time because “Dr. X” clarified that I was an engineer whereas “Ms. X” could be any role. (I was talking to Dr. Z, a Hispanic women, who pointed out without the “Dr.” she was often assumed to be the hotel maid!) Still doing well, still suffering sexism (more dismissal of my ideas, and being overtalked, than harassment). I figure I’ve accomplished what I have needed to, maybe not as much as equally competent men my age, but they didn’t have the hurdles I had–they had bosses and coworkers and clients who believed in them and gave them progressive roles without them having to ask. They were considered management material and guided into it whereas I was considered “not management material” and shuffled aside.
So now I’m into being competent, being thorough, doing what I’d promised I’d do, and enjoying my non-work life as much as I can. What are they going to do, fire me? I’ve got enough money to retire now, I just choose not to. I ask for what I want, tell what I’m thinking, and only rarely get nightmares about them coming after me with guns. 🙁
I hope the younger women have it easier. It’d be nice if they recognized it was harder for me, but since their male colleagues don’t have to recognize that, I wouldn’t want to burden the women.