J

I am a man, and I had worked for two years at a business meeting every standard for promotion consistently, but watched my female coworkers with less experience be promoted. A female coworker asked our female manager why this was and to my shock, her response was reportedly, “I just don’t like him” when asked why, “I don’t know I just don’t” I talked about this with my male co workers and they, like myself, had experienced similar instances. Neither myself or they had received the scheduled raises that our female coworkers had, were scheduled less hours, and were not afforded opportunity for advancement within the company. I later found that she had been going through a particularly nasty divorce, and seemingly projecting her feelings for one man towards all.

In other instances, I have been assumed a rapist. Once when I had FINALLY given into my drunk ex girlfriends constant attempts to have sex with me, being drunk myself. (she told a friend I had assaulted her, drunkenly forgetting that her friend had watched her throw herself at me all night) The second time on a date, suggesting that we take a walk away from a crowded and loud restaurant so we could actually talk get to know eachother better. She assumed (sexistly) that I meant, “let’s find a quiet dark place for me to rape you”. this eventually blew over after constant reassurance that if she didn’t feel comfortable, she was more than welcome to leave and if she didn’t feel comfortable with me driving her home, I was more than happy to foot the bill for a female driven uber ride home. I am an introvert, I don’t do well in crowds. So the assumption that I want to rape you because I just want a one on one interface where I am both able to hear what you say, and able to express my thoughts in a clear manner without the stress of being in a loud crowded place has set my psyche back in the realms of romance. Contrary to popular theory, I do experience emotion and those emotions are capable of being hurt.