i have trained in martial arts for around 9 years. i know how to use a bokkun (wooden rod) to fight. i am a bodybuilder. and yet, despite all of my physical precautions, i still cannot bring myself to do anything more than give men on the street the finger when they make kissing noises, when they honk their horns at me, when they call out. people seem to think ‘defending yourself’ will help. it hasn’t. my intelligence hasn’t helped either. i’m a member of a website where i help people to learn english, and i constantly get harassed by older men asking me about my virginity, about if i want to send them pictures. none of my good qualities and hobbies have protected me from misogyny and i cannot pretend they do any longer.