Just another tired woman

An ex-boyfriend said to me “well, male orgasm is life giving, what’s so important about female orgasm?” Quote from ex-boyfriend’s father, who was equally sexist, “women are just from another planet.” This ex-boyfriend constantly gaslighted me, tried to rape me and insulted me on a regular basis which resulted in anxiety, self harm and eating disorders.

I know people that told me women shouldn’t vote because they can’t make rational decisions.

Another winner of an ex-boyfriend “some women just can’t get off, it’s not like they’re not enjoying it.” He was quoting Savage Love and frankly, what does a gay man know about female orgasm? He had terrible skills, by the way, and erectile issues, both of which I was 110% supportive about, but sure. It’s cool.

My father used to compare the size and shape of my ass to my friend’s. He would point out every zit or flaw on my skin. He would point to my bra strap when I first wore one and ask “what’s that? [smirk].”

Nearly every man I have ever dated has made comments about pubic hair and gave their unsolicited ideas of how it should be groomed.

I am literally sick to death of having to hear what men like. Literally every waking second is like l am just smothered with “What Men Like.” And if you don’t do the things, you risk comments like, ‘when you wear your hair in a bun you look like a boy’ or ‘you look sick’ if I don’t wear makeup or “you dress like a flute player.”

And everything is always just not the fault of men. I read an article about a Skype sex scam targeting men and it was literally full of entitlement. Something like, “she is a really beautiful girl. With a girl like this, you lose your head.” It’s the classic “I can’t help myself” story. I read an article about the health benefits of seaweed salad that went something like this: “seaweed salad can help with PMS symptoms. Men rejoice!” That particular article received a nasty-gram, which was completely ignored, I’m sure.

Need I even go into the sexism in advertising? Scantily clad women are everywhere for men to ogle. They’re entitled and expected to ogle. Women are expected to take note quietly. It’s madness.

We can’t live like this. I can’t live like this. Paranoid about everything. Hoping I can get through everyday under the Male Gaze Radar without comments on my appearance or being forced to hear or see “What Men Like.”