I am reading your book. I hadn’t really thought about my own experiences of sexism before. Having a sister who was kidnapped and sexually assaulted at 14 and later experienced domestic violence, I didn’t really think anything less was particularly notable perhaps…but I would to add to the project.
First sexual experience, repeating ‘god please make him stop’ inside my head but not feeling able to say anything out loud. A few months later, the same boy led me to a tent while I was drunk and removed all my clothes. Again, was unable to say anything. Luckily my friend found us, got rid of him and helped me back into my clothes. We carried on like nothing happened.
Age 15, broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me with my friend and then a year of bulimia. Who knows why.
First long term boyfriend, aged 16, used to wake with him on/in me in the night. I thought it was what I got for having sex. Over a year later I ended the relationship after months of my boyfriends behaviour becoming more erratic and hostile towards me. Eventually he threw me into some patio doors at a party. That night I admitted to my best friend what had been happening and about a month later finished with him after another incident at a party.
University of Edinburgh. Friends called us slags and made constant jokes about getting back to the kitchen. We were regularly groped at clubs and in bars. GI Joes and Barbie Hoes night sticks out. Guys seemed to think that if they just smiled at you they could then stick their tongue down your throat. The worst part is we let them. In my final year, the girls in one of my tutorials were rated by the boys on how fuckable we were.
It was all sexism. But I know that I am one of the lucky ones.