When I was in college, the Tinder app had just begun and after months of not having a date, I decided I would try it. At first, of course, it is a confidence boost as many guys “swipe right” and you match. It wasn’t until later I realized how wrong I was to swipe right. This guy I had met on the app and I had been talking to for about a month, and had asked me to go on dates a couple of times. I dodged the question at first, a little leery of meeting up with someone I didn’t know even though we went to the same college and had a mutual acquaintance. However, after the second or third time and feeling down about being lonely, I said yes to a date… Fast forward to the date, he begins drinking (I’m 20 at the time so I do not) and everything is okay. He drove (he picked me up or I would have just driven myself to safety) to his apartment and suggested we walk to a bar near it. So, me being young and impressionable, I go with him where he continues to drink a couple of beers. By the time we leave, I walk towards his car and he tells me I can’t go yet. He wants me to see his apartment or needs to grab something first. So, we go up to his apartment, he gets yet another drink, and as I am sitting on his couch, waiting for this night to be over, he starts the most aggressive make-out session I’ve ever experienced. At one point I tried to jerk my head away and it’s like he had it so tight I couldn’t move. The next thing I know he’s dragging me to his bedroom and against all of my protesting, begins to take my clothes off. This isn’t the first time I’ve been naked in front of a guy, but let me tell you, it is a feeling of extreme nakedness when a man takes your clothes off against your will. I prayed for a way out and thankfully, the guy finally listened to me when I said I needed to leave right then. I was not raped that night. He took me home and I have never spoken to him again. But it took me about two years before I realized what exactly he had done to me that night. You see, at the time, I blamed it on myself and decided since it wasn’t rape, it wasn’t anything. Wrong. He sexually assaulted me that night. I had bruises on my arms the next day from trying to get away from him. He scared the hell out of me and made me feel guilty for his inexcusable behavior for years. No longer, though. I am now in a wonderful relationship with a man who respects me, loves me, and would never even persuade me into something I did not feel comfortable with. I want this message to be shared with my fellow college girls. This stuff happens entirely too often on our college campuses and it can be extremely lonely and painful. Stay strong, girl bosses. They know not who they mess with. The strongest people I’ve ever known have been women and I intend to be one of them myself.
