Eli Tersou

Tonight I went out with some friends on a light-hearted and fun night out. We drank, we laughed, we played music and we danced. It was overall very fun and carefree.

However I managed to leave the club furious and frustrated… In the space of 2 hours I was groped 5 times. That’s an average of being touched without my consent every 24 minutes. Every 6 song I had a man either tighten his crotch against my butt, squeeze my arm uncomfortably tight to my breast or stick his index finger in the hollow of my cleavage. Fucking ENOUGH.

Would you ever imagine a woman doing that to a man? What kind of world do you live in where you think people will reciprocate to such ridiculous and offensive advances? But the problem is that there are so many women that do. I even saw one of the men who had fondled me getting with a girl an hour after having inserted his hand in the two creases under my butt cheeks and lifting the weight of them whilst he pressed his semi hard genitals against them. How is this OK and how are women perpetrating and even rewarding this disrespectful behaviour is just beyond me.

I was not even wearing anything provocative and this should not be, in any case, the issue. No matter how I dress or look like am NOT ASKING FOR IT and you are not entitled to treat me with a sense of undignified superiority, lending yourself to touch my body whatever way you see fit. I could be rubbing my genitals all over a pole stark bollock naked and that would still not be any excuse for you to touch me without my own consent.

I mean can you imagine if a woman grabbed a man’s genitals in a club, feeling the weight and girth of a man’s balls and penis? Can you imagine the man getting, very obviously, upset at that completely ridiculous and intrusive advance and the girl, instead of asking for forgiveness, shrug it off, pat the guys head and turn around on to the next unsuspecting man? Ofcourse not, because that behaviour is absolutely nonsensical, hurtful and outright disgusting.

The frustration and outrage you feel when a guy does that and when you confront him he smiles or winks at you and walks away is very disempowering. Like your reaction is invalid and you have to just “deal with it, that’s how men are, they can’t control themselves”. Yes they fucking can. Men are not animals. Men have brains and rationale and thinking with their dicks is not enough of an excuse to not think and disrespect others. Even if you are drunk! I mean, for the love of god, when they have daughters, would they ever be ok with such behaviours directed at their own children? At their mothers or at their sisters?

Thankfully, I know that most if not all men that surround me would not even think of behaving in such way, and I know most would rise up to the occasion and confront them. But how disenheartening it is that when out dancing with friends, when you walk down the street, when you go on a run or when you even hold business meetings, you have to witness and be subject to these sexist behaviours.