My ex-fiancé choked me on the last day I allowed the relationship to be.
He told me I am too physically delicate and also told me I was too big to model ever again.
He proceeded to try to ‘make’ me want to be 117-120 pounds at 5’10 with heart murmurs by saying “I felt closer to you when I could feel your ribs.”
He would grade how I looked constantly, even with him being at least 100 lbs conservatively overweight and not showering all the time, and belittled my viewpoints on really everything.
He told me corrective sex would make me not be asexual, I had this corrective sex for 1.5 years, I am still asexual.
Happy he is out of my life. I am stronger now though. I do not date guys that want to have sex since I am asexual. I finally got to that point in realizing that no, my being this way since birth was not due to any kind of medication, I don’t smoke and drink, and am a clean vegan besides the occasional use of cow’s milk creamer when I am presented with coffee somewhere that does not carry almond milk and the like.
I have become such a clean person to narrow down the grounds of possibility of why I am asexual. For example, if I took antidepressants or hard drugs – I would probably blame my asexuality on the side-effects of those drugs. I have never been raped. I have grown up happily and live well now, if not a bit underpayed.
I don’t resist my normal self any longer. I don’t have sex because it’s normal and I am beautiful.
I am by myself, asexual, and f*cking happy for the first time in my twenties.
I will be thirty in 3 months. Find your truth and get away from the craziness faster than I did.