Today on the tube I confronted a man who was sexually harassing a woman. The woman either didn’t know it was happening or was trying to ignore it (I’ve been there). She had her back to him. He was pressing himself up against her unnecessarily and I noticed when he moved to get out of someone’s way at a stop, he had boner. I thought, ‘oh dear, that poor guy got a boner from all this jostling around and the heat and pressing together of bodies etc.’ thinking he’d go press himself against the tube door to try to conceal it ’til it went down. But no, he went right back up against the woman, even adjusting his penis on the way, and pressed it right in to her ass. This was happening right in front of me, I just had to say something. I said to him I didn’t think he needed to stand so close to her. He acted all clueless and took out his headphones and started asking me what I was talking about. I said things like, ‘I think you know what I’m talking about and why I’m saying this’. I asked the girl did she know him, and she said ‘no’. Almost immediately, the guy to my left, who wasn’t with the other guy and I don’t think could have seen what happened, started bearing down on me telling me I was mental. And challenging me over and over, not letting me say anything. They were both much taller than me, I was in the middle of them, and they both just kept talking, saying things like ‘what are you on about?’, ‘what are you trying to say?’, ‘you’re mental’. I started to feel very intimidated by then and really lost my nerve. I didn’t want to embarrass the girl, I didn’t want to embarrass myself either to be honest by spelling it out. But I know now what I should have said. I should have said nice and loud and clear: YOU CANNOT RUB YOUR PENIS UP AGAINST PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR PRIOR CONSENT, WHAT YOU DID IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT, AND DENYING IT AND TRYING TO INTIMIDATE ME SHOWS YOU FOR THE COWARD YOU ARE, KEEP YOUR PENIS TO YOURSELF! I didn’t say this of course, just went over it and over it in my head ’til I got home and logged on here. I feel like I need training of some sort to be able to stand my ground and find the right words in a situation like that. I was expecting him to deny it and maybe turn away from me, but not for the other guy out of nowhere to defend him, which just emboldened the perpetrator. Nobody else saw this, and the girl didn’t say anything. I was a packed rush hour Jubilee between London Bridge and Canada Water where I was glad to get off. A nice guy caught up with me afterwards and asked what happened, which I really appreciate as I was feeling quite rattled. He was horrified and had no idea what had gone on, but was just concerned for me as he saw those two guys bearing down on me. Not a nice experience, but I’m glad I spoke up. I’d like to be more resilient in the same situation in future. And find the right thing to say. I’m going to work on that.
