At school in PSHE and science, we were taught that sex was a risky, painful, messy, disease ridden chore that two adult people (a woman and a man) had to go through (after getting married to their special someone) in order to reproduce and have offspring that pooed,cried and drained your monetary resources. It was clinically presented as an boring, embarrassing and revolting task, similar to taking out the rubbish, unpleasant but a necessary evil for the running of the household and the continuation of the human race. We were told that make animals tricked the female animals into reproducing by displaying and singing. We were told in science class that male animals forced themselves into female animals to spread their genes.
These classes made me deeply suspicious of men. I never went out partying or enjoying a drink because I was terrified that my drink would be spiked by a man who would then rape me after deceiving me, then the baby would mean that I couldn’t continue my education I would have to stay home and look after it but hardly be able to afford it. I thought that men could attack, drug or impregnate me at any time. This is why I had no fun when I was young and found it hard to trust men because I was told that men abuse women.
I could never relax or enjoy myself when I was younger because I was terrified that I would be raped and get HIV or some other STD that was going.
I am miserable and lonely now because of the advice I was given when I was younger. I am terrified, ashamed and embarrassed by sex. I feel ashamed when I am attracted to people.
The teachers would scream and yell at us, then they would ironically state that healthy relationships are built on trust.
Were they trying to teach us or poison us?