Just hear this

I bust a gut and made myself ill trying to get mental health care for my male partner – all his drs were male, but wouldn’t take him seriously and I was written off as a fussy busybody woman.
Annoyingly the lack of recognition for depression in males has been used against me when I dare talk about women’s problems – oh the irony! none of these men who argue that feminism is wrong have been unpaid carer for a depressed and increasingly aggressive male but they like the argument that men have it worse. It’s just academic point scoring from men who haven’t suffered at all themselves or been the support group for other men.
If you think being a depressed man is hard, try being his partner – endless encouraging, ignoring insults and shouting, washing sheets after every nightmare, bathing him, dressing him, being manically talked at constantly half the night, driving him to work, being on call, being sneered at by male doctors, endless forms and mental health admin, my own job interrupted constantly, then having to leave my own home and start again because my partner was no longer physically safe. At one point a male authority type actually laughed in my face when I tried to get help for my partner. That was a low moment.
It’s usually the male doctors and bosses who won’t admit depression in men, and usually the females who are caring for them and battling the system.
Yet it’s also used against females when they start talking about any problems they might have.
Oh and here’s the kicker – I got called a “doormat” because I let him have the house! Yes that word was actually used.
Apparently being compassionate or sticking up for males who suffer makes you a weak “enabling” woman.
But sticking up for yourself or other women makes you a bitchy, strident, aggressive woman.
Dammed if you do dammed if you don’t.
I’m a feminist who tries to support the men in my life when they need me. I still know women have it worse in media, domestic violence lower pay and with sex offences. But mainly with judgementalism and inability to be heard.
Hoping things are changing. This website is a start. It would also help if anti feminists did a bit more of the care work instead of using male depression as a convenient argument.