The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

If you prefer to e-mail me at laura@everydaysexism.com I can upload your story for you instead. Follow us on Twitter (and submit entries by tweet) at @EverydaySexism.

Add your story:

neyla

I was coming back from school, I was dressed as a school girl which means l wasn’t exposing parte of my body and of War daylight. A man in a car stopped right in front of me and asked me how much I wanted to do stuff with him. I didn’t answer thinking he would leave me in peace but he didn’t. After walking pass his car he surpassed and stopped in front me again, this time showing me his penis and asking once again how much I wanted.

E

The story I’m about to tell happened several months ago, and this is going to be the first time I am truly going to express my feelings about it.
I was walking on the street, at daytime, to go to the metro and to eventually go home. A few meters in front of me was a groupe of 4 or 5 boys, who weren’t older than 17 (I’m around that age as well). The moment they saw me, they started laughing and I heard them saying ”look at that woman!”. But then one of the guys told him, ”no she’s not a woman, she’s a girl. Look at those legs!” And they kept on laughing. At first, I didn’t know what to do. Should I have yelled at them? Ran away? No. Instead, I did as if I hadn’t heard anything. And the worse part is, that’s the choice most women would’ve taken. So I kept on walking, faster and faster, until they were no longer there.
When I decided to talk about it to my friends (girls) they felt bad for me, and we never really discussed about it, even though I needed to. But I didn’t want to push it. Because I thought my story didn’t matter. I thought I was just one of these many girls who experienced things like this one. So, again, I shushed.
I then explained it to my boyfriend, whom I love very much, and when I told him about it, I was expecting him to feel sorry for me, hug me, or try to make me feel better and remind me that he was there for me in case such thing ever happened again. What happened was the contrary. He directly asked, ”But… What were you even wearing?” I froze at that question. I asked him if I was wearing a skirt, a low neckline, would it have made these boys’ actions normal and acceptable? He immediatly defended himself by saying no, but that ”I couldn’t have expected anything else if I wore provocative clothes”. And the truth is, I was actually wearing baggy pants and a coat. Eventually, he closed the subject and we never reopened it.
I felt terrible. I was shocked by the thoughts my very own boyfriend had about this subject.
And this is just one of my many experiences. Everyday I feel suffocated. Everyday I can feel the presence and the pressure of sexism. Everyday I feel as if I was seen as a sexual object that shouldn’t even be in this school, by boys. Everyday I hear boys insulting, using expressions that sexualise in a negative and nasty way women.
This issue affects me a lot more than my entourage thinks; and I thank this Project for allowing me to finally speak up and me feel better.

Sienna

When I first started to become really interested in programming and robotics and when I told adults this one of the most common responses I got was that it’s a really good career for me because I’d be able to work from home and raise a family… I was 11.

A

Im a support worker working in residential care and a male colleague recently told me that I’d make a wonderful house wife. I was making a pot of soup at the time and cleaning the kitchen. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I generally get on with this colleague and have got used to his passing comments praising me for being ‘lovely’ or ‘sweet’ but suddenly I realised that I felt so angry and upset that he is constantly undermining me. I now feel that I need to prove myself and remind this man that I’m an ambitious person and while I would like to get married one day this is not my goal in life!
I’m also upset that in this line of work women, such as myself support men with personal care while the male staff can only support men. Strikes me as sexist because I feel uncomfortable assisting men who might enjoy the attention from a woman like myself.

Helen

I had a job in a café and bar and I was introducing a new colleague to the workspace and his tasks. When our boss walked in he would only speak to my colleague and ignore that I was there. He ended the conversation with the instruction for the day: “Daniel, there are not so many guests today because the weather is bad, so this will be a quite relaxed day for you. Helen is going to clean the bar today, so if you want, you might join her.”

Lucy

Not being able to express an opinion passionately without being told to calm down. People feeling that it isn’t worth it to use the word ‘feminist’ because of the negative connotations associated with the word.

A

I was out having a good time with my boyfriend and his friends. One of the friends went up to my boyfriend to tell him to take me home because I’m not enjoying myself. I was. If the guy really thought I wasn’t enjoying myself, why did he go to my boyfriend and not me? And why can’t I make my own decision on whether I want to go home or not? This has happened on multiple occasions

S.

There’s a really good boys school in my area that let’s 10 girls in every year for sixth form. I was thinking about applying when I heard from friends that in previous years the boys had made a “tradition” of rating the girls 1-10 on the first day and referring to them by that number for the next 2 years.
I thought it was obviously just a rumour but then had it confirmed to me by a family friend that went there.
Needless to say I didn’t apply.

Reece

I’m a transmale but only recently came out, so everyone at my school still thinks I’m a really masculine girl. A year 8 boy yelled after me “I wanna make you squirt” in the corridor. I’m in year 12. He and his friends then laughed really hard. So much wrong going on here.

Michaela

Hello, I learned about your project from a Tedx talk you did (good job btw)! I never felt like assault,misogyny,harassment is something normal and should be taken lightly but it rather is a flaw in education and society that needs to be faced as it is.I’d like to share two of my stories that have affected me mostly, in a negative way, unfortunately.I was always guarded and raised up with a strong feminist and equality-striving drive and always noticed when I or any other female or even a male in that case, is being treated unfairly.

The first one took place about a year ago in a hotel room. My boss at the time was a very chatty and flirty old man and although I was feeling uncomfortable by his compliments as I thought that they were very inappropriate for a man of his age to say to a 19-year-old employee, I believed that this is just how he communicates. A series of unlucky events (good thing they happened, after all) led to a deal break so I traveled to my worktown to be at that time, by train, at night to spend the night at a hotel, he had reccomended to me, to give me a compensation for all the time and money I had spent being stagnant and away from my actual living place for about a month.When I arrived at my hotel room and as I was getting confy after a long tiring day, I get a phonecall. It was him asking me my room number. I, being unsuspected at the moment thought he was asking me so he would add it to the bill so he would pay for it but shortly after I told him my room number (I still remember in fright, it was 210) he said: “I’m downstairs, I’m coming”.I froze in fear, I knew exactly what he had in mind. I collected any sharp objects I could find around and put them inside my pants to protect myself, I opened the balcony door wide so somebody could hear me if I screamed and quickly found an excuse so we could get out of the room immediately. He knocked the door, came in, stuck me against the wall and tried to kissed me, when he saw that I was not consenting, he tried to save the situation by kissing me on the cheeks and went for my neck while sliding his hands under my waist. I pushed him away, made it clear with my attitude that I am not interested in what he had in mind and asked him to go out to eat because I was starving and when we arrived at the restaurant, I couldn’t eat a thing, my stomach was tied and I was looking around trying to navigate where we were so I could call my mother and let her know were I was and with whom, if anything happened to me. He gave me the compensation and when he drove me back at the hotel he parked his car, took my hand and made inappropriate suggestions of spending the night together. I refused, I told him that I’d call him first thing in the morning but when I went back to the room I was so terrified knowing that we are in the same town and that he could come back any moment that I just couldn’t relax, collected my things and left with the earliest bus. I never called, of course. What disgusts me, is that he has a son the same age as I am and what frightens me still, is that had he been more aggresive, I would’ve been raped that night.

My second story takes place at an infamous night club where me and me friend were having fun and dancing.I had never been to this place at night before although I had been hearing stories about it (I am referring to non other than Faliraki of Rhodes,Greece). Previously, we had been in another club where two guys introduced themselves to us and asked what our plans were for the night. There was a party not far from where we where, and they intented to go,but we had been there an hour before and told them that it was boring, as it was in fact, so we told them that we were heading for another club. While being in the aforemenioned club, these guys appear at the door, clearly searching the club for us. We talked a little, got a little drunk and they confessed us that they were drug dealers. We knew we were in trouble and that these guys were determined to have sex with us.They were following us around everywhere and even when we tried to escape through the bathroom door, they came looking for us there too. I have a friend who is police officer and has given me some self-defense tips which I applied. I grabbed a beer bottle as a “weapon”,warned my friend not to leave my side and not, in any case, drink anything that they offer to us, that in fact did, a couple of minutes later. They asked us if we would like them to buy us a drink and when we refused he brought two drinks anyway that he insisted that we drink. Long story short, we managed to escape them and drove away but my advice, especially for young ladies is never to accept any drink from someone you don’t know unless you are there the moment of the order/delivery of the drink and never leave your drink unatented.