education

J

The Topsy and Tim children stories CD has an episode on firefighters. At one point, they discuss whether women can do it. The answer given is, in substance “yes, but they must be as physically fit as the men”. Credit where it’s due: this makes the point that firefighting is a potential career for women. But there is an insidiously (albeit probably unintentionally) sexist message: that men are the point of reference. A woman applying to be a firefighter will have to prove something more than a man would, namely that she is as good as a man. Furthermore, a male firefighter is completely normal; a female firefighter not somuch. So a woman applying to be a firefighter would be trying to go out of the comfort zone of social norms. Not everyone is a born rebel, so this can deter women. A much better way of presenting this would have been to say that there are physical fitness requirements, which all applicants, regardless of gender (or indeed anything else), have to meet. The difference may sound subtle, but it matters. None of this affects me directly: I am unlikely to ever become a firefighter (or indeed a woman). But my 4 year old daughter has been listening to that story…

Angry

During lectures, my Comparative Political Systems professor talks at length about male leaders of different countries, going so far as to list unnecessary personal details about their upbringing and hobbies. The first time he mentioned a woman was last week, more than halfway through the semester. He talked about the wife of one of the political leaders… well, more specifically, he showed a bunch of pictures of her, saying that her clothing demonstrated how that country’s culture is changing. To make matters worse, he kept making comments about how “pretty” she was. I am incredibly frustrated and saddened by this because I generally think that my professor is intelligent and knowledgeable about the material he teaches; however, I’m having trouble reconciling that with this disgusting behavior.

Hannah

I found a post and shared it on my timeline on facebook, about women witnessing and protecting other women (strangers) in vulnerable situations. Just a basic, look out for your sisters post. It was quite heartfelt and reminded me of several times I have been accosted whilst vulnerable. A male friend of mine, who has previously denounced feminism as a way to divide the sexes and that we should care for all vulnerable people. GRAND. except, feminism is not about dividing, it is about existing, in fairness and the sad fact that we as women still have a long way to go to achieve this. And anyway my post was about vulnerable women, so why try and take the importance of that away,it’s just another way to undermine women and their struggles. This hurt, upset and angered me. But aside from his rude and harmful comments I had been thinking in regard to the post I had shared of all the times i had been placed in a vulnerable position by men, and myself and a friend sat down And actually listed them all out. And what I wrote down shocked and devastated me. These are all the examples and ages that I have been assaulted or accosted in my life (this post does have a point to end with!) 12. Legs felt up, trying to look under my bedsheets at me in my underwear 14. Sexually assaulted 14. Attempted sexual assault 15. Raped 15. Flashed in my school uniform 18. Woken up to being groped while asleep 18/19. Pressured for sex by my boyfriend 1+ year 22. Public sexual assault, reported to police, in the newspaper. Nothing came of it 24. Consistently ogled while getting changed, (walked in ‘by accident’ several times, by close male friend) 30. Followed home down a dark street, by a male on a tram who noticed me three stops before mine, had to hide behind a truck as he searched for me. Stayed awake in my house alone all night terrified. Ages 12-32 verbal sexual harrassment, leers, sexual comments My point is this. I MYSELF had not realised how utterly fucked up this is is. It’s only sitting down and looking at it in black and white that I begin to understand how bad it is when it comes to sexism and what is accepted by society or #everydaysexism, when someone I consider a friend of ten plus years who I thought was a decent person, can come on my post and belittle my experiences and my simple wish that women need to look out for other women in vulnerable or even everyday situations then how far have we still got to go? The answer is VERY FAR. But it starts with or continues with women, feminists and our allies speaking out about this, confronting bad attitudes and outright abuse, sharing our experiences and saying NO I will not stand for this. By educating our children and teaching consent, by calling out the media who use us as sex objects. We must continue the fight. I have blocked and deleted this person and told them in no uncertain terms what they did was wrong and I have no place for it in my life however long our history

R

A few days ago, there was a protest in my city against rape culture. It had been organized by two high school girls, after an incident involving several high school boys (from an all-boys school), in which they had made frankly terrifying and degrading remarks about certain female teachers at the school along with women in general. I attended this protest, which was held in front of our country’s parliament, as so many are. As you can imagine, there were plenty of members of the press there, along with what I imagine were freelance photographers. It appeared on the news that night, as a main story. Here I am, two days later, seeing online articles being published. And the backlash is just horrifying. The newest headline, and I quote, is “Consent education isn’t an attack on boys”. Which is correct, of course. But even this statement is apparently too harsh, even in light of the events that sparked this protest in the first place. I used to think my country was at least a little more progressive than some, but my faith in my own people is seriously dwindling. I’ve seen grown men whining about how they’re “always going to be the rapist”, when it comes to a drunken encounter with an equally-drunken girl. I’ve seen people claiming that we need to tighten our alcohol laws, bear down more on parents when it comes to responsibility, and every excuse in between. Of course, being sober and having responsible parents didn’t help when I was pinned to that bed, silently weeping and sincerely praying for the first time in my life, that I might get out of that room unhurt. Fuck this world. I can’t deal with it anymore.

Erin

One of my son’s favorite books is a cute little board book about toddlers pretending to be superheroes. Of course, all these superheroes are boys. I pulled out my sharpie and changed one page from “he” to “she” so at least there’s one girl represented.

Olivia

I babysit three children every friday, but I rarely see the older sister, so mostly it’s just two boys. They fight quite often, and almost evrytime, to anger his little brother, the older one would call him “she”, and generally speak to him as if he was a girl, like “oh, she’s afraid !”. It’s not been going on for a long time, but I’m trying to think of a way to make him understand that being a girl should not be an insult.

Anon

I used to work in FE, in a customer service/admin-type role. One of the duties was assisting members of the public and/or enrolled students, who would drop in with enquiries. Another task of the department was to assess applicants’ levels of literacy and numeracy. Certain staff had much more interaction with the public front-line than others (who would be in a side office doing admin, or, lets be realistic,skiving). Over time, I became increasingly aware of some front line staff (usually male, but not exclusively) calling male colleagues from the side office area to come and deal with an ‘assessment’. I found this strange as it was not part of their duties to cover the assessments, but thought nothing more of it. Then, at a Christmas team lunch, one of the team had compiled a ‘fun’ quiz about the team/college. One of the questions was “what does assessment mean?”. I was shocked to learn that it was a code word used to call male staff to the public area, to gawp at / ogle younger female students & members of the public (who were deemed to be ‘fit’ or ‘hot’). Apparently this was an open secret and had gone on for some time. There were line managers and departmental managers (male and female) present at the lunch. No official action was taken! I tried to raise it, but was told I didn’t have any written proof and therefore that I was putting in false complaints against male colleagues. In addition, the ID numbers of ‘fit’ female students were emailed around male staff every so often, so they could check out the online ID photos and timetables, to see when the student/s were due in college. Certain male staff would then hang around the entrance to try and see the student arrive or leave. And all this took place in a publicly-funded FE college, supposedly a place of equality, learning and improving the mind. Shocking!

Eva

I am 11. Me and my brother’s electronics kit says the company also has a “funky fashion kit for girls”! GRRR!!!

IT-girl

I am from a very traditional country. The majority of women in my country marry in very early age (18-22) and stop their development. The big persentage of domestic violence. The women’s salary is much more less than men’s. And I began to study programming. And also I wanna delay my marriage till 30 when I will be a good programmer. OMG! What people are telling to me! They are telling I wil regret about my decision. That programming is for men only. That nobody marry me if I am good in Math. That I should look for a good husband coz when I am 25 it’s so late. That God gave a women a gift to be mother and wife and I shouldn’t want more. That women are made by God only for men. That if I have no children in 27, I am unnormal. Media from my country are telling like that and my University teachers. And boys I am studying programming with don’t appreciate my achievement coz I am a girl. I know many girls who couldn’t find a good high tech job in my country. Who couldn’t build any career in it. If a girl goes through IT-company, men are joking about her disability in programming. One IT-college in my country refused to enroll girls coz of their gender. Thanks God, my country has the high level of tech education. So, it will let me to go to Europe or America just after my Uni. I know there are many sexism in this countries, but it’s nothing comparing sexism in mine. Thank u.

ash

boy in our school said women were stupid and didnt deserve equality because ‘all the influential people in this world are men’ and therefore women couldnt do anything bc we had been discriminated against