Tag Archives: family

Brother told me feminism is cancer

Today I received an unprovoked email from my brother addressed to my sister and me and sent to the whole family where he declares he is cutting all ties with us because we are “infected by the cancer that is feminism” and “hate every male [we] meet.” I am happily married to a man and the majority of my friends happen to be (feminist) men. He goes on to blame our feminist behavior on our parents for having raised “bad kids.” The saddest part: my brother has two young daughters.

Pissed-off with stereotypes

My brother, who I need to say, I love very much, constantly reminds me about something I don’t need to do. If my family is going out, he will come into my bedroom and tell me that I have, lets say 15 minutes to get ready. And that hopefully that is enough time. I am 14, I am capable of getting ready to go out to dinner in less than fifteen minutes. I don’t need to impress anyone, so why do people expect that a girl always needs an hour to get ready? My aunts don’t help the situation either. One of them who was visiting, had me help her with looking after her grandkids, my second cousins. I was helping my little cousin out of the swimming pool at the hotel they were staying at and when I get up and head over to the chairs where all of our stuff is, she looks at me and says “You have an amazing figure. I’ll be willing to bet that you have all of the guys at your disposal. Like what am I? A self absorbed, girly girl who likes dressing up in heels? No, I am an athletic girl who loves books more than clothing. A girl who story plots to pushing up my breasts. But nobody seems to understand. This is why I decided to put this on the site. I am fed-up of getting called a ‘bimbo’ and other names that make me want to scream.

Gabriela

When I was 9, my older brother abused me. I was in the couch he just sat next to me and touch me, that was the first time. He did it like 4 times. I forgot about it since I was little but out of nowhere I remembered after watching a movie. Now I feel hate towards him. I have 17 now and he has 25. I have been crying everday I feel sad, like he took something from me and I feel used. I meant to tell my mom but she isn’t going to believe me and I will be so humiliated. My life is hell right now.

nandy

When I was nine years old I fell asleep in a car with my uncle and his two daughters,I happened to be next to my uncle and he groped me and touched my butt. I immediately separated from him and he acted as if anything ever happened,stepping out of the car I was so sure I was going to be able to tell my mom but I just couldn’t I froze cause at the end of the day it was a childs word against a grown man’s word. It’s been 10 years and I haven’t been able to say it to my mom and I have just started to share this story so it can stop choking me at nights.

Melissa

I’m a bookworm, and anyone who knows me knows this fact, but this Hanukkah I was very disappointed with my presents. I got clothes and money from my relatives. My male cousin who is nowhere near as much of a reader? Almost all his presents were books. Gee, thanks relatives, I really wanted CLOTHES that you all picked out, meaning stuff I never wear. Seriously, all you had to do is ask my mom what I like, you’re relatives. Or just give me the goddamn money, if you really don’t understand my tastes. I would have loved to get those books 🙁

Lorna

I told my father in law that when my husband and I have children, the plan is for him to my husband be a stay at home Dad, and for me to return to work full time. He laughed in my face, and said “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Iponea

So, imagine my horror when my fairly-new-boyfriend announces to his (older-than-us) female relatives on our first meeting that I’m “not planning on changing my surname” if I get married. It’s true, but that’s not something you traditionally trot out the first time you introduce someone to your siblings/family… Check first sexism issue: mine, not theirs. They were all pretty relaxed about the idea. I was​ mortified that it had been mentioned. Skip back to me as a teen. I’m the oldest of several (all girls except for the youngest) and very independent. My father and I were having a chat and he mentioned that he was a bit rueful that only my brother would pass on the family name. My response was “what makes you think I’m ever going to change my name?” My father looked surprised but pleasently so. Nothing was ever really said about it again. I don’t think it needed to be. Several years later I then get engaged to the same boyfriend. The same female members of his family suddenly start taking about how I’ll need to practice my new signature. I try to remind them that I’m not changing my surname and they all ignore me and talk over me…

O.

I am from Eastern Europe n I am 21. I study programming and want to work in an IT-company. Progressive boys are so rare things here so I didn’t want to marry in my motherland, I wanted to get a working visa in the West and find a husband there. But was so glad when I met one guy. He told me he likes me coz I am independent (as a rule, boys here don’t like strong girls), he told he likes the power inside of me. He supported many of my odd-for-our-common-cuture opinions and he supported my career n study. I thought I found a real feminist. I promised him to be his wife after the University n we even had sex. If u think I want to show off u r mistaken. Situation started to change so rapidly. He started to tell me his mom wants a baby (both of us r students without job). He wants me to change my clothes. He is jeavelous as hell but attends dating sites himself. He tells me if I have no job I have to serve him. But it is so hard to find an IT-job for a woman in such a traditional place like mine n he knows it! He wants me to refuse my IT-ambitions. He asks my fb password. I am not sure what to do. It is so difficult to break up coz I already know his family n he knows mine. And I still love him anyway. I really don’t know what to do.

Claire

I love my dad and have always felt supported by him so I was very saddened to hear him calmly explain to me recently that the reason women don’t play snooker is because “our arms don’t move like mens and our boobs would get in the way”. I tried to explain to him it was due to ingrained sexism preventing women feeling comfortable entering snooker clubs, leaning over tables to be potentially leered at and the burden of history of a sport that originated in gentlemens clubs. He just scoffed at me. My mum was thrown out of a pub in the 1970’s for refusing to stop playing pool with a female friend.