Lisa from liberal Ann Arbor MI
July 2016, evening conversation at restaurant Cardomon with Husband (H), Sister-in-law (S), Brother-in-law (B), and me (L) and it went very closely like this. H: Nephew has a summer job at Kroger’s. B: Oh yeah? H: He’s in the Produce L : Bet he’s happy about that, given he wants to go to culinary school. S: You had a summer job at a grocer? H (intending to be humorous and that male-bonding thing): Yeah, so I told him he should transfer into the Meat. L; Why? H: Because when the women are in the locker their nipples get cold and it’s a good show. L (suddenly finding my firm parental voice I haven’t used in years): That’s misogyny! How dare you teach the next generation that shit. That shit has got to die out with the misogynists. our guests are not quiet and wide-eyed H: I am not a misogynist. I hire women. L: You are. This is an example of how it lives within you. H: Keep your voice down. Others will hear you. L: You need to undo the damage you have done. You need to tell Nephew, when you see him tomorrow, that you were wrong. H (to his Brother): I apologize for Lisa– L (interrupting): You do not need to apologize for me. You need to apologize to our Daughters, to our Nieces. H: You are out of line. You could tell your different take in private. L: I am addressing an aggressive attack on women. You were out of line. And I don’t have to wait. You chose to use this shit as public entertainment. Well, things did not get resolved. I am likely a non-person in his family now. Husband refuses to socialize with me, because “I might embarrass him again” still a year later. Frankly, that is preferable than being shut-down. I socialize elsewhere happily. Well,