I am a 19 year old uni student who has always identified as a feminist and I have just had an argument with a potential male partner. However after I stated that I did not like his behavior. he sent me a message stating ‘ BLAME ME how very girlish of you, so typical.’ I than pulled him out for this statement and stated that not all women are the same so dont ever blame my behavior on a sexiest generalization of my sex. I was told that I was adding details, it was just generalizing not sexiest and that I was seeing what I wanted to see and I was starting arguments out of nothing. We have ended as friends but I feel so angry that my point was not taken seriously because he did not understand his comment or understand its implications. All I wanted was a acceptance that It was not an okay thing to say and for him to understand. However even in Uni, if you pull one man up for one comment I am starting arguments out of nothing and I am adding things ! I am not adding. I am explaining the sub text of his message and what it implies. It may not hurt me or be a direct sexiest comment towards me but those generalizations mean I was not taken seriously because I am a women. If I dont call him up, no one will !
I need feminism because when I was 4, we learned the colours. After class, a group of boys came up to me and asked what my favourite colour was. I said “blue” and and one of them replied, “you can’t like blue, it’s a boy colour”. Upon telling him that my dad’s favourite colour was purple, I was told, “your dad must be a girl then”. I didn’t tell my dad because I thought that being compared to a girl would upset him too much. My dad is a feminist. I need feminism because when I was 13, my class worked on a project with NATS AIS. In the final stage of the competition, I was transferred into a group with 6 boys ‘for representation’. As project manager of my last team, I assumed that I’d have some creative input and delegation opportunities. I was put on research with a guy who played 2048 the whole time but still took full credit for the work I did. One lesson, the project manager was away so I took it upon myself to show some initiative and start the PowerPoint presentation. The next day, it had been deleted without a thought and a new one was being made; it was exactly the same but grammatically incorrect. When I tried to argue, I was called bossy and told to ‘get back in the kitchen or wherever [I was] supposed to be’. I need feminism because I saw the bewildered look on Harvey’s face when I did better than him on a physics test., despite the fact that I had beaten him on every science test beforehand. He used to call me dumb every lesson, still does. He just can’t believe that a somewhat attractive girl has the capacity to be good at science. Or maybe his ego’s just big. I need feminism because a girl I go to school with got raped by a boy in our year. For three weeks leading up to the event, she had reported him to the school 6 times for touching her inappropriately in class, she even had witnesses. He got a ‘serious talking to’ and nothing more. He wasn’t even moved away from her in class. She came into school crying and she stopped talking for a few days. One of our mutual friends got really mad at her for ‘being over-dramatic and complaining too much’. When I got angry at this, she said “well if it had been me, I would’ve just told him to stop and kicked him in the balls’. I had no words.
I am disappointed in the country’s choice of a new president, and ever since the election, I am outspoken about it. Without resorting to false information, memes, and name-calling, I make intelligent researched arguments on the topic. However, posting on social media draws a host of men who attack me as a woman to knock me off course or attempt to upset me with creepy comments. One man told me he wanted to “collect my tears and drink them,” or perhaps he could just “lick my face.” Another man, in an attempt to be derogatory, said, “you must be one of those feminists,” and that he “should have known there would be alligators in the water.” His fiend told him to stop attacking me because I am “super hot.” Since the election, I have heard every kind of screwed up opinion on reproductive rights. I spoke out to someone on this, and he told me, “because I like you, we’ll deport you last.” I am angry that women’s voices are dismissed repeatedly as unimportant, whiny, or irrelevant, and the only way for a woman to merit respect is to be “super hot.”
on a school trip i had brought lots of my favourite clothes that i wanted to waer while away, i was especially looking forward to wearing a lacy black top. however when I put it on to wear one day, when i asked other girls what they thought of it they all said it was ‘too slutty’ and that i would look like the ‘slutty’ girls in our year. because they had said this i lost lots of confidence and didn’t wear my favourite top bc other people were telling me that wearing something revealing is instantly giving off the wrong message — when the thing that’s actually wrong is people sexualising a 13 yo girl’s clothes. now im sure the girls arent sexist, many of my freind in the group say they agree with feminism, but still. i think that what happened was sexist because it made my own choice about my own body into something inherently sexual and that would distract boys.
I’m called a “femi-nazi” at least once a week. I just want to be seen and treated as equal.