gaming

codename17i

im a 13 year old girl from the UK and i play a few online video games and i enjoy this very much, socialising etc. but way too often people tell me to ‘go back to the kitchen’ and ‘cook them a sandwich’ i get the occasional ‘send nudes’ and if i reply then im a bitch, im a slut, im a whore. if im in arguments people have told me theyll rape me – all types of men, from a 10 year old sounding kid telling me to wash his dishes because im a girl to multiple male adults who think i sound like 17 so they can argue with me for context 90% percent of people have told me i sound fifteen but people still make disgusting remarks and often you come across a sexist who thinks theyre funny. this happens the odd few days. the worst someone has told me is that at my friends funeral (who is a boy) they will put my dead body in a corner and get people to rape me. the moderation in some games is bullshit so the guy who told me that is still online sometimes. even between people who are nice to me they pass off as a funny joke ‘woman go back to the kitchen make me a sandwich go clean show me ur tits.’ not funny at all? or when i would go to chatrooms online if the place is male dominated they would be creepy or sexist. they will ALWAYS treat me differently when they find out im a girl in games chatrooms everywhere online – automatically , im unfunny, bitchy, not behaving like a girl, often get the insult ‘youre probably flat’ from men who act like they have the hugest tits on the earth like, man shut up. if i get into an argument, my argument is always invalid and im not giving smart comebacks because im just being a girl im not funny or clever. but when a MAN says it, he is so funny and clever he is absolutely destroying this bitch. i have too many experiences to name but seriously, theres always those men who say ‘equal rights, equal fights’ ‘i can punch a woman’ equal rights when? the world is still PRETTY sexist for 2022. hope this changes soon.

Beth

For Christmas, I got some new games for my Nintendo switch. One of the games (Super Mario Bros) only has one option to play as a female character AND it’s the character labelled “easier” and of course she’s pink. There are 3 other male characters to play as but if you want to play as a girl you must naturally be bad at games so you need the easier version. Then one of the other games (The Legend of Zelda) just gives you no choice whatsoever. You have to play as a male character with male pronouns use a lot and there’s no option to change this. The character already looks gender neutral so the idea they gendered the character is really mind-blowing to me. I couldn’t get into either game shockingly and was just so appalled by what this says to young girls playing these games.

Kelly

My husband and I went to a game shop to play Magic The Gathering. It’s one he’s been to a few times, but I hadn’t been to before. Some of the guys acknowledged my husband as we walked in, but ignored me. We sat down and started fiddling with our decks before the tournament started. One of a group of guys from the next table over asked “Did you bring your Commander deck?” My husband said “No,” but I said “I have a commander deck!” The guys just looked disappointed and went back to what they were doing, and didn’t respond to me at all. When the tournament actually started, I did really well against my first opponent. Towards the end of that round, I mentioned that I’d need to use the restroom when we were done. As soon as I killed him, he jumped up and went to the bathroom. I waited for him to finish, and then went in after him. He had peed all over the seat and floor. Not accidentally.. one could only spray pee so far accidentally if they were having a seizure. So before I could pee, I had to wipe up the bathroom. I haven’t been back to that game shop since.

anon

Witnessed subtle sexism. My male friend has girlfriend in the xbox live party. He put her into a game that she had never played and left her in the lobby confused and eventually disgruntled. He seemed oblivious that putting her in a game she had never played may be setting her up to fail. She was expected to play his game as a tagalong not a true participant. This happens a lot on xbox. Some guys (even with gamers like me who play a lot) either assume that you cannot play or tell you just to stay at the back. In GTA if you play as a female character you are stalked and harrassed repeatedly and it’s assumed that you cannot play. A lot of guys seem to expect their girlfriends to want to watch them play but don’t include them in playing and if their girlfriend is not a gamer they laugh at them failing in games they have never played.

Anon, 33

I play on Xbox live to relax in the evenings but there is this one guy who is married and in his forties that keeps making sexual comments. He totally humiliated me tonight by joking that I would perform a sex act on another person in the party. I felt so embarrassed and stupid and degraded even though he seemed to think it was funny. He has previously circled around me female avatar saying ‘nice tits’, ‘nice ass’ and making noises of approval even though I’ve made it clear that I’m not happy with it. People seem to think it’s just banter but it’s really not okay.

T

Every day I go on Xbox live in the evening and talk with a couple of good male friends. But every day a couple of other males in their 40’s join in the party briefly, hijack it with singing and constant wisecracks and as the only girl they always direct 99% of their jokes to me and make them as sexual as possible. They make sexual jokes about their wives and tell me personal stuff and ask me personal questions and though I hold my own, I often appear offline to avoid them and get fed up with it. Unfortunately because they are considered jokes, I have to ignore them or get socially excluded for being too sensitive.

Anon

Today on xbox live my friends step-dad l, who is 47 was really nasty to me. Everytime he is in the party he is really demeaning and everytime I speak he puts down what I say pretending he is joking. I called him on it and began to answer back because he was being really cruel. At one point he said women aren’t allowed opinions despite all of his opinions being the most judgemental opinions I’ve ever heard. I wasn’t sure whether to report it but then I realised that this wasn’t acceptable behaviour and that if I do nothing about it he wins and gets to continue his behaviour. I’m 33 and have a high IQ but men continually down talk to me and treat me like I’m a child who knows nothing. It’s really frustrating and I feel on games people often seem to act is I’m to blame for our team losing even though everyone else is about the same skill level as me. I’m tired of my opinion being treated as silly because I’m a girl. Many men I meet always seem to treat me as if my opinion is not valid at all and just theirs and I’m truly tired of it. I’m tired of men lecturing me and trying to teach me stuff I already know. I read a lot and even and English degree but yet apparently I’m always to be ‘taught’ their opinion. I know that there are many decent men out there. I know lots of men who aren’t like this but it happens to me so often and they often make jokes that are extremely sexual, uncomfortable and demeaning that take away any chance of me being taken seriously.

Oliver*

In a GAME store, I asked for Fallout 4, the cashier guessed I was *AFAB muttered some drivel about women and the Sims and then refused to serve me.