Tag Archives: harassment

Kim

I have my dog who I love dearly, and I walk him around my block every day because my mom thinks it’s “safe.” I usually wear sweatpants and a t shirt. Nothing fits me tight or is revealing. But every time I go to walk them I get catcalled at least once. It never got farther than that, until a few weeks ago. I was walking my dog and we stopped because this man has a dog about the same age and they both seemed to get along. He seemed friendly and we just stood there when we started talking about the dogs. They were simple things like the breed, the dog food they eat, their age, and so on. He was slowly coming closer to me, and I soon became uncomfortable. So I called my dog and told him it was time to go, and we started walking home. We were walking down the sidewalk when he caught up to me and told me that he was going the same way, and I knew he was lying because we were going in opposite directions. I just nodded my head and continued walking when his hand reached for my butt. He grabbed it like it was nothing. That was when I told him to back off. He told me that I was making a fuss out of nothing and he went to grab my breasts. I tried to run, but I couldn’t get away seeing as he was much bigger than I was. My dog saw that I was trying to get away, and he started to bark. The people who lived in the house we were by looked out the window and saw what was going on and came out as well. Thankfully it was a woman and she told him to back off or she was going to call the cops. She asked me of I was okay and offered to walk me home. She walked me home, and luckily didn’t tell my parents what happened. Ever since then I have refused to walk him anymore. My brother is the one who walks him now. I’m only 13 years old.

Even young boys…

When I was 15, I spent a lot of time at my high school boyfriend’s house because I liked him, his mom was nice to me, and I hated my own house. Over time I started to feel more and more uncomfortable, for a reason I didn’t even understand at first. It wasn’t my boyfriend who was a year older than me… it was his LITTLE brother. The brother might have been 10 years old when my boyfriend and I first got together. This kid wasn’t an angel to begin (huge Grand Theft Auto fan and swore more in a week than I had in my life) with, but over the next two years he became a total creep. This kid would pretend to jerk off towards me. A quick hand thrusting, followed by a hand explosion. He did this thing, towards me, nearly EVERYDAY. It wasn’t even like a secret thing. It was just thing he did, like the way some people use a lot of hand expressions when they talk. And there could be 3 other people in the room and he would still do it. He would walk by, stop, do it, and walk away. Or end a conversation that way. At first I ignored it. Or laughed it off. After all, he was just a kid. But he got older, and I got older, and I started to understand how gross and wrong it was. Eventually, after at least a whole year of this, I called up my boyfriend and tried to explain to him my feelings. At first he tried to say it was nothing. Then I burst into tears, told him it was sexual harassment, and I would breakup with him if he didn’t make is brother stop. He did make his brother stop, who proceeded to be more of a jerk in less offensive ways. I’m 27 years old now, and I still can’t forget how disturbing it was.

Christine

I grew up in Cyprus and sexism is extremely common there. Cases of sexual harassment often go unnoticed, and even if reported, not much will be done. My boss is a top architect in the country and he would blow kisses at me when I was leaving the office, call me darling and ask me to pick up his kids from school. I’m a qualified architect. His wife said I look like a “russian” (Cypriot for slut) and said I make easy money. In such a sexist environment you see, women often target women, since the man is never to blame.

Carol

When I was at secondary school, around 13-14, there was a group of boys who used to tease me in class by telling me that I was beautiful, making kissing gestures and noises, and even went so far as to write a song about me and get it played on local radio (thanks, DJ). I understood that this was because I was so disgusting to them as to be funny. One time, they waited for me after school, grabbed me, and took it in terms to rub themselves against me, while singing the song they had written. I told nobody, because, as I say, I’d internalised the blame (but I did land some punches). Something reminded me of this the other day, and I Googled the one name that I remember. Turns out he’s been put on the UK sex offenders register. So much for “just a bit of fun”.

Roo

Stalked around Sparkbrook for at least half an hour by a man with yellow teeth, beard, tracksuit bottoms. Starts by making kissy noises at me, then follows me silently from the residential roads to the main road. Can see him in shop windows as I go. As I wait to cross Highgate road he stands beside me on the pavement. I turn to him and say, “You alright there?” because I don’t want him to think I’m scared. He follows me to the garage, then back up Ladypool road. I go into Raj’s grocery store and stay for twenty minutes until he is gone.

Anne

I have a modestly successful YouTube account for Disney fan videos, and a Facebook page to accompany it. All today I’ve been getting messages on the Facebook page from someone who calls themselves Donna, although their profile says Jacob and they claim Jacob is their brother. But then I started getting messages from “Jacob” himself, under another profile, and he started telling me to text him, call him, etc. and eventually said he wanted to “give my butt a slap.” I immediately blocked him – both profiles, as I am no longer sure if I was actually talking to a girl named Donna. I also blocked them on YouTube to ensure my own safety. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t create more profiles and continue to harass me, especially since reporting doesn’t do much good.

Nadine

I work as a cashier, and an older customer was persistent in “going for coffee, ” that he finagled his way into my phone with his number. He tried to tell me it would be our little secret. I promptly told the store manager, to which I didn’t feel I got much support from her. I never saw the customer again, as I deleted his number off my phone. Another incident with a different customer–I’m working the register when he walks by. As he is going by he grabs me. I yelled at him to stop. When he came to pay, I told him it was inappropriate to do what he did. He did apologize, but I took it with a grain of salt.

anon, via email

As a woman with large breasts i get cat called a lot. I have to go out of my way to pick an outfit that doesn’t make it look like i have big boobs. I get cat called so often when i walk around town that i made a highscore system for the most times i get called or my boobs get stared at (i consider staring more than 5 seconds), the highscore is 23 times in a 20 minute walk from one end to the other of town. I look dead at the guys eyes and they don’t even know I’m looking at them because their eyes are somewhere else. I get horns beeped at me and calls out the window and whistles. Words like “nice tits”, “dammn”. I think the staring bothers me the most. Once in Tesco i snapped because one guy stared directly at my breasts and smirking too. As i walked towards him his eyes not not shift. I walked straight up to him and asked what his fucking problem is and he still smiled and stared so i asked again then heard security behind me. They removed me from the store even though i explained what happened they didn’t care. Now when you have large breasts covering them just isn’t enough if i wear a turtle neck jumper u can still notice the girls. (Not that I should have to wear a high cut top anyway).

Jana W

When I was abou 13-14 years old, I remember, a friend of our family and actually my sister’s godfather, started “coming over” quite a lot. It was just like him visiting us and chatting drinking coffee with my mim and myself, who were usually at home (after school). He himself had a daughter and a son, quite closed to my age. So, He started coming over for nearly everyday and was everytime very interested in what I was doing. So interested that my Moment was Wanderung why eh came over so much and why eh was so interested in me. He wouldnt stop asking me questions like “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” or “i would Understand why the boys Must like you” or would comment about my apperance, my eye-liner or something else. One time he even commented about my tits (“oh you have big tits for your age, good for you, I’ve Heard men/boys Must like that.”) next to my mum (she Said nothing in response). I also Never knew how to respond to that. Also, when i was Reading a magazine for teenagers (called “BRAVO”), which everybody read at my age, he Flickend through it and showed me the Pages of a naked Boy and girl (“Dr. Sommer” would answer to questions about the body) and making commented about them. It made me Feel very uncomfortable and i didn’t want him to come over and be always at our home anymore, but on the other side i couldn’t go anywhere else, which made me feel trapped and I didn’t say anything because I felt ashamed and didn’t Know if that behaviour was right or wrong. So in the end my mum Asked him about it and he confessed he had crush on me (or something like that) and wouldn’t come over anymore. My sister was very sad, because he was very nice (like you are actually to a child) to her and I felt very guilty about it. I felt like i destroyed a family’s friendship. I can say after that I was seriously scared about men and didn’t want anything to do with them for a long time. I didn’t Tell my sister anything, until she was 18.

Just Doing My Job

Part of my financial aid for university allowed me to work at a library on my college campus. I got the job as soon as I enrolled and within five a weeks a young man came up to my desk and informed me that he had seen me there several times and wanted to talk to me. I think, okay not too bad, but now that I knew he was there, I start seeing him stare at me from across the building. He wouldn’t say anything, just stare until he came up to me and then he’d compliment whatever necklace or shirt I had on, but he wouldn’t be looking at my accessories. Then he started to appear outside my gym whenever I’d finished exercising or follow me into restaurants. I told myself it was a small college town, this was bound to happen, even as he started appearing outside my classes, pacing back and forth in the hallways. My coworkers and boss started to notice he would come up to my desk and stand over it, staring down my shirt and mumbling to himself. They started to find things for me to do to stay away from him, but they asked that I report it and I thought he was just a harmless, unusual creepy, individual, perhaps with some sort of social disability or anxiety. The stress was piling up, I started taking self defense lessons, but seeing him everywhere staring and following me was eating away at my mental health. I started having nightmares, didn’t want to leave my room and was physically ill. The day I finally reported him he followed me back to my building in nearly a full tilt run, thankfully I had a friend with me who called the police, but the police told me there was nothing they could do other than if I called them when he was ogling me at work, they could tell him to stop staring. It was only after I called my father in tears, who when he called the police only then did they agree to make an incident report of him following me home. My boss and I filed the paperwork for a no contact order the next day, but it only keeps him twenty feet away from me, and he can still stare at me from across the room at work so long as he initiates no contact when I’m just trying to do my job. I keep up with my martial arts and I keep working, but I can’t wait to graduate and get away from him.