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Christina Nee

My teenage brother makes constant “jokes” around the house about women cooking, multi-tasking, and other blatantly stereotypical, sexist topics. He isn’t a bad guy in any sense of the word, and I love him completely. But it is clearly seen as the norm for young men these days to engage in this everyday sexism, even at school age. When challenged, he doesn’t see the harm in it and tells me to “take a joke” – how can society move forwards when the young men of the future are growing up in a culture of underlying sexism? I don’t blame him yet, he is young and will learn… it is up to society to educate the next generation about the ramifications of such harmless “jokes”.

C.S

My teenage brother makes constant “jokes” around the house about women cooking, multi-tasking, and other blatantly stereotypical, sexist topics. He isn’t a bad guy in any sense of the word, and I love him completely. But it is clearly seen as the norm for young men these days to engage in this everyday sexism, even at school age. When challenged, he doesn’t see the harm in it and tells me to “take a joke” – how can society move forwards when the young men of the future are growing up in a culture of underlying sexism?

Anonymous

My mother had a car accident the other day with my dads new car. He made the comment ‘all women can’t drive’ and ‘this is why they shouldn’t drive’ – it made me really mad that my mum didn’t say anything so I said ‘that is like saying men can’t cook’ and he got really triggered because he is a chef himself.

Not ok

Two of my female friends have been dumped at the last minute by boyfriends after several years who they thought were going to marry them because they were the “wrong” aka a different religion. Neither of the men were practising that religion but marriage might bring children so suddenly the child has to follow dads tribe even though dad is a closet atheist…. hmmm… I have also heard men and seen online conversations between men egging each other on, telling each other it’s great to have sex with women of a different religion or ethnicity but not ok to marry them. You practise on the woman from the other tribe then marry a virgin from your religion. Basically lead them on for a few years get loads of sex then marry a “real” woman from your religion or ethnic group. Never heard women egg each other on like this. Women are often much slower to get involved with a man from different religion because of community shaming (of the woman usually more than the man)but they don’t encourage each other to “shag and dump” having previously given no clue that it’s a problem. Nor have I ever seen women tell each other that they must marry a virgin male even though many would prefer it. We’re not supposed to ask. Woman shaming and woman using. Not noticed it much the other way round, although there was one exception where a non practising “Christian” aka white man was treated like dirt by a Hindu family – he made a big effort to fit in but just wasn’t Hindu. They disowned their daughter and he was thought to have “stolen her.” Seems they didn’t credit her with her own brain…. Really getting married shouldn’t be seen as the mans tribe taking over, children can go to different faith groups and learn both, but above all – encouraging your mates to pump and dump “inferior” females is not ok.

Ace

My dad’s constant sexist remarks about women, and his urging me to go and get pregnant are the reason I think I’m asexual? I burst into tears everytime the conversation topic comes up, and he still doesn’t get what the problem is.

Student

Minor instance of what I believe to be sexism from a friend – today for example I said something he didn’t understand, instead of asking me what do you mean he turns to my other friend and just says ‘I don’t know what she’s talking about’ as if I am not there at all. I’m aware of how minor it sounds but it is the way he talks about me in the third person all the time as well as many other incidents of mansplaining and general patronisation that make me want to write here. He doesn’t act this way towards any of our male friends!

Winny

When I was pregnant, I was still in school. I was a country kid who went to school and came home and repeated. I was VERY innocent in those days. The first question I, and the father, were asked by several people was “is it his (the fathers)?”. First question, no problem or shame from the people asking. Because that’s an appropriate thing to ask anyone who’s pregnant or expecting, nevermind a teenager (child)!

India

India’s government is advising pregnant women to avoid all meat, eggs and lustful thoughts. Doctors say the advice is preposterous, and even dangerous, considering India’s already poor record with maternal health. Women are often the last to eat or receive health care in traditionally patriarchal Indian households. Malnutrition and anaemia, or iron deficiency, are key factors behind India having one of the world’s highest rates of maternal mortality, with 174 of every 100,000 pregnancies resulting in the mother’s death in 2015 “The government is doling out unscientific and irrational advice, instead of ensuring that poor pregnant women get to eat a nutritious, high-protein diet”.. The government booklet, titled Mother and Child Care ignored widely accepted medical evidence that pregnant women benefit from eating protein-rich meats and can safely engage in sex, doctors said. It says pregnant women should also shun “impure thoughts” and look at pictures of beautiful babies to benefit the foetus. “Pregnant women should detach themselves from desire, anger, attachment, hatred and lust,” reads the booklet, released last week by the Central Council for Research in Yoga and Naturopathy, a part of the government’s ministry that promotes traditional and alternative medicine.” Might be better for the world if males detached themselves from those things since they are the ones attacking everyone….

that woman

Can I add to the stories about men and bookcases? I’d forgotten about it until I read a couple of previous posts. My (now ex) OH and I both did our degrees with the OU at the same time. He did Literature, I did Maths and Science. We moved house, and books got shoved just anywhere as we unpacked the boxes. Finally I decided to sort them out into some sort of order. I put all of the OU course books on the same shelf. This made sense to me. Obviously he had a lot more books than I did, due to the subject matter of his course, so the shelf was mostly filled with his books, with mine at the end. When he got home from work, instead of some sort of appreciation of the work I’d done (we had a LOT of books), all he said was ‘Why have you put your books on my shelf?’ He was genuinely put-out that I’d (apparently) dared to put my books with his. It was all most peculiar.

kay

I’m only 13 years old, yet I experience sexism almost every day. I recently bought a new Adidas jacket, from the men’s section. I needed some new shoes, so I said to my mum that I really wanted the Adidas gazelles, and she told me that I couldn’t have them because they would make me look like a chav. I asked why, and she told me that I would look like a boy, and I can’t do that cause I’m a girl. I then asked if my brother would have asked for the same pair of shoes, with the jacket I had bought and she told me that it was unfair to spring the sexism thing on her. The next day at school, a teacher was talking about how much footballers get paid, that it isnt fair that they get to lie and cheat, act like girls.Later this day, football was brought up in class, when i raised my hand to add to the discussion, the teacher expected me to know nothing. These incidents are just three examples of what happens on a day to day basis.