hospital

Victoria

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I was admitted to hospital when I was 21 because I’d just been diagnosed with diabetes. I was very scared and upset and alone as I was at university. Whilst I was in a cubicle on my own in just a gown a youngish doctor came in and asked if I’d had a breast exam yet. I said no and he examined me and then went away without saying anything. I realised later that I’d been sexually assaulted but it was a good while after and I didn’t know his name. That was 26 years ago and I’m so angry about it still and wanted to write it down.

Penelope

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A male doctor told me I did not need antivirals I requested to treat the infection he diagnosed me with, despite me being a full-time wheelchair user. Subsequently went to a female doctor for a second opinion – they were prescribed within ten minutes.

Angela

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Went to the hospital in my wheelchair with my male friend pushing me. The male healthcare worker came out to get me, ignored me and said to my friend, “Can I take her now?” If I had been a young male in a wheelchair rather a woman, would I have been ignored? I suspect it is partially disableism but also sexism… I suspect the male healthcare worker saw my male friend as “in charge of me”, as I’m just a weak and delicate female obviously(!). We are very used to this sadly so my lovely friend always speaks up as a great advocate. So as well as hearing from him, the healthcare worker was also told by me to ask for the consent of the person in the wheelchair before grabbing them! He was not unpleasant but looked absolutely baffled by what I said.. In fact I had to tell him a second time before he understood what the issue was…

Abbie

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At around 12 or 13 I was going to the doctor for chronic back pain, and was told by the specialist consultant at the hospital that teenage girls didn’t know what pain was.

Isla

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I’ve worked as a doctor in the NHS for almost 2 years now. I’ve experienced a range of sexist attitudes from patients and fellow staff. A lot of male patients call me nurse despite us wearing different uniforms or having already introduced myself as Doctor, some ask when I get to become a real doctor (about 2 years ago when I graduated medical school I tell them). Other patients are more inappropriate, when kneeling to take blood an older male patient said ‘It’s been a while since I had a woman on her knees for me’, a younger male patient asked if I was into BDSM while I was performing a procedure for him. One man told me outright that men are better at taking blood samples than women (I then got the sample first time with no issues and asked if he would like to retract his statement). A male patient masturbated while I place an IV line – I was horrified and realised I was extremely vulnerable being alone in a room with him. Thankfully my (female) senior was supportive, the male head of department said ‘it must feel awful, it’s not like you’ve been dragged into a bush and raped or anything but it must feel really bad’. A male surgeon told my colleague she shouldn’t pursue surgery because who would look after her children while her husband was at work.

Georgie

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When I was in Year Six at school (aged 10-11) my male teacher would run his hand up my leg, watch me change, follow me into the loo and wrote in his notebook how he thought I was ‘pretty’. I didn’t like it at the time, but I didn’t really understand it, I just felt confused. Because of this, and several other triggers, aged 10 I developed anorexia nervosa, and had to be hospitalised when I was 11. I spent three months there, and had to be fed through a feeding tube. After that I was sent to an inpatient mental health unit, where sexism was rife as well. One patient would sing graphic sexual songs at me, and speak regularly about how he thought abortion should be illegal for all woman. Another couldn’t stop speaking about sex for three minutes (he was 12!) and wrote a story about a porn star called Secks E. Bitch, and her manager Mr. C*nt; he wrote very explicitly about her porn films. Because most people there were at high risk of self harm and suicide, staff had the access to bathrooms, but were not supposed to walk in on us unless we were in danger. However, one man used to walk in on me and one other female patient when changing or in the shower with no warning. Since being discharged nearly a year ago, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and made three suicide attempts, but I also am nearly fully recovered from my eating disorder, in therapy for trauma, and am content. What my teacher did shaped years of my life, and I am still processing it, but I am getting better.

Lavehl

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I have had several experiences but the I have two experiences that stand out the most. This is the first time I remember having such an experince but I had just turnt 13 but had ended up in the behavioral hospital due to depression. An out-patient, who was 17, told me that I was “fucking gorgeous and if I was a year older he’d fuck me.” Super uncomfortable. The 2nd time was more recent. I do a lot of bartending at the local family entertainment place and was closing one night (at 2am) with two other woman – both older than me. I had several men make comments about me and grabbing my arm whenever I gave them their drinks; them checking out my tattoo and trying to get my number. I’m uncomfortable but I joke around with them, hoping that they’ll calm it down. Now they’ve left because we’re technically close and we’ve finished up; the two older woman go to have a cigarette and allow me to clock out. I do and walk to my car, key between my fingers and pepper spray ready like I do everyday – no matter what the time or place – and one of the dudes – who shouldn’t have been driving – waves at me. I smie and wave back since he’s leaving and to be polite; he’d probably yell at me if I didn’t. I leave after him, his car in front and I, of course indicate while he didn’t. He goes the same direction as my indicator and I try not to look too far into it. No sense in panicking myself; now we’re at the lights and it’s red. He has his indicator going left and mine isn’t on. Light turns on and he starts to turn left but I start going straight – which he then goes straight (still in front of me). Im slightly worried now. Now to the next light, which has the left turn lane and the straight/right lane. He’s in the exact middle. Light goes green and again, he goes straight. I go left and he then switches left. Im panicking, I’m in front of him and he’s obviously following me now. I slam on the gas and I’m going 60 in a 45, trying to loose him. I go the backway to my house and loop around my neighborhood 5 times (super confusing if you dont kmow the area). I pull up, lock my doors, keys between fingers and run into my house, locking the front, making sure the back and front lights are off before double checking all the doors are locked. Was not fun and I was on the edge of a panic attack.

Treen

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I am an anaesthetist. When I went to see a female patient a couple of weeks ago the male gyanecoligist introduced me to the patient as this ‘lovely lady is going to see you now’. I responded immediately by saying ‘The anesthetist’. If I had been a male anaesthetist I’m sure he wouldn’t of said ‘this lovely man is going to see you now’

Sarah Bennett

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While in hospital with daughter who I care for 24/7 asked by male pediatrician to get my husband ( who was at his work place) to sign a consent form for my daughter to have a procedure.

Hannah

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I had always trusted Doctors, though their role had change dramatically for me throughout my lifetime. Who once started out as parental-esk figures who I trusted, but was always nervous around, grew in to friends, humans I could laugh with, share my inner most workings with. People who listened to me about my body, trusted my judgement and brainstormed with me whenever we reached a cross roads. Having Cystic Fibrosis, that’s the way it has to be. We are on this lifelong journey together. That’s what made it even worse. “I would probably take your more seriously if you were 10 years older and had already had children. I just don’t think you’re ready.” The decision to not have children has not been a quick conclusion to come to. It has been years of research, literature, and telling myself that carrying my own children is not part of my future. It has never made me sad, honestly, I have truly never seen myself having children full stop. I have so many siblings that are going to make wonderful parents – I will forever be the cool Aunt, and that is SO okay. Through years of awful hormonal (and non-hormonal) contraception efforts, I decided to take the steps to make sure I never accidentally conceived a child – honestly, the decision to carry a child for 9 months and give birth, causing potentially irreversible damage to my heart and lungs is not one I think I could make, and the alternative is not something I want to go through. I had spoken to my GP and my CF specialists who all agreed it was a good idea, and offered their support wherever they could – a response I was used to. “Oh my goodness – forgive me, I didn’t check the name on your notes. You’re Hannah? I was expecting someone much older. Are you seriously here to discuss sterilisation?” Instantly I felt wrong. Over the next 30 minutes she picked apart my justifications, made my feel irrational, naive and uncomfortable. She made me feel like I was on trial for my own decisions. All of the trust that I had built around doctors quickly diminished. No matter how many times I said the word CHOICE she shut me down, telling me all of the feelings I would feel in 10 years time – regret, sadness, emptiness, unfulfillment. Apparently this stranger knew more about myself then I did. After butting heads for what seemed like ever, she caved. She said she would perform the surgery if I got a psyc evaluation. She ended our consultation with “Well, it’s a good job you have CF, because otherwise I wouldn’t perform the surgery at all.” Firstly – that is the most disgusting sentence. Thanks. And secondly – my heart sank. For every woman before and after me. For every woman who was told that her DECISION over her own body was not enough justification. For health issues, or because you just don’t want children – WHICH YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE. Reproductive health does not just encompass abortions, STD checks and picking up the pill. Reproductive health, for me, also encompasses taking the necessary precautions to ensure I don’t get pregnant so I (and my partner) NEVER have to go through the trauma of an abortion. I also NEED the relevant support from the healthcare team through a potentially difficult period. I had never felt like my decisions made me any less of a woman – but I did after that appointment.