F
Growing up, one my closest friends was very pretty. When I was with her, she would constantly get catcalled and followed by men in malls and such. We were about 11 or 12 at the time, and being in the midst of all this prompted some self-esteem issues for me which still continue to date. Quite simply, I felt really bad at that age because I WASN’T being catcalled. As I understood it, to be catcalled, men had to find you attractive or desirable. And I didn’t feel like I was either of those things. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Now, of course, I am aware of how problematic that kind of mentality is. And yet, I still find a small part of myself wondering if somehow I am not worthy of being found desirable or attractive. It makes me sad, it really does. The fact that I’ve learned that getting validation from harassment is okay–normal, even–and that NOT getting harassment somehow means I’m less worthy as a person.