Legal System

Alexei

When I was 16, I helped prosecute my father for years of physical and sexual abuse. His attorney made quite a few comments about how I’d wanted it. I was six when it started.

Sarah

I was raped by my abusive husband for over a decade. I thought it was normal, I thought it was what was supposed to happen in a marriage because he told me it was. To him, women are things, not people. A woman has consented to sex because she has a ring on her finger. Afterall as he’s asked me dozens of times, “Can a man really rape his wife?” Yes, that was asked of me month after month year after year. It wasn’t until I truly understood what abuse was and what rape is that I was able to find my strength and get out of a horribly abusive and manipulative marriage. During this process of finding my freedom I’ve been shamed by “friends”, I’ve been told that it can’t be “that bad”, I’ve been told he’s changed and I should go back to him “for the kids”. And, possibly one of the worst was being told by a Guardian Ad Litem on the custody case that: “A man can only rape his wife once, after that its your fault for staying.” Yes this was said to me, in all seriousness. Sexism is everywhere. Its in our courts, its in the “justice” system that really just takes away rights of women rather than protecting the rights of women. Lies have been told about me and my children are not safe. Despite telling the courts about the abuse and the danger they turn a blind eye and my children are required to spend half their time with a man that currently abuses them. My personal fight is not over and my fight against a society that can raise a man like my estranged husband has only just begun. I will be teaching my daughters a new script. I will be teaching my daughters that their character matters more than their appearance. That a boy who hits isn’t showing you he likes you, he’s showing you he doesn’t respect you. I will be teaching my daughters boundaries and how to respect herself despite what others will say and do to try to damage that self-respect. I hope that this is only the beginning of world-wide change. No one should have to face this alone. I am behind you men and women that are facing abuse. I will stand with you.