A guy from Uni I barely know lent me a book of short stories we had briefly discussed, asked me to read one of them. When I returned the book a couple of weeks later, he asked me what I thought of the story, and I briefly explained I liked most of it but didn’t agree with some aspects and some of the actions of the character. I was in a rush, so we left it at that. Later that eveningt, I received 7 long paragraphs of text from him over whatsapp, in which he “mansplained” the plot of the story, the motivations of the characters, as well as my own opinion and comments on the plot back to me. MY. OWN. OPINION. Needless to say, I found it infuriating that he had the audacity to send me – completely unsolicited – these long messages about his views and why his thoughts on the story are “right” and more valid than mine.
Today my male colleague explained to me, a female, what it is like for a woman when they have sex for the first time. “It is more intimate for a woman” he says. Why thank you male colleague for explaining to me what sex is like for a woman, for I would never know.
I deliver a foreign language to primary school children in addition to being a full time secondary teacher. Today there was a cover teacher in the room with me as I delivered the lesson as usual. He stopped me mid explanation to address the children saying ‘sometimes the words come in the wrong order in a foreign language’, took it upon himself to micro-manage the class’ behaviour, and at the end of my regularly timed slot told me the lesson was too short. I am an experienced teacher who speaks six languages, but I am also a woman.
I recently explained to my mother what “mansplaining” is. She told me a story of how she’d contacted a piano tuner to come to my parent’s home to tune her piano. She said that after she had spoken with him about him coming to service the piano, he then asked her to put him on the phone with her husband so he could give the piano tuner directions to their home. To this man’s credit, he was very embarrassed and apologetic when she responded with shock that he didn’t think she knew where her house was.
I tried to buy concert tickets online but the website didn’t work. An automated message from the site told me to contact the event organiser, which I did. He told me that the site was working. He asked me to phone him so that he could ‘walk me through’ the purchase on his laptop. By this time I had got the tickets using a different browser. A week later, the problem persisted. He flatly contradicted me at a meeting when I said the site was showing premium tickets as sold out. They were in fact sold out. He did not believe me when I said the site didn’t work on IE. He explained that IE is the most popular browser, so if the problem had been IE the website would have solved it by now. He said he was sorry I had been disappointed (his assumption) but stated that I would not have had a problem if I had bought my tickets two months ago. This man knows me. His attitude is disappointing, though if he’d been going for a real Olympic level of condescension he could have told me to calm down, called me ‘dear’ or (for a distinction) ‘dearie’.
I’m from Mexico, the country where we have 7 feminicides a day, and a couple of days ago, a male classmate told me that (1) feminicide wasn’t political, (2) separate homicides according to gender was stupid af and (3) that communities should protect the girls so we can stop it, implying that communitied doesn’t protect themselves ¿¿¿¿???? and later got angry when I called out his bullsh*t.