Was asked if I was married while minding my own business one day while working (surveying) along a public footpath, so foolishly replied honestly with “no”. Immediately lead to repeated questions regarding going out with the man who asked. I said I wasn’t interested. This then changed to sex. Being propositioned multiple times a day by him, even though each time I either said no or that I wasn’t interested. I even tried adding that I have no interest in sex full stop, but that just led to criticism from him for saying no, and being told repeatedly that I was wrong and that I clearly did want sex but wasn’t letting myself have it (I genuinely have no desire). Sadly he is hard to avoid otherwise I would. Other times when out alone, I’m often asked why I’m alone or “where’s your boyfriend?” – Why can’t it just be ok for a woman (or man) to be alone?!
From the time I can remember I was always an object to the boys around me I was sexually abused by boys at school for around 4 years it was awful but at the time I felt it was normal no one had ever told me it wasn’t I had never been told by any adult that if someone is touching you or forcing you to touch them that it wasn’t okay I had to deal with that for 4 years and it wasn’t tell 6th grade that I understood what they had done to me but I was disgusted with myself afterwards and what they did to me has left me with mental problems that will never go away. I went to a new school for 6th grade because my school before was only first through fifth grade. The school I’m going to now is kindergarten through 12th. In 6th grade me and my best friend at the time were what was considered “popular” we were “friends” with a lot of the popular boys and we got lots of attention from them even though we didn’t want it more than anything we wanted them to leave us alone. All the popular boys made dirty jokes which some of them seemed innocent and funny at first but two of the most “popular” boys began making the dirty jokes personal they started telling my friend and I what they would like to do to us eventually for whatever reason they left my friend alone and began making them very personalized just towards me I think they knew I wouldn’t tell because I was afraid of them they reminded me of the boys of my past so I would just smile and laugh at their jokes or their gestures but eventually one of the boys got physical he always grabbed my bum and everyday in science from 6-7th he would but his hand on my thigh and a lot of the time he would rub my thigh and try to work his way up to my crotch but I would always go to the bathroom before then or tell the teacher I needed a drink of water. I always sat by this boy in at least one of my classes and eventually my friend told me we needed to tell someone we went to the councilor who then took us to the principal who at the time was a girl which made it easier for me to talk about it because it was girl to girl but her response was basically boys will be boys and that I should just stay away from him she said she would change our seats or have our teachers make sure he wasn’t near me or my frined even though he had stopped bothering her nothing ever happened besides they talked with him which didn’t go well because he told the entire school I had told on him and from 6th grade and still now I’m known as the snitch. He would threaten me with things that I thought I could trust him with before he showed me what he was really like and something that has made my life miserable is that he knew one of my abusers and he would threaten to tell everyone what a slut I was because I let them do that stuff to me. So I did what he asked… and what his friends wanted because I was afraid of them even though I knew I wasn’t a slut and that it wasn’t my fault because I hadn’t known what they were doing was wrong I was afraid and not even my female principal would help because boys will be boys right.
During the “me too” surge on Facebook, a male friend posted that he was sick of all the “gender politics” he was seeing, and wanted instead to talk about a statistic he posted comparing the number of male suicides with suicides of women. I pointed out that this was gendered too, and that while there is certainly a discussion to be had about the high incidence of suicides among men, it’s daft to pretend this has nothing to do with gender politics. I didn’t point out how this is another What About the Menz? – though it is – because I don’t want to trivialise suicide. He’s blocked me!