Tag Archives: Media


During the “me too” surge on Facebook, a male friend posted that he was sick of all the “gender politics” he was seeing, and wanted instead to talk about a statistic he posted comparing the number of male suicides with suicides of women. I pointed out that this was gendered too, and that while there is certainly a discussion to be had about the high incidence of suicides among men, it’s daft to pretend this has nothing to do with gender politics. I didn’t point out how this is another What About the Menz? – though it is – because I don’t want to trivialise suicide. He’s blocked me!


It’s less about the actual things I’ve experienced and more about the fears and anxieties that those memories cause me in the present. Wondering on a first date, will this man hurt me? On the third, being told I came off as “stand-offish.” Running a block home after dark in my safe family neighborhood, because I still fear someone is following me. Fearing my ex will one day reappear for revenge, long after the daily stalking and threats eventually stopped coming. Most of all, worrying that sharing these anxieties, let alone the stories that cause them, will hurt people that I love. I have been: -Choked by a date during the first and only time we had sex. Forever rattled when I’m with someone new. -Virtually stalked from several states away for a year after ending a six-month relationship. My parents traveled with me when I went on a work trip closer to where he lived, out of fear that he would show up and hurt me. -Hit on by one of my students during class, and put in the awkward position of having to explain why that is entirely inappropriate. -On more than one occasion, coerced into giving consent. -Punished by a stupid teenage boyfriend when I denied consent for fulfilling one of his ridiculous fantasies of having sex in an airplane bathroom. It struck me as gross, cramped, overly public, and dirty. He held a grudge for the rest of our relationship. -Grabbed in the street half a block from home by six to eight young men who took my purse and all sense of personal security. I was studying abroad, and my host mom’s first comment was “they could have raped you.” I am grateful (GRATEFUL!) that they didn’t. -Grabbed at countless parties. Sometimes a friend stuck up for me. Once I drunkenly and publicly called the guy out and later felt deep embarrassment for “causing a scene.” More often than not, I silently moved to the other end of the room. -Forced to undress in front of two neighborhood boys. One was my brother, two years older than me. They touched me. I was six or seven the first time it happened. When the adults found out, I was blamed along with the boys. Silenced, in fear I had done wrong, my brother’s behavior continued for the next several years. And still, when I think “has anything that bad or severe every happened to me?” I still hesitate, partly forgetting half the list, partly denying its impact on me, but mostly glossing over the severity of my experiences.


Recently there have been posts on facebook in a local Brighton People group about the number of pubs closing. The main post siting pubs as ‘Pubs used to be the pillars and safe houses for the community’. My reply: ‘Pillars and safehouses of the community? When? When I was a kid they were places to be avoided at all costs. Mainly used by old drunk men and if a woman dared to go into them we’d be groped and abused because we were ‘asking for it’. We were mostly afraid to go into pubs. Then trendy wine bars too over and the smoking ban came in and it improved for a bit but a woman on her own in a pub was still not in a ‘safehouse’. I think you’re living in cloud cuckoo land with your ideas of pub life.’ Most of the replies to this ignored by comments of women being abused and spoke only of the smoking ban but a few came up with these comments. First man: where the hell are these pubs? In all my years I’ve never known of a pub where women get groped. Second man: Whatvis you are wanting people to say about you being groped Debbie Mead? Do you think what ever anyone says with make any difference? Third man: I think you’re on a wind up. Only one other woman posted that she’d been groped in a pub.


I want to know why the Daily Mail and The Sun and The Mirror are able to write about womens bodies in the way that they do . Why is this form of journalism acceptable in this day and age and why is it not outlawed They do not focus on men the same way they focus on women with objectification and sexulisation. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Sexist telegraph

The daily telegraph just described rapist and sexual harassment perpetrator Harvey Weinstein as a “sex addict” No. He is a rapist. Russell brand is a sex addict. George Michael was a sex addict. They both had a lot of sex with multiple consenting adults. They didn’t bully or attack anyone. Harvey Weinstein raped women. Seriously how much does the telegraph hate women to put that on its front page? It’s staggering. Please don’t buy the telegraph.


My sixth form is having a Halloween disco this year, and since I haven’t been trick or treating in years, I figured I needed a costume. I decided I wanted to go as a cat so I went onto Amazon and googled “cat Halloween costumes women.” Every single costume to come up had somewhere in the name “sexy” “sexy cat dress” “ninja costume sexy” so on. I looked up “cat Halloween costumes for boys” and out of the five pages I looked at, not a single boys costume was labelled “sexy” This makes me mad, because firstly, boys can be sexy too, but also because girls are just expected to be sexy, especially when it comes to Halloween. We’re expected to wear short, barely covering outfits and then claim they’re a “cat” or a “nurse”. It’s sexism against both genders and it needs to end.

Sexist telegraph

“Are women asking for it?” Daily telegraphs headline about rape, ostensibly about Harvey Weinstein but really about all women, as the title implies. Shame on them. Excuse me what year is it?


I’ve just watched an advert for Pantene shampoo and conditioner. All the models are in skimpy underwear as part of the advert. Why does a hair advert need to feature women who are wearing virtually nothing? In men’s shampoo adverts, all the men clothed. Why the difference?


Have just seen the new JDWilliams advert for the first time. The message started off well, until when the voice over said “most important decisions”, with the model is surrounded by shoes. Trust me, women have more important decisions to make than what shoes they wear or buy


-I saw a card in Waitrose today which was a ‘Man Card’. It had a picture of a tool kit, a picture of a car, a picture of a football & a picture of something else (possibly a beer) on it, with the words “Have a manly birthday”. Because of course the only things men are interested in are the above things, & of course only men like them! Gender stereotyping yet again. I didn’t see a ‘Lady Card’, but I imagine it would be pink (although to be fair, the ‘man card’ was not blue), & have such things as flower arranging & cooking on it! -The fact that if you’re a stay-at-home dad, you can expect to be referred to as ‘Mr Mom’. -The fact that TV companies think it’s acceptable to humiliate women by getting them to appear on shows like 100% Hotter & 10 Years Younger, having them stand in the street & have random strangers give their opinions on how old they look or on their appearance (this can be really nasty) & then proceed to either ‘make them under’ in the same way that they do on Snog, Marry, Avoid from what I can gather or have them undergo umpteen surgical procedures to make them look younger, because heaven forbid a woman should grow old gracefully- something men are allowed to do without judgement, it seems.