Tag Archives: men

Kim Johnson

At home, my partner and his friends are in the garage gym, training. The talk is about the girls who go to the gym they also go to. Of one girl, who two of the guys like, I hear my partner joke to,them that they should share her. They then talk about how one of the girls wears clothes that she doesn’t have the figure for and she should swap with this other girl. The really sad part is they are all nice men….they don’t mean what they say. It kind of makes it worse.

Dom

I need to get this out. I’ve gone out with my brother and boyfriend for a couple of drinks the past two Saturdays. On the first occasion, my brother who calls himself an ‘anti-feminist’ not necessarily knowing what the word even means, was talking about the kind of girl he wants to marry. How she needs to cook for him and be smart, you know the awful, overrated story. I rolled my eyes and simply said you’ll never find one, women are getting too strong to appease that kind of crap. What got to me more however, was how he spoke to me. He seemed more comfortable speaking about women to my boyfriend, than he did to me, as everything I said was responded to by a ‘F*ck off’. Fine, I dismissed it as a boys topic mixed with drunkenness as well as the probable knowledge he holds of no woman ever being his cook and cleaner in his life. Let the boy dream, I thought. The Saturday after, my boyfriend brought up a topic we argued about. Then said actually he doesn’t want to talk about it, but I insisted that if he started we may as well explain it to my brother fully and see what he thinks. What I wasn’t expecting though, is having every sentence I started being interrupted by him. I didn’t get to explain the tinniest bit of my opinion or argument. Every single sentence starter that came out of my mouth was finished by him. It got to the point where my brother looked at me with the words ‘I’m so sorry’ screaming from his eyes and said ‘Let’s maybe change the subject.’ Just for contextual information, both these guys speak about there not being such a thing as feminist or unequal rights that need fighting for. Yet this happens? Yet I am silenced twice, for trying to T A L K in the presence of two boys? How are they this blind and deaf and goddamn ignorant to the problem they are so casually the cause of? Girls, who’s up for a drink with me, because I’m not planning to go with the opposite sex anytime soon?

Chuyita

I recently purchased the book ‘Everyday sexism’ and it awoke the urge to talk about my experiences with sexual assault and sexism. As a Hispanic teenager, I am expected to know how to cook, clean, be polite and submissive, and respect men simply because they are the ones who will protect me as I am ‘fragile’ and ‘not smart enough yet.’ It really sucks to have to require validation from my father in order to stay in the U.S. and obtain a higher education than i would in my native country. It is extremely exhausting to not be able to hang out with my friends or to burp or to be fat or hairy because that’s not ladylike. At school I have to deal with my fellow classmates looking at my body and I honestly hate being responsible for not getting raped when I walk down the street. I hate having to carry around loose bobby pins and how my brother was forced to teach me self-defense in case someone tries to do something. I don’t like the way I feel when i have to not make eye contact and lock doors behind me when I see a man give me a weird smile. I’m sixteen years old. I don’t like not being able to show my shoulders or my knees because a horny teenage boy might find that attractive and try to take advantage of me. I have been told that they are ‘complimenting’ me and that I should be grateful that someone would ever find me attractive, but the truth is that it makes me feel really uncomfortable and it makes me want to puke. A huge form of sexism that I see in school and in the general public is that we often fail to understand that men get sexually harassed, men get raped. I have met plenty of boys who have also ran away from other men and in some cases women. I have noticed and even done it, with all honesty, I grabbed my friend’s stomach and made my way up to his nipples and everyone took it as a joke, i noticed that even thouhh men are usually the ones to attack they are also victims and they get no validation or respect. You see? Men are also struggling with this because just like how I’m expected to be the perfect wife they are expected to be tough, strong, fearless, and ready to take any compromise or burden on their shoulders and not complain. Men are also victims of sexism. Men have feelings. Men are worthy of being loved. Men are worthy of being held and cared for. Men are a light of love in the darkness of sadness. There are a fair amount of men who have made mistakes or simply bad choices; choices that have affected many of us, but men are also pure and they are victims too. I have been sexually assaulted by both men and women and the only difference were the sound on their voice and their body type. Their intentions were the same and essentially had the same outcome. Is no different. I want to make a change and make school a safer environment for both boys and girls but we need to make it clear that feminism is gender equality and that it does not mean that women are better than men like many of my peers think. This is just a little something of who I am, what I’ve been through, and what i stand for. I might return later on. Thank you

Daisy

Bloke knocked into me in a club (I felt fine about this, it was unavoidable) but he apologized to my boyfriend about it (I was furious), then my boyfriend accepted his apology (I was extremely furious).

Ashleigh

Every time I go out partying with my friends, being fondled or groped is a guarantee, but a few months ago I was left alone in the middle of a crowded club, a man approached me and grabbed at my waist talking to me. I couldn’t hear him, but I replied ‘sorry, I’m just looking for my friend’. He didn’t let go of me, and I pushed his arms off and ignored his continuing advances. I have never really had an extremely violent response from rejecting a guy, but this man grabbed my forearm yanking me towards him and began shouting into my face. “Who the fuck do you think you are ignoring me? You stuck up bitch, you don’t ignore me.” And I was petrified as he grabbed at my bum. I wanted to sob as no one was helping me, and the man was at my face, but I’d heard of girls who fought back and got glasses smashed in their faces. My mother always taught me to just walk away from these kind of men, but she never said what to do if they followed you. Eventually, I was able to wiggle myself away from his grip after a harder shove at him. I considered myself lucky that I managed to escape. That same night, another boy, who was my friend, groped my chest and held me to him forcefully by shaking an arm around my waist and pinning me to his back. The next morning I told my Mum, she didn’t seem worried, I’m still not sure if any of this constitutes as sexual assault.

First date

Met a guy for the first time through an online dating site. The whole date went well, he was nice and courteous throughout. We were standing in front of the beach just as the date was coming to an end, it was windy and we were both facing the sea. Out of the blue he says, ‘are you trying to cover your cleavage?’. I lost my cool completely and gave him a piece of my mind. We ended the date and headed home. He was extremely sorry for his behaviour. But where the hell does such an audacious comment come from when you have just met a girl?

Anon

Today I was discussing with my male friends what he could get as a gift for his brand new girlfriend. I suggested going to the Body Shop and getting a nice arrangement of stuff for her. He instantly turned the idea down because he didn’t want to go in and have people assume he was gay, with my boyfriend backing him up on this. I then stated how this is why feminism is important, so that men can also go and do things like this without feeling the way they did. I was immediately shut down by them saying how ‘no, that’s equality, feminism isn’t that!’, and despite how much I tried to say that feminism was about equality for both genders, they wouldn’t listen. I feel like men would be more open to the idea of feminism (instead of shutting the idea down or saying how you’re a ‘femi-nazi’) if they understood that it’s equality for both genders, not female superiority or women wanting something more than men.

Louise

My boss, old enough to be my father tried it on with me- He’d comment in front of my male-strong team on my ‘weight loss’ and ‘how it made me beautiful and attractive’, he even said that I ‘had a good bum’. But he was old enough to be my dad, and I wasn’t interested. So his harassment turned nasty and personal- he obliterated my character within my young career and lost me a new position that was going to lead to a doctorate, all because he lied about ‘my character’. When I reported it to HR, they moved me from my team and put me in a lower paid position working unsociable hours- my former ‘team mates’ didn’t bother to stand up for me. After a Psychological referral, a suicide attempt and loss of over 5 stone due to lack of eating I attempted to take legal action- to no avail. Now i’m working a job paying minimum wage and have to start from scratch regarding my career. Turns out that a First Class Honours degree from one of the best unis is nothing in comparison to a sexism and vile male boss. He kept his job, sanity and dignity whilst he stripped me of mine for good fun.