military

Jen Elliott

I’m a serving RAF officer, and have been in the RAF for over 17years. I have deployed and worked in war zones; yet the military in a whole is so bias towards being Male not a women. There have been several instances that stick out in particular: • The majority of the uniform is male, meaning it is ill fitting, uncomfortable but sometimes downright unsafe. • I was once at a formal ‘Burns Night’ themed black tie event, I invited my husband as my plus one. It was assumed that I was male and my plus one was female as he had a bouquet on his seat on arrival. • We have recently moved to a new military camp, where everyone spoke to my husband and asked what he did in the military, some ignored me, most spoke to my husband, assuming it was he who was military.

T

It scares me to share anything personal about my life. I’m embarrassed, guilty, ashamed, scared, and I hate myself for it happening to me. One night we had our military dinning in. After the official Ceremony we went outside to the bon fire. I change into shorts and a long sleeve shirt. That’s when my XO touched the inside of my leg several times after I removed his hand. I subtly removed It without anyone noticing however we kept trying until I walked away. I came back for a few mins only to tell everyone goodnight. When I was leaving, he followed me, stopped me, hugged me, put his hand down ( or up my shirt- I still can’t remember to this day), groped my breast and said into my ear “that’s sexy”. Shocked and disgusted I removed his hand and told him I’m going to bed. Following days I confronted him, he told me he remembered but “everyone does this at these events” or a day later saying “well with alcohol”. I gave him the dui speech of choosing to drink and drive. He then told me that I am a great officer, one of the best in our Troop. 2.5 years later in December 2019 I had to testify in front of him, crying and screaming with anger. But after 4 hours of being battered by his attorney misconstruing my words and wanting to demonstrate what happened, that XO is being kicked out of the military with an other than honorable discharge.

Air Force Woman

I was in the Air Force for eight years and I can’t tell you the amount of sexist crap all of us females had to put up with, but the one that I remember most clearly was, every single time I went to sick call they thought I was faking it in order to get out of work that day. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Even when I was running an 102 fever. Even when I had walking pneumonia.

Lindsay

I’m about 8 months pregnant, this experience I had was a couple of weeks ago. I live in gated military housing, and I was walking down the street to the mailboxes. There were two male maintenance employees finishing painting a fence, and one of them started catcalling me. I whipped around just in time to see the other smack him and say “Don’t do that!” I was relieved, until it was followed by “She’s pregnant, dude!” I rushed to get my mail and nearly jogged home trying not to cry. I thought for a moment that he was coming to my aid because he respected ME. In reality, his respect was only for the father of my child. As if, were I not pregnant, it would be totally fine to speak to me like that.

Angie

Have spent 25+years in the Army. I used to ignore the “like a girl” comments because well, I could hold my own with any guy so I didn’t take it personally. Then I rose to the senior ranks and found where all the misogyny was really ceded, at the top where all the decisions are made. Here I daily had to re-prove my reason for being there all the while being told to keep quiet, sent dick pics, and literally, moved out of my job when I reported a man, my subordinate, for his inappropriate behavior.

Olivia

When I was around 20 years old, I attended an arduous military course that not many women participate in (or pass)…I won’t go into specific details as I still serve and don’t want to be identified at present. I was the only female on the course (of about 30 participants) also the only female in the entire camp. The lead ‘para’ instructor was absolutely dead-set on me not passing the course and made many attempts to intimidate me throughout the course. I’ve heard people say in the past that everyone in the Forces is picked on for one thing, be it their name, their appearance or some other trait. Fine in the name of lighthearted banter, but this was clearly sexism in my eyes. He repeatedly called me “Doris” and continually asked me whether I thought I could pass the course, “are you sure, Doris?”. When carrying some weighted bags on a fitness session, he commented that : “if you can carry your shopping bags, I’m sure you can carry these”. When I did pass the course, he gave me a crushing handshake of false congratulations. I cannot explain how victorious I felt to have passed because he didn’t want me to, but also how angry I was that he thought this was acceptable behaviour. He even openly mentioned that females had made complaints against him in the past. I felt powerless to challenge his comments at the time because I wanted to pass the course and he was in charge and a higher rank than me. This is the only brazenly sexist asshole I’ve met in my military career but I’ll never forget him.

HG

One of my male friends whom I’d been friends with for years came to visit me while I was working on the road recruiting students for a college. He was in the military and a die hard Christian so it was out of character for him to drink but he brought a bottle of scotch anyways. The night started out with 1 drink and ended in many more. I had plans to meet up with out mutual friend (his bet friend) the next week for a date and he knew about it – he said he was happy for us. Since the hotel I was staying in had 2 beds I said he could spend the night, I crawled in to one bed, he took the other and I turned out the lights. I fell asleep almost instantly. When I awoke, I felt a heaviness on my body and could feel his wet lips on mine. I stayed still, awake for a few seconds to process what was going on – my shirt was no where to be seen, he was kissing me and had wedged his body between my legs (still clothed in my pajama pants). I pushed him off the bed and climbed into the other, warning him to stay away from me. The worst parts came after when I told a close friend what happened and she said “Don’t be so ungrateful, he’s hot.”

Lindsey

Today, I was confronted on why women feel as though they should have a place standing next to our great men who fill combat positions for this country. This is the first time someone has approached me on this subject, but it is definitely not the first time I have heard it coming from another soldier. I constantly feel the need to defend my right to be in the military, and this is an extension of that. Historically, there are some cultures who allowed, even encouraged women to fight alongside men. Also, women secretly fought in the civil war, disguising themselves as men to protect their rights, and none were ever the wiser. I am proud to serve our country, to uphold the rights of our citizens, and I wish deeply that those rights would include gender equality within the military.

Anne

Recently, my sister was at a gas station, putting air in her tires. A man went up to her and said, “A little thing like you shouldn’t be pumping air.” My sister is a former Marine.

Kris

After replying as to how long I planned to be off on maternity leave I was told “I’d love to have that much time off doing nothing. Women are so lucky” by a male colleague.