netherlands

Elizabeth

I recently went on maternity leave. During this time, a senior position emerged at work and I wanted to apply for this. A consultant was hired to hire the senior position (don’t ask, this is how things are done there). When I told my boss I wanted to apply he said that I would be at a disadvantage because I didn’t know the consultant doing the hiring (because I was on maternity leave).

Claudia

I started University in the Netherlands at the age of 17 with a steady boyfriend in Germany. I was excited and unafraid, primarily because I had never recognized other negative encounters for the warnings that they were. I honestly thought that feminism wasn’t something we needed in the west anymore, because I had never felt hampered because of my sex. I never realized how sheltered I was. When I turned 18, I decided to throw a big party for the first time in my life. I wanted to let loose, to prove that I wasn’t “stuck up” and “prude,” that I could have fun. So when a friend asked if they could invite a classmate I didn’t know, I agreed without thinking twice. One by one, everyone left. The people I had asked to keep an eye out for me went home or passed out in their rooms. I was alone, more than a little drunk, with someone I didn’t know. I’d been friendly to him all evening, because I was in a social mood, so we’d chatted a bit. I told him my boyfriend lived in Germany, and he somehow took that as an invitation. He started kissing me, and I pushed him away. I told him I couldn’t do this. Somehow saying “stop, I don’t WANT this” was beyond my capabilites as a polite hostess. He persisted, reaching up and down and touching things he shouldn’t. I walked away and said I was going to stay in my friend’s room for the night, since the friend he had come with was passed out on my bed. He followed me, and while I rang her doorbell hoping against all hope that she would answer, he continued to touch me. She was passed out, and didn’t hear me. We went back to my hallway, and I said I would try another friends room. But he said “no don’t worry, I promise I’ll stop. I wont do anything you don’t want.” Being exhausted and drunk I wanted to believe him, because more than anything I wanted to go to sleep. He didn’t stop. The rest is too difficult for me to describe, even after two years of therapy for PTSD. Nowadays, I work on projects to raise awareness about sexual assault in the Netherlands and at universities in general. I’m trying to turn the worst thing to ever happen to me into something positive.