No consent

Stella

I stumbled across this project because of an interview about the sexual assault story in “sex education” season 2 and felt the need to share a story here as well. Maybe it helps somehow. On my sixteenth birthday my neighbors came by to congratulate me. A family, he is around 70, she around 40 and their daughter must have been 3 or 4 years old. He kissed me on my lips. She stood behind him and I don’t think she saw anything. I was confused by this. It felt disgusting. Some days later I asked a youth worker from church about this and she said that sometimes people greet each other with a kiss. So it doesn’t need to be anything. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Until two years later I had a few conversations with my parents about those neighbors because the guy had sexually assaulted his own daughter. He used to be a teacher and apparently had in the past given inappropriate attention to female students, he had a much younger partner, assaulted her own daughter…. And kissed me on my lips when I was 16 without my consent. Knowing all these other things formed a different picture than I had when I was 16. It is so disgusting!!! I didn’t tell anyone about this for years. I am 24 years old now and can talk about this to friends. I only kissed one guy when I was 22 years old. Before that even the idea of someone kissing me was too disgusting. It is crazy how such a small action can have such a huge impact. I still wonder today if I can trust a guy that I like enough to actually want to kiss him.

Mia

Five months ago I was at a friend’s birthday party. He lives far away from me, so it was arranged that the guests including myself and two girlfriends I shared a car with could spend the night. At about midnight me and a girlfriend go to bed since we’re really tired. About 4–clock I wake up from the feeling of hands on me – one of the other guests (a former classmate whom I’ve only spoken to a few times years ago) is fucking lying next to me trying to feel me up while he thinks I’m asleep. I get up, shaking with fear, and go to the kitchen where I find my guy friend (host of the party) telling him what happened. He tells me to sleep in the kitchen instead and says NOTHING to the creep in the bedroom. The next day, when I get home, I break down crying in front of my fiancĂ©e. He helps me call the cops to explain my situation. First, I talk to a male officer. He says “that I’m lucky that nothing more happened”. Next, I talk to a female officer (since I have also have to report the incident in the county where it took place). She takes my statement says that she’ll make sure they’ll give the creep a warning and stay in touch to let me know how the case develops. I never heard from them again. The next day I get a message from creepo saying “That he didn’t know what he ever did to me and that I should really think about the fact that I could ruin his life”… HIS. Life.