Meg
I went to a doctor who was a friend of my then-boyfriend because I was hoping he could help me get a referral to get my tubes tied. I’ve been committed to being child-free for basically all my life; I can’t take hormonal birth control because I’m at increased risk of stroke; my partner and I used condoms, but they frequently came off inside me; I was terrified of getting pregnant because I have a spinal injury that causes me chronic pain even when I’m not carrying an extra person around. Anyway, I explained all this to the doctor, and he examined the site where the spinal injury was, and poked at the scar from the spinal fusion surgery. I flinched because it hurt, and he said, “You know that’s just in your head, right?” And like an idiot, because I trusted him, and trusted my boyfriend’s opinion of him, I kinda laughed awkwardly and was like, “Yeah, I guess.” And then he told me there was no way anyone would give me the tube-tying surgery because I hadn’t had any kids. I repeated that I was scared because of the back injury, and couldn’t he help me by recommending that it was medically necessary for me? And all he said, in this fucking smug way, was “Oh, don’t worry, you’d be amazed what a woman’s body can do during pregnancy.” I was so hurt and angry, and to compound it all, when I went home later and told my boyfriend what his asshole friend had said, and how much it bothered me, he just brushed it off and refused to confront the guy about it, because I guess having a doctor friend who let him stay at his summer house sometimes was working out for HIM just fine. Anyway, I’m not dating that guy anymore, don’t worry– but I’m pretty sure that asshole doc is still practicing! It still makes me mad, because it’s not even recognizing all the negative health repercussions that can happen to completely able-bodied women because of pregnancy! I knew someone whose fucking pelvis cracked halfway thru the pregnancy, and 15 years later, it still had never healed back quite right! Auuugh, that stupid fucking man!