I went to the grocery store earlier today. I was alone. I was in the bread aisle looking for some rye, when a man said “You’re a really pretty girl.” I said “thank you” and continued my search for bread. He stepped closer and said, again, “I mean a really, really beautiful little girl….young woman, I mean.” He then asked me if I was married, what my name was, how old I was and where I lived. I said I wasn’t married, lied about my name and where I lived as to be safe, and told him my age. He told me he had two daughters and a couple granddaughters, and told me that he spoils them. He then proceeded to say (in an uncomfortably sexual way), that if I was living with him he’d be sure to “keep me spoiled”, too. He said he was a 69 year old man and that he “never does this”, but he saw me and just “had to” tell me how “beautiful of a girl” I am, “a truly cute little girl”. It was honestly so disgusting and he even became touchy, patting me on the back and half-hugging me. The rest of the time I spent at the grocery was filled with anxiety and I was constantly on watch to make sure he wasn’t following me/wouldn’t follow me home.
I got off the bus and it was is less minute walk home. I was in jeans, baggy sweatshirt and with a beanie. I crossed the street and I noticed a car slowing down, looking over there is two guys in their car pursing their lips and sending “air kisses” at me. I walked away because it was so out of the blue and I didn’t know what to do.
When I was 12 (yes twelve years old) I was enjoying the fountains in Vegas when I indignantly assaulted. While I was standing only a good two feet away from my parents an older man, most likely in his thirties started to feel me up and touch me extremely inappropriately. I’m all honesty someone probably noticed and at that noticed the worried look on my face. You would not believe how much I wanted to turn to my father and alert him if the situation, but I didn’t. I wish I’d nothing else that I would of told someone turned around and screamed so that I could have peace of mind. Because I was too scared to do anything he presumed I was enjoying the invasion of his fingers and the breath in my neck. The walk home after that incident was probably one of the worst in my life, trying to hold back tears as I felt the pain in my groin. Not even a year has passed and at least five incidents just like this has occurred. So, if I can pass on any knowledge to you it is that if you have the power to control a situation use it, or you will find yourself regretting it emmensly.
I was on a very packed train when an intoxicated guy comes on and makes his way to the back. He begins verbally harassing multiple people and unbeknown to the woman in front of him, pretends to shove his hand up her skirt. Smiling/laughing and winking at the college boys near him who start to egg him on, this guy goes to actually grab her ass and people who are much closer than I was watch as he does so with looks of disgust or indifference on their faces – ultimately don’t try and stop him! Just as he was about to grab her I smacked his hand away and said a stern “No” even though I was scared he would begin to hassle me. Luckily he looked utterly frightened (must have been my angry face) and got off on the next stop.
Around a week ago I was walking my dog when I heard her yelp, I bent down to see if she was ok (i was wearing a skirt, but it still covered me) and thankfully she was, but i heard a laugh from behind. As I turned around I saw a car pulled up behind me filled with around 3 or 4 young men (i’d guess their age was 20?) they were staring at me and whispering to each other, i heard one of them shout “nice ass” before they drove off. After that experience i quickly walked home and was a little scared to go walk my dog the day after.
The other morning I was walking to work at 7:45am. I was tired. I didn’t have any make up on. I was wearing a baggy black t shirt, flared trousers and runners. I almost want to stop myself here because obviously, it doesn’t matter what I was wearing. what I’m trying to convey is that it was a day where i didn’t care what I wore or what I looked like. I wanted to be comfortable. A man made a sexual comment about me. Obviously this isn’t the first time it’s happened. Because I’m a woman. But I’ve noticed a trend. These men, (and every instance it is a man) say these comments just as there are past you. By the time you have registered what just happened they are metres away. Leaving you petty unequipped to confront them. They are taking so much power from women this way in one foul swoop. I turned to confront him but he was very far away. He had turned back to look at me, waiting for a response. I gave him the finger. Sometimes I’m not sure how to approach these situations. I feel like barking back an insult somehow only spurs on the idea to these bastards that the whole thing is just a fun game of wits and who can quickly think of a better put down. I almost cry with anger at the thought of how entitled these people seem to think they are to make comments about women who are simply being in public spaces. To me, it exposes a complete lack of respect and disdain some men have for the opposite sex. It’s infuriating, upsetting and wrong. A few weeks ago my friend and I were walking down the street and a bus driver in uniform made sexual comments about us. A bus driver. In uniform. Does this mean that if ever I’m on a bus alone late at night, I should be scared because a bus driver might rape me? Some might accuse me of over reacting here. But if this bus driver who obviously had no regard for my consent about being commented on, surely logically, he has no problem in disregarding my sexual consent. The rage.