Tag Archives: Public space

Laura M

Life in a small rural area means a sense of forced intimacy. There’s no getting around seeing your neighbours on the regular, as you shop, etc. This makes it particularly tricky when faced with someone overly “handsy” as I have been. His reputation speaks for itself. “Creepy, rapey, watch out”….. He told me himself that he’s “too strong” for most people. I’ve made it a habit to never, ever be alone with him. Last summer he cornered me, “helping” me put my groceries in my truck. He stood pointedly between the door and door frame. I’m hard-wired for politeness and live alone, so I struggle with being assertive enough to make the point but not put myself in harm’s way due to his shredded ego. He’s sizeable and menacing. I asked him politely to move. As I went to leave he suddenly went in for a hug. I kept my hands close to my body. He whispered creepily, “I just want to eat you up.” I replied, “not going to happen” and as he released me his hands grazed my breasts. Gross. Truly no describing how disgusted I feel at this creep. I told friends here and they generally agree, in that Weinstein way, that it’s “just how he is” and he’s “probably not going to change”…. None of the men here seem willing to take him on, despite plenty of stories of him getting aggressive with the local women. Disappointing and infuriating.

Alice

a couple of guys grabbed my bum multiple times in the nightclub. I couldn’t believe they did this, especially after the Weinstein allegations being all over the news at the moment. I felt horrified, disgusted and violated as if i was just a thing to be taken advantage of, how can they not see that their actions are not right and class as sexual assault. I realised harassment/assault is something women just assume will happen/ high risk of it when on a night out or even during the day. I feel many just think ‘ well there are worse things happening in the world to less fortunate people’ and that becomes an excuse of explanation for harassment/ assault so it is not taken/tackled seriously.

Linda LaForge

I have be gropped so many times in public spaces I cannot remember since the age of 13. I have been cat called in public so many times I cannot in public. I have been raped once. I have been stalked by my ex boyfriend who threatened to kill me. I cross the threat to avoid groups of boys or men to avoid comments.

Emily

I was at a Halloween get-together with a small group of friends (including myself there were 6 females and 4 males) last night. At one point a (horrible) guy I’d gone to high school with was the topic of conversation. I was explaining to one of my (male) friends why the guy we were talking about was so horrible. I told my friend about how this guy refers to women as “warm holes” and all kinds of other degrading terms, how he has been known to degrade and insult, humiliate and assault specifically women. My friend was somewhat understanding, but the other males in the room just laughed at what I was saying, mocking me in a way and downplaying the terrible things the guy has done. They told me they thought his reference to women as “warm holes” was “hilarious” and that I needed to stop being so uptight. None of the girls in the room said anything, but it was clear to me that they were uncomfortable. I am just so sick of situations like that. I’ve been in far too many of them…The guy we were talking about is one of the most sexist people I know, and most of the males in the room just mocked me for even bringing it up. Why do (certain) men feel the need to dominate the conversation and make women feel as if their valid feelings of resentment towards sexism are purely over-exaggerated and unnecessary? It makes me fucking sick.

Clara

1) since being 12 years old men have called out in the street, made inappropriate comments, told me and friends that they want to do sexual things to us etc…. 2) at work as a young teacher being told to walk up and down a classroom so that the students could “admire me ” (by another teacher!) 3) with a long-term partner. I asked him to stop during sex because it had started to hurt. He carried on. This happened a number of times and even when I was crying and pushing him away he didn’t stop. When I was crying afterwards he would say that he didn’t realise. That I hadn’t been saying no loud enough. he didn’t believe he was doing something so wrong, and he will probably never understand the impact it had on me. However this doesn’t excuse his damaging, and violating actions. Angry with myself for letting it happen multiple times, and getting caught in an abusive situation but I understand (years later) that this is not my fault. far too many friends and relatives have told me similar stories, and far too many men have not believed me.

H

Due to a breakdown in communication daughter ended up walking home from leisure center at about 7.30 pm on a Monday Night in Tooting. In the space of the 20 minute walk she was cat-called or similar (“hey pretty lady” etc) by men or groups of men on four separate occassion. She’s 15.

Eimear

While walking down the street in new york city on a sunday, early in the morning. two men walked past me and one said ‘you look like you got a fat pussy’ first, i was confused because what does that even mean, and then i turned around and shouted fuck you. people stared at me like i’d done something wrong.

Gang raped

I was 15. I was rebellious and ran away from home. While gone I partied at a nightclub. Me and a guy I knew went out back to smoke. Next thing I know 3 guys are forcing themselves upon me in a dark parking lot. I tried to fight and scream so they shoved gravel in my mouth. Thank god I was drunk so I can’t remember details. For 10 years I told no one because I thought it was my fault for being somewhere I shouldn’t or for being drunk. I was so ashamed and filled with self hatred. Then in college I took a class in Women’s Studies and the professor taught me that violence is never ok and it is NEVER the victims fault. I got it and everything changed. Especially inside me. I started volunteering at a Women’s shelter and soon after I was hired as a crisis worker. I was good at my job because I really understood where these women were coming from I can’t tell you how many times I told a client that it’s not her fault no matter what it’s not her fault I worked my way all the way to being executive director of that program.

Margot Hauser

I’m 18, I live in Paris. I knew harrasments and sexual assaults. I was goins to take the subway on a morning, while a group of men was cleaning the street. One of them turn round and looked at me, smiled at me. I was listening to my music but I heard him saying me something like “How are you ?”. He smiled at me very kindly, maybe a little bit too much, but at the moment, I smiled at him. But a few second after, I remarked : “Would have he said that to a boy ?”. Well, the answer was no. I’m in a fashion school and last weekend I had to buy some supplies. I had to buy one meter of ribbon. When I asked to the seller to cut me one meter, he smiled at me and said : “But we don’t sell only one meter to a young and beautiful girl like you”. As he saw me blushed, he asked me if I was embarassed and I couldn’t say yes so I smiled. Then, he asked me questions about my school, and when I was answering I was looking at him straight into the eyes but the seller was looking at my face, my neck, my boobs. It felt like he was undressing me. I just wanted to take my supplies and run away.

Ida

So yesterday I went on ‘a date’ with a guy. Everything was new and cool and at the end of the day we end up at a bar full of people and with really nice vibes. But when we go to buy the drink that we were supposed to share, the bartender says in spanish “Oh I’ll put two shots in here to make her more ‘romantic’”. And in Spanish it’s hard to separate if they mean “it” as in “making the moment more romantic” or if it means “she” – as in “making her loosen up”. So I think it’s the first and I laugh. And both the guys laugh. And then after like an hour when I’m kind of drunk and have gotten closer to my date and a little touchy he says “ha, you didn’t really understand what the bartender said back there, right?.” and I told him what I thought it had meant and then he laughs and explains that it was me that was supposed to get more romantic. Because when he 5 later after buying the first drink went and bought his own, the bartender only put one shot in there. And when he told me this I just felt so betrayed and stupid that I actually became more loose and attracted to him. And all this with my history of a guy in the past actually making his way to make my drinks stonger than his and then raping me. Fuck this world. I’m so angry, sad, hurt, upset.