Tag Archives: Public space

Juliet

There’s a lot of things that go down at school that are never taken seriously. Once one of my closest friends told me “Girls wouldn’t get raped if they didn’t deserve it” and after reporting this to a teacher, the councilor, and the principal, the only answer I got was “boys will be boys,” from each and every level I went to. Boys will ask for nudes and then leak them, they’ll get girls drunk and use them, they’ll call them sluts afterward. There is no punishment they receive, no reprimand, just a casual “boys will be boys.” One boy has been hitting on me since the 8th grade. Every time I tell him no he hears “convince me.” I once yelled at him out of frustration for having to say no so many times, and I got in trouble for hurting his feelings while he got away with harassment. I was at a party and he grabbed my ass, when I reacted with calling him out and being rightfully pissed, I was kicked out for hurting his feelings while he got away with harassment. Schools advertise themselves as safe places for students, but in reality, they mean they’re a place for boys to do what they want and for girls to get in trouble, and it f**king sucks.

Elizabeth

There is a rubbish clearance company based in North London called Junk and Disorderly. The side of their vans say the following: “All rubbish cleared: Wives, Girlfriends, Mothers-in-Law etc”

Ruth

This occurance has hurt, confused and embarrassed me for years. Second year of uni went out for someones birthday dressed as Disney characters. I did a punk Alice (Malice) in Wonderland. Felt great. Went to a bar with an offer of ‘buy a drink, get your hand stamped, get reduced entry to (local club)’ offer. My friends (all in pretty fancy dress) has no issue getting served. I got looked at directly, appraised and passed over, and when the guy behind the bar finally did serve me, he was very stand offish and rude and purposefully didn’t give me the necessary stamp for the offer. I tried to get his attention by tapping the bar as he ignored my talking, but was sarcastically just tapped back at. So I got the stamp off a different bar man and walked away to speak with my friends. Next thing I know the original barman in infront of me, telling me to put down my drink. Confused, I asked ‘what? Why?` He proceeded to take the drink from me, drag me outside, and then shout in my face (in front of the bouncers and other patrons) that I had sworn at him, and so wasn’t welcome there and that I could fuck off. I cannot honestly say that I didn’t swear at the situation but I certainly never swore at him (and even if I had, irony much? Plus can he really say he didn’t deserve it if I had?). So he left me there, a 19 year old girl, separated from her friends, surrounded by drunk people. My friends did quickly come out and we moved on, but he ruined my night, and the only reason any of us can think that he initially took against me was how I looked (my costume was meant to be pretty). I left early, and walked home alone, in tears. When I emailed and wrote to report it (noone answered the phone) I got no response.

Ruth

Walking back to the office after my lunch break, clearly in a hurry (I was running late). A guy calls ‘Excuse me’ but I ignore him as a) I wasn’t sure he was speaking to me, and b) if he was he was probably going to ask for money, and I had no change and no time. The loud, angry ‘Bitch’ he yelled next didn’t endear me towards conversation either, but as I sure as hell wished I wasn’t running late so that I could have confronted him. Not worth a reprimand at work though.

Anon

Last week I was getting onto the tube in London late at night. As a man was getting off we nearly bumped into each other and so I stood to the side to let him pass. As he did he looked at my boobs (you could very vaguely see my bra through my top), stared for a few seconds and then mumbled ‘f*ing hell’ under his breath. I know it’s no way near so bad as other women have had it but it made me feel vulnerable and since then I’ve felt like I shouldn’t have worn that top because you could see my bra through it. It’s ridiculous how I feel like I am partially responsible for his leering at me.

bella

This is some stuff that has happened to me and other girls at my school starting at age 11 or12, and I’m 13 now. There are girls in my year who are slut shamed because of having sex but the boys do initiate the relationship you know. I’ve had lots of boys ask me for nudes and other girls will gladly send them but I haven’t because I’m not trying to have the school see my tits , and a lot of boys leak nudes and stuff and one boy blackmailed a girl and threatened to leak them if she didn’t send him more nudes. They also get fake pictures and say it’s you if they can’t find real nudes of the girl. They hack girls Snapchats to find pictures of them. At a party a boy got a girl drunk , she was already drinking but when she had a Fanta, he put more vodka in it. He then fingered her even though she was saying no. In general, the boys will make sexist jokes and don’t respect the girls, but a lot of the girls don’t care. It’s hard because I’m friends with these girls but don’t feel comfortable telling them that they can’t let the boys do these things. I have had a go at the boys a lot and have to make sure I don’t do anything that will get me in trouble, but it’s hard because I know they’re just going to get worse and god knows what they’ll be doing by the timetheyre 16. I’m always sexualised because of my boobs and am known for them being big which pisses me off. If I were a top that shows them at all I get called a slut, but the girls that are flat chested will wear tops that give them nip slips every five seconds and no one says a word. I hate to admit it but now when I go out I feel a bit scared walking past most men, from my age to really old. I always see them looking my up and down and I want to punch them because I’m nowhere near legal, even though I look older than my age. I’m worried to grow up Becuase I doubt men will have any boundaries with a grown woman if this is how they act to a 13 year old. When I’m out, men will shout stuff from their cars at me and I had a proper old man telling me how good I looked once. People shout that I have massive tits and someone gave me money and asked for a kiss. I can deal with it quite well because I’ll gladly say something back but often I get to angry and am kind of in shock. I don’t think it’s fair girls my age should go through this and I’m worried for my 8 year old sister to get to my age. People act like if you’re a feminist you hate men so I can’t speak out about it much at school but I always defend women’s rights when it’s brought up. This stuff might not seem like much and I’m sure people go through much worse but i wanted to share. With the stuff at school my mums friend is a psychiatrist so she can speak to the school without mentioning names because I don’t want full on investigations, so hopefully things will get better there

Sara

Yesterday one of my closest male friends and I were reading a feminist magazine and he actually started explaining the concepts to me. I knew the concepts, and though I might not be as well read as he on feminist literature and philosophy, I acutely experience these things every day. I just really took issue with it. Later, this same friend made an offhand comment about how unfortunate it is that ugly women never get taken seriously in society (after explaining how he made out with a very problematic person because she was hot). I’m not the best looking woman, and I have dealt with that, so it stung. I’ve felt bad since.