Public space

Kirsten

Was on the tram. A man hemmed me into the corner of the seat. I thought that would be it. Then he put his hand down my trousers into my pants. I froze and couldn’t even speak. It was only when the tram stopped I got myself up and away. I’m angrier at myself for not doing anything than I am at him.

Anon

This anecdote is much lighter than most on here but is an example of unconscious sexism. I was stopped at a routine police roadblock recently for a licence check (common and normal in my spacious and quite rural country). The middle aged, male traffic officer asked what town i was coming from and the city i was heading to , which is usual. After i told him, he quipped ‘thats a long way just for shopping!’. I then informed him of the actual purpose of my trip – to give a presentation at a conference. There was a pause…’oh…good luck ma’am’. I can only hope that the encounter might make him think twice about jokingly presuming what women driving long distances alone are doing. Could he have asked the same of a man?…sure, but i doubt he would have!

Anon

Man here. I was in Glasgow, on Buchanan Street, walking past the Victoria’s Secret lingerie shop. Some promotion was on, women in lingerie in pissing-cold rain (I am not judging this as it was something I observed by chance). I walked by, thinking they were quite brave enduring the weather, but was shocked to see men my age crowding around, leering and taking photos on their phones. FFS. The women were doing a job and did not deserve public lechery or voyueristic photographs taken.

Sam

Every time I order a beer and my husband orders a soft drink, 90% of the time the waiter who brings it over (male or female) gives the beer to my husband.

Kale

Getting wolf-whistled as I passed a group of boys whilst walking home from university. (Swansea, UK)

Ash

I notice this most when I visit my folks in the south: men from strangers to family and typically much older call me “little lady.” I’m a year away from 30.

L

So at my school we were playing netball and NONE of the boys would pass to us girls. i also have this friend who will never choose any girls for his football team because he says he wants to win .

G

Out on an after-work drink on Friday. A group of women were out too. Whilst I was ordering a drink, one of the women grabbed my arse and made it clear that she wanted to take it further – I told her I was married, not interested and showed her my wedding ring. The next time I went to the bar, another of the group thought it would be funny to ‘accidentally’ brush her hand against my crotch. I informed the bouncer, but he said I should be flattered and to take them up on their offer.

L

My dive instructor took down his pants underwater. He signed me to touch his (hard) penis. I, alone, vulnerable and in need of assistance underwater, didn’t know what to do. He took advantage of the situation. I swam away but he swam after me. Eventually, other divers joined so it stopped. I only realized a few days later what happened.

Texas Tears

A man told me “It can’t be that bad,” and I should “smile more” just hours after my mother died. She would have approved of the satisfaction I felt when telling him, “I’d give you my mother’s number to tell her that, but she just died a few hours ago.”