Tag Archives: Public space

anonymous

The male conductor of a university student orchestra wanted the male members of the orchestra to escort the female members of the orchestra up the aisle of a church onto the stage at a concert. All the women in the orchestra reacted to this is in different ways- anger, a sense of feeling put out, some were perplexed, confused…- they said things like “we’re not that pathetic”. All the women I spoke with identified with the sexist quality of this action. All members of the orchestra refused to do it.

suzie

When me and my brother met a male friend of his in the street. And he asked my brother for my telephone number- in front of me, while I was standing right there! My brother said “you should ask her” (I didn’t give it to him)… my brother couldn’t see what was so bad about this. He thought it was “nice” and “considerate”.

Val

A shoe shop refused to let me try on a pair of male shoes. I have wide feet and men’s shoes are much roomier and probably better value for money. I am sure they last longer. Appreciate I can order on line but it would be nice to try them on in a shop.

Jody

I have made my own way in life in many aspects. I have the money now to buy my own house for myself and my son. I took my boyfriend, who earns considerably less than me and has not had my extensive career, with me to my first house visit. (Incidentally, my boyfriend is an amazing man who is very supportive of me and my career and he helps out with raising my son, etc.) The man showing me the house made eye contact with my boyfriend only and talked to him the whole time even though I had made it clear that I was the one buying. Even when I would ask an informed question, he spoke to my boyfriend. Another agent literally asked me what my husband earned. When I said I had no husband, he asked how I would pay for the house. He wanted to make sure I wasn’t just visiting out of curiosity. I live in France.

Marla

I’m going to use my real name as I think we older women (64) should stop glossing over our pasts. I know I’ve forgotten some of my “assaults”. Many of my friends my age and over don’t mention their “experiences” but some do and they’re all substantial. Mine include: Being nearly gang raped by six men My front rubbed up outside the Centre Pompidou in Paris Several “exposures” Being rubbed up against on a bus (twice!) another time on the tube Called a pussy, slag, sexy momma, you name it! Told my boobs were large, I was too fat, slim. Two unwanted attacts after a date and having to leave quickly. The most recent incident was being in a nearly empty train carriage where a man sat next to me with a porn magazine. I callled him on it but the to or three people on the train looked at me in disgust. I was nearly 50! I do know that the younger you are and more vulnerable you feel the more “attention” you attract. Men should be educated on all these behaviours. And other men/women should call then out when.they see someone being harassed.

Anon

I’m a big fan of Forza games and joined a fb group called Forza United. The constant casual attitude of sexism has made me consider leaving the group many times. The female members are always silent likely for fear of the sexism. The male members often address the group as if there are no women in the group at all, ‘hey lads’. Pictures of half-naked women are posted across sportscars. Today people were posting Trump quotes about sexual assault and laughing about it as it was funny and okay. I feel absolutely silenced because I know that if I raised this in the group their would be a barrage of abuse to silence me. I don’t even use a real photo on fb so that in groups, my gender isn’t know. People almost universally assume that I’m male without a personal photo. I feel that if I had a photo of myself, it would attract sexism in any gaming groups. I have had to leave numerous gaming groups that have this same attitude towards women. They assume that all the followers are male and talk about women in an objectifying manner with ‘girlfriend memes’ and sexualising images. Female gamer groups are often pink and/or women wanting to stream themselves for male attention rather than genuine female gamers. I encounter so many sexist attitudes in the men that I know that it sometimes feel like almost every man thar I know is sexist apart from one or two. When you ask many men, they genuinely believe that men are stronger and betters than women.

Tina

I was managing a guy in a learning centre and my boss suggested he would benefit from me mentoring him a bit as he wasn’t doing well.I spent a bit of time encouraging him and building his confidence.After a few weeks he sent me an email saying when and how he wanted to make love to me.I showed my boss who took him aside.The guy said I had been nice to him and so assumed I fancied him. The guy was moved to another centre with all men and it went no further.My boss said he would be ok in the other centre because they had a male manager and “ha ha,he won’t fancy him,ha ha”.He got the sack later for hitting off on women learners as I told them he would. I really felt that everyone else considered me a bit pathetic for telling my boss and that I ought to have just laughed it off.

Connie

Going out in a club, trying to fight across a crowded dancefloor and a guy grabbing my boob. At 21 saying to the guy I was seeing that I was on my period and therefore didn’t want to have sex and him saying ‘I don’t care’ and pulling my legs apart. Going out for dinner with two of my colleagues and listening to them talking about ‘taking girls to pieces’.

Anna

I was at a work meeting with lots of other head teachers. At lunch I sat down beside two male heads i hadnt met before and one immediately started asking if i sat there to sit near the handsome ones. On another occasion as a younger teacher at a school i worked in the male head stopped to talk to me and my year group partner. we were going swimming in the afternoon with our classes. he asked if we got in the pool, if we wore bikinis and then said he might come down to see…all the time he was talking to us he was rubbing his nipple through his shirt!

Grace

I was out having a nice day shopping with my mom but I don’t get to do often. We were in Ulta when I realized I left my wallet in the backseat of the car. I told her I would be right back and ran out to the car to grab it. I opened the driver side door on my two-door vehicle and was leaning over to grab my wallet from the backseat when out of the corner of my eye I noticed another vehicle attempting to pull into the spot next to me where I had my door open, so I stood up and politely pulled my door and to give him room to park. He proceeded to roll down his window and ask “Hey girl, you got a boyfriend?” I couldn’t help it roll my eyes at this and replied with sarcastic “No but I do have a girlfriend, sorry not interested in you or any other man”… I am actually heterosexual but previously had success with this tactic in the past with thwarting unwanted advances. He responded “Ahh that’s too bad, I can eat your pussy good too”…. LOVELY! This infuriated me… This kid was maybe 19 years old and I 30… I responded in a way that shocked myself even … I said “Do NOT speak to me like that! Have some respect! Who taught you that it is okay to speak to women that way??” He didn’t have anything to say to that. I grabbed my wallet, slammed my car door and as I walked away said “ You need to learn to have respect for women and stop treating them like objects, it’s called sexual-harassment leave or I’m calling the police”… I went back inside of the store and told my mom what had happened she was just as appalled. I pointed him out to her she immediately started pointing at him angrily and he finally drove away. I must say I was proud of myself for standing up to him when in the past I might’ve shyed away and let his behavior go unchecked. Next time I think I’ll leave out the girlfriend thing, I don’t need to lie to these jerks. I’m just going to say “Not interested”… that’s all they need to know.