Tag Archives: Public space

J

Why do people need to tell women that they look tired? Ok i look tired – so? Whenever someone says that to me, its always in the tone of: ” hey your nose is running”. I dont care if i look tired, but i know that its not meant as a compliment! (Because we all know women must look: smiley, fresh, upbeat and pretty) So really your just being an asshole. Stop being so “worried” about womens look and try being a decent person. Just try.

Leaving

I got crucified online by Remain voters and my mum was aggressively approached in the gym by a remain voter who got right in her face. Neither knew how we voted but I guess we just weren’t complaining as loudly as the bremoaners when the subject came up and they were suspicious… After all half the population voted leave so they must be somewhere. I know several men who voted leave and are totally ok, no one arguing with them at all, could it be because they are quite large build and male? Or in one case, male and Bangladeshi born “so not racist”. One guy even cheerfully talking about how happy he was with the result, no one questioned it. Brexit – a new way to be sexist and aggressive towards women you barely know. Really wish I’d voted leave now, just to piss off men like this. Not sorry we are leaving even though I didn’t vote leave because I don’t run a business but I have been sexually assaulted by immigrants on more than one occasion and I want to screen them and I want those minority of immigrants who do commit sex offences to be kicked out, which will be a lot easier if Britain has the last say. Guessing considering how hard it is to report sexual harassment without people telling you not to cause trouble for other immigrants (“you’re the racist, they’re not all like that”, yeah I know but that one is) or the police telling you “there’s nothing we can do if he wasn’t from the UK, he’s probably gone home by now” (thanks police! You just don’t want the paperwork do you) this might be an issue? It’s not all about jobs and the economy. Most women I know have at least one immigrant male harassment story, no one says a word for fear of being called racist. But even those of us who didn’t vote Leave now also have to put up with extra male harassment if it’s suspected we don’t entirely agree with the Remain voter male (who is clueless about sexual harassment) and his entitlement. Stop aggressively pushing your opinions on women when you don’t do that to men. Stop using politics as an excuse to talk down random females and dominate a public space. And stop assuming that just because women don’t mention sexual harassment that it hasn’t happened. She might just not wish to share upsetting details of her life for your political sport. Thanks.

South africa

Hundreds of protesters took to the streets of Pretoria on Saturday, angered by a rise in violence against women and children in South Africa, including killings and sex attacks. Answering the call by a group calling itself “#Not In My Name” the protesters, most of them men, marched through the streets of the South African capital behind a woman symbolically dressed head to toe in white. “The time to take collective responsibility for our shameful action is now,” said Kholofelo Masha, on of the protest organisers, who described himself as “a loving dad, brother and uncle”. South African men have remained quiet on the issue for too long, he added: “You hear a lady screaming next door, you decide to sleep when you know there is a problem next door… No man should beat a woman or rape a woman while you’re watching”. Reports of the rape and murder of women and girls have been front-page news recently in South Africa, which has some of the worst crime rates in the world. According to official figures, a women is killed by someone she knows every eight hours somewhere in the country and one woman in five has been subjected to at least one act of violent aggression in her life.

Anon

Apparently you can’t drive with your windows down anymore because, “Hey baby, where you going?” Why is it acceptable to be harrassed on the road and in the safety of your own car no less? Just because I look at your vehicle does not open the doors for conversation. This all happened as I was shoulder checking. Because being a good driver… Because being a responsible citizen… Etc etc.

Fiona Kerry

Today, at 10:15am, as I got out of my car and walked to my house after completing some errands, I young male leant out of his upstairs window and shouted something inaudible at me. This was followed by laughs inside his room (I could hear these from the other side of the road) and then he shouted ”Do you want to be fingered?” which was followed by more laughter. I stared straight ahead and got in to my house as quickly as I could. This whole situation made me so angry I was shaking but then I became even more angry at my own train of thought. I was thinking ‘how dare this person think he has the right to shout at me and make me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable’ … but it didn’t stop there; I followed that with ‘…at 10:15am in the morning, when I’m just wearing my normal day time clothes, when I’m this close to my house…’ as if that should make a difference! It should have just been ‘how dare he think he has the right to make me feel that way’, period. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in your scruffs in the middle of the day or dressed up on a night out. What’s worse is that I even started to feel slightly embarrassed about how I’d reacted in that I’d ranted to my boyfriend as soon as I got in to the house, then called my Mum and ranted some more and then told my friends via WhatsApp with liberal use of the red face angry emoji. I actually started to question how much I had the right to feel indignant and outraged. I’m still questioning this now… almost 12 hours later and it’s pissing me off. This is the not first time that has happened, it’s been happening since I was at least 15 years old, I’m now 32. Each and every time, I felt embarrassed, awkward, uncomfortable and, at times, threatened. That’s not to mention the times that men think it’s ok to stick their hand up your skirt in clubs as they walk past…To anyone who thinks, ‘oh come on, it’s flattering and it’s not like he actually did anything…you should be flattered’ that’s bullshit. It’s not about a man thinking your pretty or attractive in anyway or about wanting to pay you a compliment, it’s purely about a person thinking that they have the right to objectify someone and that they have the right to say whatever crude, crappy thing they want and I’m sick of it. And I’m sick of the fact that I’m not even sure that I should be outraged about it.

Ex waitress

Carrying two hot plates is not permission for you to grab my breasts, had to walk with my elbows turned in to avoid this. Everyday waitressing? Also having to deal with a boss who joked about breasts every day. Literally every day. But it’s ok cos he likes art, like the other pervert, they both like art so staring at womens breasts and endlessly discussing them is totally ok. Also pride shamed for not being willing to get naked for the guy who was into art and drawing the female form, yeah he sprung that one on me while I was innocently chatting. Second time I’ve had to face a room full of topless women without warning. How is this ok? If I had a ton of dick pics on my wall I’d take them down before inviting a new male friend over. Common sense and courtesy.

Luke

I was told to not take photos of my children at the beach because i was a man. There were 4 other people there taking photos and they were all women. No one told them to stop taking pics. Im not a sex offender. i have no prior convictions. Women are sexist too.

Faith

I consider myself lucky because I’ve never been groped or physically assaulted in public. There are so many instances in my life they’ve become a blur, they’ve become normal and only the particularly shocking memories remain. After many times of being called “bitch” for ignoring people I tend to say “thank you” to being told I’m beautiful or “no sorry” to being asked out by someone who pulls to the side of the road while I’m walking my dog to ask for a date, I don’t even bother telling them I have a boyfriend because they never believe that. When I run outside I always leave one ear bud out to make sure no one comes up behind me… This is my normal. On my 27th birthday this year guys were coming up to my male friend at a bar and telling him how hot I was and saying creepy things and asking permission to talk to me, as though I do not have any say in the matter. The girl I was with told me I was rude for not accepting drinks from strange men I had no interest in. Walking through the mall with my parents AND grandparents at 16, an older man fell into step with us and started saying crude things. I had no words. When I was 18, I went to a tech school for college, about 70% men and I found it difficult to make real guy friends, most ditched me after learning I had no interest. When I broke down to my doctor SHE told me maybe I should try wearing different clothing because I might be leading them on. Despite all of this I feel like the protector when I am out with my girl friends, I stand behind them if I think they’re being leered at or put myself in between them and a creepy guy who’s getting too close. I’ll take the brunt of the abuse and tell a guy to f*** off if he says demeaning things. After so many awful encounters I feel like I have developed a tough skin and I cannot stand to see the sad, scared, defeated looks on my friends’ faces.

Eva Wang

Okay, um, I’m not sure this is much of a story actually, or if I’m really qualified to talk about this. I’m 18 (well, close enough anyway; not gonna use my actual identity) and for all my life I’ve been raised in a very warm and nurturing community (well, as a whole). Never really had sexual harassment here, the most I got are vague memories of catcalling. No, the only tale I have is from years ago: I was about 8 or 9, and I was on my first trip to China. My family hails from there, so it was always exciting when summer rolls around. Not sure exactly where we were- I remember a city and tourist-trappy lakes scattered about the outskirts- but we (My Grandmother, brothers, and I) were walking along a dirt path straddling a rather large and pretty lake when I got separated. It was only a moment, I had lagged behind when I slowed to watch the ducks, but I guess it was enough because in the next breath a beefy hand grabbed my upper arm and began pulling me insistently off the path. I remember the sharp tang of a smell (later my brother noted it was probably alcohol, but I’m not sure) and the numbness of my fingers after (but funnily not the pain of that circulation-blocking grip), a weird sense of shock, alarm, and resignation. Another breath and my 76 year old Grandmother was storming over the stranger, slapping the hell out of him and spewing a color-wheel assortment of mandarin threats. He was gone pretty fast. And then we just carried on, joked about it (I joked about it- I wasn’t sure what else to do). Later on I googling and found out the anti-natal policies of China, and the gender population differences, and the cases of human trafficking- girls and boys disappearing off the street. Sometimes it comes back to me, and I get a cold rush down my back. I only got a taste in my little time there, but many, many girls live in China. Maybe that’s not exactly sexism- I apologize if so, as well as with my poor quantity of experiences.