Public space

Elie

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I have a few, might write some others later but here’s one. When I was around 12 I played for a mixed gender cricket club- I was the only girl though. One week when I went to training there was a new coach, male. We started playing and then it was my turn to bat, with the new coach bowling. I walked up and he said “don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you” with the sort of encouraging smile you might give to a very small child. I felt a sort of indignation and managed to hit the ball very hard over the boundary, at which point he sort of turned to some of the boys and went “oh, she’s alright” then looked back at me and told me “well done sweetheart”. I just felt patronised, and the condescending manner he spoke to me just made me feel so unimportant. Don’t speak to women or girls like this please guys

DIY

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My toilet was overfilling. I looked it up on Youtube and all it needed was a rather large washer. Off I went to a local branch of a well known DIY store. Picked up said washer, at a princely sum of £1.79 I decided to pay cash, waiting in the queue to pay rather than go through self-serve card only tills. Two men in front of me with a trolley full of decorating items were being served. As they had paid up and were leaving the area, the server bypassed me and went directly to the two male customers behind me buying multiple bags of cement. I stood patiently while they were served, and then recognising the error, the server apologised to me, as they had assumed I was with the two male customers before me. 51. Single. I fix my own toilet.

G

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When I was 12 I was walking home from school. I was around 10 minutes away from my house when a car pulled up next to where I was walking. The man wad quite old and he rolled down his window and proceeded to Harass me. He asked me if I wanted a lift home and where I lived and told me he liked my uniform. When I rejected his advances he winked at me and drove off saying he would be back. I panicked and tried to get home much quicker. A few minutes later he pulled up next to me again and got out and tried to force me into his car. I was terrified and managed to get away from him. The second I walked through my front door I burst into tears and I told my dad what happened. We called the police. Am I 17 now and to this day I had never heard back from the police.

Hope

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I was driving with my windows down and came to a stop at the stoplight and I look over and there are two young men who decided to tell me how pretty I was and that I should get their number. I was just trying to feel the wind and listen to music, not be harassed.

A

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I was 14. I had a very big group of friends, and all of them were very toxic. At that age, my family life was horrible, and I coped with it by going out with this group, putting my faith in them to recover from the household mental pression. I’m from Europe, so drinking alcohol while underage is normalized (you’re even getting openly judged if you’re not drinking at a party). So at 14, I was drinking. A lot. One night, completely blacked out, I fell asleep on the couch, right next to the boy who had a huge crush on me. He was drunk too, but still had some sense into him. In front of everyone, he kissed me without my consent. No one did anything. They even started filming and laughing about it. The worst part is that I had a lovely boyfriend by that time, and all of my friends knew it. They sent the video to all they knew. Only one person cared to ask me how I was feeling, and it was the school counselor.

Anonymous

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I am a young high school student and was walking home one day at around 3:30pm, with a bunch of other girls around me and these (middle aged-late twenties) men started whistling and cat-called me. I was so shocked because it never happened before and I knew about it but never expected it to be me. I turned around to look at the girl behind me and she’s looking at me with a face that says “not again”. I walked all the way home and never told anyone because I was ashamed and thought that this was normal.

Immy

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When I was fourteen I was experimenting with my style – like any teenager – and had settled on something gothic/emo. My favourite dress was this purple one that came down to my knees/mid-thigh – I almost always paired it with fishnet tights and long socks, which I suppose made me think I deserved it. I was out with my friends – many of whom dressed in a similar fashion – in our local town centre, and as we were walking there we passed many adults, which is normal, but not when men old enough to be my father were staring at me as I walked past them. I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life and I can only say I’m glad it didn’t get worse. I can only imagine what would have happened to me if I had been walking alone.

A

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To the post on the 20 January 2023 about men with long hair not being asked if they’re gay… Nah, that does happen, a lot. I’ve been called gay, a fag, homo, and many other things. I’ve also been groped and sexually assaulted by women and men. Sometimes the men don’t realize that I’m a man until they grab and I turn around. That one is always fun to see their faces but then they immediately follow it up with a “you fag.”

3x

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When I was a brand new advanced emt student(just turned 18), my first ever time on an ambulance for a clinical, I was sexually harassed. My teacher’s partner had pulled me aside when he was gone, and was telling me about how « everyone’s going to want to fuck you, and i’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to too. Would you ever give me a chance? Your shirt is baggy but I can see what people will like about your body. » I was supposed to be learning. Later, I was told by a different teacher that I was a pedophile’s wet dream, and I looked young but legal. And his partner joked about how i’d be kidnapped at a hospital- by someone else in ems because i’m just so cute. I was laughed at when I told a paramedic I wanted to be a firefighter. « Really? You want to be a firefighter? With all those men? Good luck, you’ll need it. Why would you do that to yourself? »

Anon

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Walking past a pub on match day august 2023 to the supermarket at 5pm(anonymous town in North England) I am a middle aged woman. A group of ” lads” were in the distance and I knew I could neither avoid them or cross the road as there was no pavement. They started jeering seeing their prey descend towards them. One said ” eeh lads would you **** THAT!” No way man, laughter and derogatory comments ensue. What I noticed was one didn’t join in. One. His conscience got the better of him, he had sisters, he was just a decent human. I’ve loads of these experiences sadly and it makes me despair. This is mild and the tip of the iceberg. I think on line pornography exacerbates things and objectified women to the point they are not considered human. Just things to ****.