I always use public transport for my movement. I live in Bangladesh in our country there are 9 seats allocated for women, girl, children and those who are physically disabled. But everyday I have to fight for my seat. From those 9 seats if they are blocked then the bus conductor does not allow any female to get on the bus. If I ask them why did not you get on the bus their saying is like you are a girl you cannot travel by standing and female are disturbing they always make noises. But they allow male very gently.
In summer me and my friend (we are both 16) were at a meal out with her parents and the topic of sexual assault came up n me her mumbled severely played down, glossed over versions of several incidents ranging from being boned by strangers on trains while despite being a minor people did nothing to guys phsically putting there hands inside our pants through our school skirts as they pass us in a shop in the middle of the day, talking about it felt weird but simulatiusly empowering and embarrassing as these are incidents we’ve only joked about in the past – asif they were nothing. Her dad turned to us and said ‘why don’t you just punch them’, men (sorry for the generalisation) need to understand that every time this happens you feel dirty, embarrassed shocked abd paralysed with fear you can barely walk away no matter punch the guy.
at least once every few weeks if I hold a door for a male teacher they will say “thank you, young man” because a girl couldn’t possibly have short hair or wear clothing that isn’t tight or pink.
I am an award-winning authoress, innovator and artist in my noms de plume but I have been left in the lurch without my real name known in association to my noms de plume and wirthout any of my dues: this amidst gross disregard and focussing in misogyny. 2 of my noms de plume are Isabel Allende and Zhang Yimou. This is neither a joke nor a fantasy.
I’ve been with my fiancé for almost 3 years. Last Friday night marks the 4th person, and 4th man, to call me a parasite to my face for having moved in with him super early on. It’s amazing how far certain men will go to demonise a woman. Moving in with your SO = parasite now? While my male SO doesnt get a label at all? Clutching at straws much?
I was on a train, going to visit my partner, standing in the vestibule waiting for my station. A young guy made a suggestive comment at me and I ignored him. He then started to get aggressive and moved to block the exit from the train as it pulled up to the station. I moved forward and took hold of the door handle (not being a shy or retiring type). He took this badly and continued to abuse me while I stood holding the door handle. As the train stopped, I opened the door and he moved onto threats and started yelling at me that he would ‘fuck me up’. I walked away with the back of my neck prickling all the way through the town centre – because I didn’t know if he had followed me.
My father would scream at and abuse me, my mother and sister when I was young. He would tell me I was “stupid,” “worthless”, and “could never manage without a man to support me.” Several times as a teenager I had my bum and breasts touched by men in public spaces, like on escalators. Thankfully, it never went further than that. In later years, I had a boyfriend, who repeatedly cheated on me, begged my forgiveness every time, and blamed me for it because I was “depressed” and it was “wearing him down” When I cheated on him once, in retaliation, to show him how it felt, he told all our mutual friends, both male and female, and turned them all against me. Still later, my husband (different man) became an alcoholic, and when I called him out on getting drunk for the umpteenth time in front of our son, he smugly turned round and said “just remember all the times I helped you when you were depressed,” (read: I was depressed but sober.) I had a male boss once who would call women into his office, alone, point out aspects of their personalities that he found to be “substandard”, and use it as a means if belittling them into complying with his arbitrary rules. He would also make sexist and racist comments in the middle of the office, and bully my female line manager into making him coffee, because “what use is a woman if I haven’t got a coffee in front of me?” He also on several occasions implicitly threatened the safety of my family if I said anything about him. I was in a shop once, and the male store clerk counted out the change wrong, and when I politely pointed it out, he said “I didn’t think ladies could count.” Another time, in a shop, a male customer at the next counter said “do you want to pay for my stuff as well?” When I replied, “No,” he said, “Typically, women love spending men’s money, but they won’t share their own.” I also recently found out that a man at my work is paid £6000 a year more than the female colleagues on his team…even his female line manager! Sexism is everywhere, it is in everything, even in men who think they aren’t sexist. They just can’t see it, because privilege is blind.
Today I was verbally assaulted by a random guy with whom I was standing on the pedestrian crossing. I was wearing a skirt with knee socks. He was weird dressed, he was talking to himself. When he recognises me, he started to have hints (e.g. “mm, your knees are so sexy” or “Would you like to come with me?”) But, I wear it because I like it, not for bringing someone’s attention, and I don’t indicate to anyone to I would like to chat up. I feel comfortable and self-confidently with this outfit, but with those verbal abuses I am only starting to feel like a “bitch” and underestimate myself. This kind of sexism is not so serious, but also really important.
I’ve had a lifetime of harassment. Babysitters, family friends, co-workers, total strangers. I was sent this site today after I revealed a string of incidents in the past few weeks. Two weeks ago, I was groped on public transport. It was such a blink and you’ll miss it moment. But I was on a crowded streetcar, and was standing close to the middle doors. A man behind me, wrapped his arm around my stomach from behind, had a firm feel and then got off the car. It took me a second to even realise what happened, and by the time I did, he was gone. A few days after that, I was on my way to the same location. It was 1am and I was a little drunk. I got out of an uber and turned as I reached the steps of the house. There was a man across the road who turned and locked eyes with me. He immediately started walking towards me and followed me up the stairs of the house and to the front door. Luckily my friend came down to let me in at just the right moment and scared him off. A few nights ago, I was with a bunch of friends having a few drinks. A friend and I were having a totally normal conversation, and out of nowhere he cups one of my breasts. I asked wtf was that, and he laughed and said “you know exactly what that was”. And last night. During my very first shift working behind a bar by myself, I had to deal with a drunken man talking about my breasts and crotch and laughing, while his friend kept looking at me and mouthing the word ” sorry “. When are men (and women!), going to learn that this is not okay! This all happened in a matter of weeks. I could write an essay about all the experiences I’ve had throughout my life. And I’m only 27. I’m mentally exhausted already and something needs to be done about it.
It happened on a school bus. I was a freshman in college and this older boy who was drunk sat next to me. He told me that I was hot but being gay, I had no sexual interest in him. However, I couldn’t vocalize my sexuality because I was deeply closeted. He started to touch me and get closer and I wanted him to stop. I just froze. I couldn’t speak, move, or do anything. Finally when the bus ride ended I ran off and my “friend” told me that I wanted it and that I should just get over it. My “friend” watched me get sexually assaulted and she told me that I wanted it. Today a new friend told me how she is friends with the man who assaulted me and asked me what I thought of him. I hate that even though this was two years ago it still makes me uneasy when his name is brought up. I don’t like the darkness he brought into my life even if he didn’t remember it.