religion

Cally

It annoys me that the three religions of ‘the book’ – Islam, Christianity and Judaism all still operate on an unfair patriarchal philosophy that is thousands of years old. While they’re not all bad (in fact, they’re a lot good), these religions variously exclude women from positions of power, issue onerous behavioural edicts which place the responsibility of men’s poor behaviour onto the shoulders of women and emphasise the glories of men over and above those of women – even now.

Hafsah

Growing up in a Pakistani family, where does one start. For one the boys and men are treated like princes in the home, and with this comes a entrenched aura of entitlement throughout their pathetic lives. Some of the struggles a brown girl may face, constant slut shaming even for the most mundane and conservative articles of clothing, leading to having to leave the house wearing one thing and carrying clothes you actually want to wear in a spare bag. Being expected to constantly clean and cook at family gatherings, whilst the men bask in their own privilege picking their noses. Not being allowed to travel alone abroad, leaving to missed out on experiences and a narrow world view and experiences. Lack of bodily autonomy, god forbid a brown girl is sexually liberated or open minded to not marrying their cousin or the fucking village elder. The run of the mill racism and homophobia, a story of a family friend running away to marry a black man bringing shame and stigma. I for one have been chastised and even prohibited from speaking to many of my black friends. Colourism yes, racism lite as I call it, the darker the uglier and the fairer the pretty, what is beauty standards without rampant colonialism and self-loathing Being told you can’t get certain jobs and earn money for yourself because “it isn’t safe for young girls” Spending the best years of my life at home, because night is the domain of the man, forget having a social life outside of the family lexicon. A family member explaining how she was groped at a family funeral only to be asked “how were you standing though” Just casual dinnertime anti-antisemitism and talk of “jews taking over the world” So many more instances of double standards and patriarchy confined within a cesspit of religion and male hegemony, but i dont have all day. Final thoughts How does one reconcile western values with forced upon, antiquated notions of right and wrong When is one allowed to just be without cultural constraint or judgement

Hannah

I attended a wedding at the weekend in which they had the reading from Ephesians which says “Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church.” The minister took this reading as the inspiration for his sermon and told us that a 14 year old girl at Sunday School had asked him why the Bible was so oppressive towards women. She used that quote as an example. He proceeded to say that he’d told her that the Bible wasn’t oppressive towards women because Christ loves the Church so much that he was happy to sacrifice himself for it and, therefore, if your husband loves you that much then why wouldn’t you want to follow him? “So I won that” he declared. But of course he didn’t win that, he fundamentally misunderstood the question and it saddens me that he is teaching young women that they are second best, that they are not leaders and that their role in life is to marry and follow a man.

Silent Shame

If i had to write my stories about sexism and abuse, it would fill 10 books. I guess i had become the queen of sexism because all men I know starting from own DAD never seen me as a woman but a sex object. What hurts more is not assault and rape itself but, the feeling to know that your pain and suffering wont have value in the eyes of anyone. everyone looking at you as if you failed your duties or broke the dignity. your fellow women looks at you as if you just shamed all women by pointing out the oppressor. Men don’t want to believe it is true because It takes away their power and privilege over women. No-one wants to stand by your side because they dont wanna carry the stigma wherever they go. It even sounds worse when people talk about being disgrace to culture as if you dont hold a space in the world respect. Maybe one can understand the idea of submitting yourself to one man but Why is that all men wants you to prove them u that easy. Its all messed up for real, not even our mothers want to hear that because first word and assumption is that you could have went around it. Around where? around what? Noone is sage until men understand that they are seek, no different to Dictatorship system where women are the target and have to follow what men desires. Men are sick and noone wants to say that because, they are the ones making those fucking decision anywhere. People want to make you feel as if its suppose to happen and you are supposed to SHUTUP.

Altar Server

The pastor at my church told me to “Let the boys handle that, it’s too heavy for you” when I tried to carry something after mass.

Sarah

A fellow academic at an elite UK university told me today that she felt we should all wear a cardigan when lecturing students because a male student had complained that female lecturers wearing sleeveless tops were distracting. We have male academics who wear jeans to work, and none of the students have commented on this. I find this infuriating and now wear sleeveless (smart) tops everyday to work, even if I am cold.

Anna

Often our church office administrator will receive phone calls from someone asking to speak to the pastor. When the call is forwarded to me, the pastor, the person calling sometimes says, “oh. May I speak with the Senior Pastor,” implying that as a woman I couldn’t possibly be the senior pastor. I experience this as well when meeting someone for the first time and answering the question, “what do you do for a living?” Even though I answer, “I’m a pastor,” the person will assume I mean children’s pastor and will ask me questions about the children’s ministry of the church.

Anon

I am a pastor. I do almost everything my male colleagues do – preach, counsel, teach, visitations, etc. I graduated from seminary with multiple academic awards. But I do not have the title “pastor”, even though I have equivalent (and in some cases higher) qualifications than my male colleagues. I am excluded from being able to conduct or even serve the Eucharist. I am excluded from the possibility of being ordained (a process in which the entire church affirms your vocation and calling, after which one is given the title “Reverend”.) I am excluded from the possibility of ever being in the top level of leadership and decision-making. And my lead pastor could ask me, “You mean you feel oppressed here?” Routinely when I introduce myself or what I do professionally, a look of confusion or disbelief crosses people’s faces. Often I have to repeat or explain several times what it is that I do. When I mention that I work in church, most assume I do administrative support. Because people cannot comprehend that a young female can or would be in a pastoral role. I love my God, my faith and my church. But having my legitimacy questioned on a regular basis just because of my gender really wears me down.

Kitty

A few things: I caught the end of some bike race or other (Tour de Azerbaijan?) on the Eurosport channel recently, just in time to see the male winner being kissed on the cheek by 2 beautiful young women after he’d been presented with his trophy. We received our copy of this month’s Parish Bulletin with all the usual religiosity that’s part & parcel of it. There’s a list of prayers for the month, & one of the prayers is adjuring readers to “give thanks for the example of the Blessed Virgin Mary; her humility & obedience.” Yes, let’s be thankful that a woman is ‘setting a good example’ by being humble & obedient! Barf city!