sexual assault

Louise

I was at a concert at 16 years old in the standing area in front of the stage and some guy started groping my bum and stroking me up and down my legs. I moved away to try and escape him but he followed me and started doing it again. Had to literally push through so many people to get away from him because he wouldn’t stop. I felt so embarrassed and rude for pushing past all those people but I had not other choice.

Human

My friend text me just over a week ago panicking – She didn’t tell me why straight away, but kept repeating that she “didnt mean to” and that her boyfriend “is going to hate [her]”. I found out the next day that she had been raped by her ex. He had randomly text her (knowing she has a boyfriend) asking her to meet him. She had debated for about an hour to go or not before going, and I dont know what happened until it happened. She kept telling him “no” and “I dont want to” and “stop it”, but he just said “I dont care” and “i love you”. Their relationship had been very manipulative, towards my friend, and she had sort of convinced herself that he was telling the truth. She told me that she “shouldnt have worn such a low cut top” and that she “must’ve looked like a slut” and how she thought it was her fault and that her boyfriend would hate her because she had “cheated”. I just kept telling her that it wasnt cheating cause she didnt want it, it wasnt her fault, hes a d*ck, etc… She still hasnt told her boyfriend because her mom told her that he would dump her if he found out. Her ex’s mom is a teacher in school, which doesnt help, and she keeps saying that she’s lying about it being rape because her son “wouldnt do that”. The police have said he probably wont get charged because he’s only 17 (she’s also 17), but I looked into it and he could get up to 8 years (because there was an aggravating factor) – they just cant be bothered to sort out another young girl. Her mom sent her to her dads, because it was too stressful for her, without even considering my friends feelings. I’m the only one that knows who isnt her family, the police, or her ex’s family. The main points from this are: – A girl was raped, but the police dont really care. – She is blaming it on what she wore, not the person, because of what others have said. – She wont tell her boyfriend because she thinks it was her fault. This isnt okay.

Cleo

Im a pretty smart girl. I get A’s in all my classes, especially math. So, I became a tutor at my high school. I love helping people. But, some things have happened during my time there are unacceptable. I will list them now. 1) I was helping this senior with calculus (I was a sophomore at the time) and he kept claiming that I was doing it wrong, and took over and so helpfully “explained” calculus to me. It’s important to mention that everything he said was completely wrong, and when I pointed this out to him, he claimed that I was just pissed cause someone proved that I was just like all the other dumb blondes. I never tutored him again and am smug to report that he didn’t graduate. He was one credit away. Calc. 2) This junior kept making sexual innuendoes throughout the lesson, even though I made it clear that I was lesbian. When the session was over, he grabbed my ass as I was leaving. I slapped him across the face and I almost got suspended for unprovoked assault. Unprovoked my Ass. 3) A sophomore attempted to rape me after a tutoring session 4) This douchey junior kept mansplaining the trigonometry to me, even though he was the one flunking trig. I know that a lot of these are just minor offenses, but still thought I’d share. Women, just so you know, high school tutoring involves a LOT of douchebag stoners who think they’re better than you because they have a dick and you don’t.

Kellie

I was in nursing school at a state university at the time the event happened. As part of my studies, I had clinicals at a local hospital and cared for patients directly. While I was in the ICU for clinicals, I had a negative experience that stands out to me. To adhere to HIPAA, all information will be de identified, and the patient in question will be referred to as “John Doe.” Mr. Doe was a post stroke patient, out of the proverbial woods, but still weak on one side. It was a textbook CVA case, and I was initially glad to have an “easier” patient. I started to feel uncomfortable, however, when I did my assessments and regular checks. Mr. Doe asked if I was in a relationship, if I’d date an older man. He called me “pretty,” “sweetheart,” and “hon.” I didn’t like it, but I was used to being harassed as a young nursing student. Later that day, I had to help transfer Mr. Doe for an imaging test. Essentially, I had to support his weak side so he could move safely to a wheelchair. During the transfer, Mr. Doe groped my buttocks and genitals over my clothes with his weak hand. I couldn’t get away from the touch without causing a fall, so I had to move Mr. Doe to his wheelchair while his hand was between my legs. I felt dirty and used. I was a nursing student. My job was to provide healthcare and to make sure my patient was safe and healthy. Instead, I’d been treated like an object there for an old man’s sexual gratification. I handled the situation as I was trained to do. I reported the incident to my preceptor. She told me, “Older men like to flirt with the younger girls. It makes them feel young again.” I was appalled. My safety and well-being was clearly less important to my preceptor than my patient’s ability to assault me. Unfortunately, I did not report the incident to the hospital or to my university. Sexual violence against female healthcare providers is so common, it’s seen as part of the job. Nearly half of first year nurses leave the profession, and we have a critical nursing shortage nationwide. With experiences like mine commonplace, it’s not hard to see why.

Lili

A few years ago I was sexually assaulted on the street. It was four o’clock in the afternoon and I was minding my own business when I was attacked by an opportunist taking advantage of the fog and the winter light. The incident left me traumatised, especially as it happened in my own neighbourhood. When I found out that a number of women had been attacked via the local newspaper , but worried women in my area seemed to be uninformed, I took matters into my own hands and contacted the local press (Nottingham Evening Post) anonymously, telling them that I wanted them to run my story, in the hope of raising awareness. I wish I hadn’t. First of all, they clearly had no concern for my own safety, wishing to print a photo of me on the front page. When I said they could photograph me from the back only, then they took me to the place where I had been assaulted – which was of course traumatic – and took a photo of me from behind. As a result, I felt reduced to a ‘victim’, stripped of my humanity, with the readers lapping up the tale of my distress. They also changed my age to make me younger than I am, supposedly because this gives them a ‘sexier’ sexual assault. They ignored the details of how I had fought back and even chased after my attacker, trying to punch him to the ground and keep him there until someone could come and help. Instead they repeated the juicy details of how he ‘had a mad look in his eyes and seemed totally out of control’. I foolishly didn’t learn my lesson from this, perhaps traumatised at the time by the fact that more women were being attacked and wanting to do something to help, and so when a women’s magazine (Glamour magazine) contacted me via the paper, I agreed to talk to them too. The female journalist on the phone gave me a ‘girl power’ type speech about how I’d be helping other women to convince me to do it, but they repeated the same kind of reporting style as before, all sinister horror movie details and ignoring the practical advice I gave about carrying a rape alarm, taking self-defence classes etc. I am writing this to warn women now, not to ever speak to the press if they have been the victims of a sexual attack unless they are absolutely sure of what the journalist will print and have a power to veto. I was left thoroughly disgusted with their treatment of my case, and I know many women have had it a lot worse.

Big Four

I worked at a Big Four accounting and audit firm, and a partner invited my whole team out for drinks after work one evening. At the end of the evening, he cornered me and attacked me. He very forcefully tried to rape me, but I managed to escape before he could. I reported it to the company and the police. The police are investigating. There were no witnesses – he’s not stupid enough to attack a woman in front of other people. There’s no physical evidence of his attack because I stopped him before he could rape me. Ironic, isn’t it, that protecting myself from rape means the rapist can go free. The Big Four firm did a half-assed investigation and said it’s “he said, she said”, so they can’t take any disciplinary action against the partner. Then they let me go from my job. This is what happens in a male dominated industry, where partners are masters of their own domain and basically impossible to fire as they’re not technically employees. So who gets fired? The victim. Nice. Don’t believe a word when you read these Big Four companies talk about how female-friendly they are. It’s just good marketing.

Big Four

I worked at a Big Four accounting and audit firm, and a partner invited my whole team out for drinks after work one evening. At the end of the evening, he cornered me and attacked me. He very forcefully tried to rape me, but I managed to escape before he could. I reported it to the company and the police. The police are investigating. There were no witnesses – he’s not stupid enough to attack a woman in front of other people. There’s no physical evidence of his attack because I stopped him before he could rape me. Ironic, isn’t it, that protecting myself from rape means the rapist can go free. The Big Four firm did a half-assed investigation and said it’s “he said, she said”, so they can’t take any disciplinary action against the partner. Then they let me go from my job. This is what happens in a male dominated industry, where partners are masters of their own domain and basically impossible to fire as they’re not technically employees. So who gets fired? The victim. Nice. Don’t believe a word when you read these Big Four companies talk about how female-friendly they are. It’s just good marketing.

Jane Doe

It happened on a school bus. I was a freshman in college and this older boy who was drunk sat next to me. He told me that I was hot but being gay, I had no sexual interest in him. However, I couldn’t vocalize my sexuality because I was deeply closeted. He started to touch me and get closer and I wanted him to stop. I just froze. I couldn’t speak, move, or do anything. Finally when the bus ride ended I ran off and my “friend” told me that I wanted it and that I should just get over it. My “friend” watched me get sexually assaulted and she told me that I wanted it. Today a new friend told me how she is friends with the man who assaulted me and asked me what I thought of him. I hate that even though this was two years ago it still makes me uneasy when his name is brought up. I don’t like the darkness he brought into my life even if he didn’t remember it.

Estín

I work on weekend nights selling food to the drunk people on a night out. We naturally talk to the people in the bars and the doormen, so i thought nothing of it when i was on a Night out myself, that i then also would continuesly talk to the people befriended from work. I went into a dark corridor of the club, one only used by staff. One of the men i had befriended was there and i thought nothing of it, cause we were just friends, a kind of colleages. As i walked past him to get to the door leading into the club, he kissed me, hard and unexpected… he pushed me up against the wall and i scrambled to get to the doorhandle. He held my arms above my head and put his hand into my pants. I escaped him and barged through the door and straight into a bussy club where people stared at me. It was the most horrible experience of my life, and i cant stop crying and worry about next time i go to work.

codie

When I was fourteen, I was catcalled for the first time. I was wearing jeans and a jumper. When I was fifteen, I was sexually assaulted by my best friend of two years. I tried to commit suicide not long after. Now I’m sixteen, and I’m followed home by drunk men after late shifts at work. I’m scared. But apparently it’s not a thing to be scared of men.