stranger

Flora

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I´m am 19 and writing a thesis on sexualised assault on women. I was supposed to be finished in June, but whilst writing in January i had a mental breakdown, because I realised the depth of my own experiences. Especially one incident, that occurred 2 years prior, where a friend, that I loved deeply but platonically, sexually abused me. Until January I was mostly convinced that everything was mostly my fault because my heart would break even more knowing that he could and would do such a thing to me. Since then I have begun to grasp the daily sexism and violations against me and remember my naïve conversation with a guy who repeatedly tried to force himself on me and stopping after repeatedly saying no and or running away. When he realised the vileness of his actions he sat down with me one day and told me how sorry he was and that he sees now the barbarity he had done, I responded (at the age around 16) with: don’t worry about it, I’m used to it, happens all the time.

Yelled at by strange man

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About a year ago, I was sat at the train station waiting for my train home. It was late but there were plenty of others waiting there. A man was sat next to me and everyone was minding their own business when he suddenly started talking aloud as if on the phone, not looking at anyone in particular. I hadn’t looked up at all as he didn’t address me but apparently he was talking to me and suddenly he started yelling that I was rude, I was acting like a princess, ignoring a nice person trying to chat with me. He got up and was stomping his feet and kept yelling. Thankfully a young man stood up and distracted him and sat him down on the other side of the room. Without looking up or back and very scared, I ran out of there and took the bus home instead.

20s, Female, England, Bar

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Stand back up straight after leaning over bar to talk to bar staff about my order for my colleagues. Stranger guy next to me leers over and informs me how he ‘was so tempted to spank your ass’. I’m just kinda shocked and mutter a no. Regretting my choice of short dress. He informed me ‘bet you’d secretly love that’ Wish I’d called him out, but I didn’t.

Ashleigh

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Every time I go out partying with my friends, being fondled or groped is a guarantee, but a few months ago I was left alone in the middle of a crowded club, a man approached me and grabbed at my waist talking to me. I couldn’t hear him, but I replied ‘sorry, I’m just looking for my friend’. He didn’t let go of me, and I pushed his arms off and ignored his continuing advances. I have never really had an extremely violent response from rejecting a guy, but this man grabbed my forearm yanking me towards him and began shouting into my face. “Who the fuck do you think you are ignoring me? You stuck up bitch, you don’t ignore me.” And I was petrified as he grabbed at my bum. I wanted to sob as no one was helping me, and the man was at my face, but I’d heard of girls who fought back and got glasses smashed in their faces. My mother always taught me to just walk away from these kind of men, but she never said what to do if they followed you. Eventually, I was able to wiggle myself away from his grip after a harder shove at him. I considered myself lucky that I managed to escape. That same night, another boy, who was my friend, groped my chest and held me to him forcefully by shaking an arm around my waist and pinning me to his back. The next morning I told my Mum, she didn’t seem worried, I’m still not sure if any of this constitutes as sexual assault.

AngerLady

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So many of these, in so many places. Some guy grabbed me and put his arms around me in a busy street the other day. I was too shocked to do anything, continued on my way and went into the supermarket a block away. When I came back out, the same guy attempted to do it again, but I yelled “you don’t f**ing tocuh people you don’t know!” Smirks from random people. I live in a beautiful city in Western Europe, and this man was local. I’m also 45 years old. I thought this crap would be over by now.

Sam

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I was walking out to my car after working the night shift and a car full of high school aged boys drove past. One of them leaned out his window and yelled “How do you like pizza bitch!” and threw a piece of pepperoni pizza at me, hitting me on my back.

Holly

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Today I bought a new (well, third-hand) car. My dad suggested he take a photo of me with it, and as he did, a passing man said, “If I buy the car, does the girl come free?” There are several things that would explain my upset feelings here: – he’s talking about me as though I’m a possession; – he’s giving the car more value than me.. I’m a free gift to sweeten the deal, it seems; – he’s talking to my dad as though he’s in a position to sell me/my car; – he’s referring to me as a ‘girl’ (I am 30); But the thing that annoyed me most in the moment was that I couldn’t say anything because he thought he was paying me a compliment. To point out I was upset would seem brash, and to play along would be flirting. But he had good intentions. So I said nothing. Then I felt upset on the way home, instead of enjoying my car!

Leah

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I’d recently taken a trip to Germany, and, while visiting the city square in Dresden, was approached by a man who was probably in his early-to-mid thirties. I’m under twenty, and I had wandered a few steps away from my friends to have a quick chat with someone on the phone (in English); this guy heard me, struck up a conversation, and even though he was speaking with a perfectly friendly tone of voice, I kept catching him glancing down at my body, and the whole time that I had talked with him he had this kind of creepy look on his face, so I was a little nervous. He asked me where I was staying, when I was going back home, things like that, but most of my answers were lies. Eventually, we finish up, and he holds out his hand for me to shake, which I do, and then he asks me for a hug. I sort of stutter and I can’t say anything, so he asks again. Wanting to get away, I cave in and give him a really quick hug. He didn’t grope me or steal anything or anything else like that, but that whole encounter has just left a bad taste in my mouth and since I’ve though of it I keep questioning whether or not I’m being paranoid, and if I only imagined him looking at my legs or thought that the questions were too personal. It’s been hard to get it out of my head, and I don’t feel like I can really talk to anyone about it, since it wasn’t overt and he hadn’t actually done anything that hurt me.