I was just having a funny snapchat convo with this boy in one of my classes about whether books were worthwhile or not and suddenly, after not saying anything for a while, he sends two words. suck me. I didn’t respond. I took a picture of it (not a screenshot, I used another device) and saved it so that I have proof. I am shaking at this point, in fact I’m still shaking now. I told my friend about it. I sent her the pictures I took, and she said “Haha. Ya. That’s funny.” Then she said she had to go. I said its not funny and asked if she had gotten them. The answer had apparently been yes. She said that “the last thing he had said was strange, but it was all really funny.” I suppose that could have been fair enough. The first part of the conversation had been funny. I asked her if she knew what suck me meant, because while I thought she did, she certainly wasn’t acting like it. She did know what it meant. I responded, “That’s not strange, that’s sexual harassment.” Because it was. She told me, “It’s fine. He’s a teenaged boy. That’s what they do.” I sent her a series of three texts after that. They read, “It’s not fine. They need to learn to control themselves. If they don’t now they never will.” “Next step, he’s older and hes yelling that at women across the street, maybe he’s even grabbing them or slapping their ass or something.” “There’s no excuse” She ended the conversation with “We can talk about this hilarious conversation tomorrow. I have to eat now. Bye.” and that was it. I felt violated and disgusting. Was I leading him on in any way? At all? I don’t think I was, but after this I dont feel sure. I was also disgusted and disappointed with how casually she treated it. It can’t just be treated as boys will be boys. It cant. If thats how we treat it then they could end up being a rapist, or at least sexually harassing women. It’s not okay, it’s never okay, and no age justifies it. This is how rape culture has affected people’s outlook on sexual harassment. This is not okay. This is never okay. I know I’m not the only one with a story like this. A lot of people have much worse stories. This needs to end. (I also posted this on tumblr)
When I was abou 13-14 years old, I remember, a friend of our family and actually my sister’s godfather, started “coming over” quite a lot. It was just like him visiting us and chatting drinking coffee with my mim and myself, who were usually at home (after school). He himself had a daughter and a son, quite closed to my age. So, He started coming over for nearly everyday and was everytime very interested in what I was doing. So interested that my Moment was Wanderung why eh came over so much and why eh was so interested in me. He wouldnt stop asking me questions like “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” or “i would Understand why the boys Must like you” or would comment about my apperance, my eye-liner or something else. One time he even commented about my tits (“oh you have big tits for your age, good for you, I’ve Heard men/boys Must like that.”) next to my mum (she Said nothing in response). I also Never knew how to respond to that. Also, when i was Reading a magazine for teenagers (called “BRAVO”), which everybody read at my age, he Flickend through it and showed me the Pages of a naked Boy and girl (“Dr. Sommer” would answer to questions about the body) and making commented about them. It made me Feel very uncomfortable and i didn’t want him to come over and be always at our home anymore, but on the other side i couldn’t go anywhere else, which made me feel trapped and I didn’t say anything because I felt ashamed and didn’t Know if that behaviour was right or wrong. So in the end my mum Asked him about it and he confessed he had crush on me (or something like that) and wouldn’t come over anymore. My sister was very sad, because he was very nice (like you are actually to a child) to her and I felt very guilty about it. I felt like i destroyed a family’s friendship. I can say after that I was seriously scared about men and didn’t want anything to do with them for a long time. I didn’t Tell my sister anything, until she was 18.
I’m 14, but every time I’m in the city I get catcalled or winked at. When I tell someone, they tell me to just cross the road. Why should I have to cross the road but they don’t have to get some common decency?
on a school trip i had brought lots of my favourite clothes that i wanted to waer while away, i was especially looking forward to wearing a lacy black top. however when I put it on to wear one day, when i asked other girls what they thought of it they all said it was ‘too slutty’ and that i would look like the ‘slutty’ girls in our year. because they had said this i lost lots of confidence and didn’t wear my favourite top bc other people were telling me that wearing something revealing is instantly giving off the wrong message — when the thing that’s actually wrong is people sexualising a 13 yo girl’s clothes. now im sure the girls arent sexist, many of my freind in the group say they agree with feminism, but still. i think that what happened was sexist because it made my own choice about my own body into something inherently sexual and that would distract boys.
My teacher in my school when I was 16. Gave me a summerjob in his shop he owned and worked in while not teaching. I thought it was because I was a good student with talent. And ended up working all the while that man, my teacher, commented on my “young, tight body”, and other sexualized remarks, also claiming I should FEEL PROUD and HONORED that men commented my body. I didn’t dare to ask him to stop but I felt terrified and horribly stressed and anxious all.the.time. The worst was once, when he drove me home, and kept staring at my legs (I had shorts on, it was a hot day), and just and just stopped himself from leaning in towards me and I really shyed away visibly. Seemed like he was going to try to kiss me. Then he started talking about his marriage and how boring it was. After that car-ride the commenta faded a bit, and he got more mean, assigning difficult tasks and then mouthing on me for not being fast enough or effective enough. My motivation for work plummeted that summer. And I started having problems with sleep which meant that I sometimes was a bit late for work too, which I got to hear about of course. Luckily he did not return to teach at my school next year. But that has marked a lot of my future like a scar. I trusted him. And he did THAT.