I was out having a good time with my boyfriend and his friends. One of the friends went up to my boyfriend to tell him to take me home because I’m not enjoying myself. I was. If the guy really thought I wasn’t enjoying myself, why did he go to my boyfriend and not me? And why can’t I make my own decision on whether I want to go home or not? This has happened on multiple occasions
As an 18 year old female in today’s society it worries me what the future holds for my children. Being told from a young age by my parents that it isn’t safe walking home alone especially as a female seems unfair since my gender shouldn’t impact on my safety any more than it does my brother’s when he’s only a year older than myself. Despite this I have found myself making the decision to walk back 20 minutes from the club to my uni accommodation because it’s not only free but I like the fresh air and seems more environmentally friendly even if that sounds stupid. My most recent encounter prompted me to post into the everyday sexism page, not because I suffered violence or extreme harassment but because the reality of the situation shocked me. The occasional catcall in the street I am used to (this itself shouldn’t seem right just because I have different physical features to my male peers) but after walking back around three quarters of the way I was on the home stretch of the university campus. I heard footsteps behind me as someone was running towards me which made me nervous as to what would happen but the “excuse me are you okay?” made me turn around to realise it was a hotel staff member from the establishment I had just passed. He then proceeded to ask if I needed a taxi and asked when I had been that night, after telling him where and reassuring him that I was okay since I could see my accommodation, what then happened was what made me more infuriated than the frequent sexual harassment myself and I know others deal with on a daily basis. “Can I have your number?” shocked is a massive understatement to say the least, someone I thought was looking out for my safety and checking that I got home alright led to an opportunity to ask me out after the 10 second encounter he had with me. It made me question whether he did actually care or worry about a lone female walking home or if it was his way of getting an opportunity to talk to me because he saw a girl in a dress (and scruffy trainers may I add) walking past his place of work. It’s hard to know if this was a genuine case of misogynistic behaviour or just someone that was genuine but later asked for my number. The fact that I have to question this as someone who has just started university and has yet to actually start life as an adult tells me it wasn’t a situation that was acceptable. I’m disappointed is all I can say and wanted to take this opportunity to share with others I know care about gender equality and removing threats and acts of sexism in everyday life. Thank you for taking the time to read this, it means a lot x
At the university I go to this boy is running for the position of female officer on the platform of abolishing consent talks and the ‘special treatment’ women receive at the university
Hi, I’m a Telecom Engineer, I’m Italian and I’m 30th years old. During the university period I was good at studying and I worked hardly to reach good results. But when I took high marks for exams, most of my friends laughed, and told me that it was just because of my good-looking. No credit for the effort then, just for my boobs and my smile. Well, I finished university and I had a lot of job interviews. During these interviews the HRs asked my not many about my technical and scientific knowledge. Instead, they asked if I wanted to have a family, what if I had to choose between job and family, and even if I was engaged, if I lived together with my boyfriend, how long and if it was something serious. Sounds terrible, right? I started working for a big telecom company as engineer. I worked a lot using the phone to talk with colleagues. Nobody took me seriously and every time I answered the phone I had to explain that I was the network engineer and not the secretary. It was often impossible to explain this concept to the technicians who spoke with me: sometimes I had to give up and call some male colleague. When they finally understood that I was actually the engineer, then they began to insult me. At best, instead of insulting me, they invited me for a date. Good. Once a colleague told me these exact words: you want to be a “2.0 female”, but your place is just behind the stove, changing diapers, and that’s just the way it is. You cannot change the reality. Ok, I cannot change the reality, but anyway I changed job. Now, the situation is pretty good, but I’m still the only girl in my office and I have no family. After years, when I go to job meetings, when I meet my colleagues even from other countries, we are always very few girls. Very few. What if I really cannot change the reality? What if it’s true?
When I was 9 or 10 years old, my neighbour who was two years older used to isolate me in corners of the street where we grew up in (everyone played outside no one wondered where we were) and he would force me to kiss him and pull my trousers down. He did this to many other females my age and this went on for about a year until he got caught by a woman sexually assaulting another girl around my age too. After that, as I proceeded to High School, in year 7, 8 and 9, the majority of females from my year had to endure being sexually harassed every single day. Boys would come up to us and slap our backsides, they would inappropriately touch our private parts and always call us sluts and whores, even though we always wore baggy jumpers and trousers to try avoid it. None of the teachers helped until one day two boys ran up to a girl and slapped her so hard she cried so much. Why did it have to get to that point for someone to finally listen to us? We were always blamed. I hated most of the males in my school. I really despise these memories, I so wish that future generations will teach schools about sex education to a much larger extent, teach males that it is not okay to touch females without their consent, teach them to understand they do not have any entitlement over females, teach them that they cause great harm to so many of us. It is so wrong for so many females to grow up in such a society and even worse that we’re brought up to not talk about it and to believe we are to blame. I get into deep conversations with many females and I always bring this topic up of sexual abuse/harassment because I want to learn that I am not alone in my thoughts, and I always find that the majority of females I talk to, have experienced horrendous things in the same way I did. Just want to also add that I think this page is a wonderful idea to help spread awareness and I sure hope it goes a long way.
A few months before I started my freshman year of college, I attended a freshman welcome weekend. The first day there, I met a boy whose home town was near mine, and we attended some of the events together. It was completely platonic and I thought he seemed like a nice person. I was glad to have made a friend, since I didn’t know anyone else there. On the last morning of the welcome weekend, he texted me and asked if I’d like to go get breakfast. When I met him at his room, he opened the door wearing nothing but boxers, with a very obvious erection, and grabbed me and tried to kiss me. It was completely unexpected. I ran away, without saying anything. I still feel uncomfortable when I see him, and I hope he doesn’t remember me.
4 days ago was the Women’s Day and I posted a quote by Emma Watson saying”If you believe in equality,you are a feminist. Sorry to tell you.”. Friends started greeting me like “hello feminist!” or “you’re a feminist one” etc, but they made fun at me, because in their minds feminism is something really bad and sexism does not exist at all. I was talking to one of my male friends and he said to me that he is not a feminist, because “..that movement wants men to change and lose the game of pursuing women. I mean you ask too much. If you want equality in the workplace, ok I stand for you, but you want to change us.” He does not understand. He does not get it. I got attacked under my house, a week before Christmas, by a pervert, who grabbed me by my back and touched me like…It traumatized me. Or three days ago, I was going to work and two friends shouted at me” Hey girl,would you give me your ass to bang?”. I ignored them, but I shouldn’t have. That makes me angry. We are just so used at it. Catcalling, funny names, sexist jokes, labelling, AND THEY THINK THAT SEXISM IS NOT A THING. How come? They tell me who to be, what to wear, I hold my keys at night and pretend to talk on the phone, because even the street, where my home is, isn’t safe anymore.They judge me by the length of my skirt. Yes my skirt is mini and no I wouldn’t care if my bf would mind it, because it’s about my clothes, my body and I will wear whatever I want. I’m really sorry about all that. I didn;t know that I felt that angry now. And sorry about my mistakes. I am from Greece, sexism is something you face everyday here. Well, I am disappointed. And angry. And frustrated.
I was at dinner with friends and one girl came straight from her internship to the restaurant. Over drinks she mentioned that there weren’t many good looking guys in the office, actually it was mostly younger women and that women held most of the top spots in the company. I said something about girl power and she laughed and said something about the guys not really minding. I said I thought that it was great that the men didn’t feel emasculated by strong women, to which she replied, no i think it’s because they enjoy the pool of attractive girls to look at and that I sounded like a “right feminist”. I said well yes of course I am, what’s wrong with that, and she said she wasn’t one and that it wasn’t very attractive to men when women are overtly feminist. Also that it’s fine that I am one, but she doesn’t like it when feminists “push their agenda”. As if equality is somehow a nefarious agenda. Honestly, what fresh hell is this? She’ll go along with feminism when it’s under a spice girls slogan, but not when gender equality is actually referred to. Another girl in this group also said she doesn’t understand why people protest anything, that it’s pointless and women don’t really have anything to complain about nowadays when I mentioned I was thinking about going to a march that was set up to bring attention a speight of rapes and sexual assaults in my area. This first girl also constantly pushes nights out on the group that boys she’s talking to are going to be at, and on more than one occasion has then cancelled on us after we’ve agreed because she’s got a tinder date instead. I have no issue at all with her seeing multiple boys and enjoying dating, but it’s getting very hard to mask my irritation whenever she makes her life completely revolve around these boys, especially when she does so in a way that prioritises them over her friends.
In my lunch room at a major university, the conversation turned to politics. There were repeated references to “balls” and “pricks” (the size there of) and a lot of laughter, banter, and ridicule. As a thinking woman, I was appalled by the position my male colleagues were put in while occupying the same space. I feel we need to support all forms of casual sexism and ridicule. Normalizing being as bad as the worst examples of misogynistic behaviour is not a good or useful response. We all deserve compassion and not to be victimized on the basis of the lowest exemplars of our genders. I felt ashamed. If my male colleagues had done the same, they would have been reported and sacked.
I was out of my house for all of 5 minutes to pick up some milk from the petrol station. It’s less than a 500ft journey from my front door. While i was at the till the guy who had been served before me went to leave and then came back round behind me. I turned around because the man behind the till was looking at him strangely and when I faced him he said phwoar and gave me a leery look up and down, so I rolled my eyes and turned away to ignore him. Then as I left the petrol station shop I had to walk past the cars and the man and his friend said ‘oi smile for us, smile’, I shot them a very unimpressed look and carried on walking past and they shouted ‘oi smile at us come on smile’ and then muttered something I couldn’t hear and laughed as I got further away. I’ve actually had a much scarier experiences that started by the same petrol station and one slightly further up the same road before I lived here and if I hadn’t been under bright lights and probably on cctv it would have been really quite intimidating. Getting pretty sick of this shit tbh