Tag Archives: walking home

B

Across my time in secondary school, I’ve been faced with countless unwanted sexual passes. The most memorable of these was when I was still 15, two boys (aged around 12/13) walked past me while I was walking to my lesson saying that they wanted to have sex with me (Even though both of us were under the age of consent). As time went on I just seemed to get used to these sort of things, I just thought it was part of being a girl. When I was lining up with the rest of my year group for a mock exam, one boy (surrounded by his friends) publicly asked me to have sex with him. It was so humiliating and when I told my Mum about it she simply stated that “he was probably just hormonal” and to let it be. Similarly, when I was around 17 I had an old man drive up for me and ask me if I wanted a lift home. I didn’t know this man and instantly refused without even thinking properly because I was scared. Now I don’t know his motives: whether he was being friendly or if he had sinister intentions but this event has actually terrified me. Before I finished college I would walk home and try my hardest to avoid anyone on the route. Even though I’m 18, I’m really scared to leave my house alone in case something like this – or even worse – were to happen to me.

Our Journey home this Friday gone.

I have numbered the incidents to avoid confusion. Within one hour: At a pub with friends and have guys rubbing up against me and not taking no/stop it for an answer. (1) I find my friend to leave. She’d been talking to a guy for half an hour about how sad it is that girls have to tell guys they’re not interested (she’d told him she was gay&not interested) and him saying how he was a feminist warrior, before grabbing her and forcing a kiss without asking when he knew she didn’t want it. (2) We leave and have a car stop by with two guys spouting the usual slurs, *whistles* “hey girls” etc we tell them it’s inappropriate. They laugh.. more slurs. Drive off. (3) I turn and a man who’s walking past is frowning at the car, so I say “you can’t just walk home, can you? Someone always has to try something!” He says “I’m coming home with you.” (4) “No that’s OK, we’re fine. Thanks” He smirks “No i’m with you.” This argument lasts 15 minutes before it escalates. We have now stopped walking towards home to make sure he doesn’t follow us. He is now saying he is our security guard, (except that he’s trying to hold us and touch our faces and take our hands). He is starting to look very confused because his plan isn’t working. He crouches with his head in his hands. He’s still arguing. A guy walks around the corner (5) and I make eye contact with him while telling (4) that we don’t want him to follow us. (5) had seen us and been looking as he was walking by. (4) Grabs my legs, he’s clinging to them I pull free and start to say louder “stop following us!” I am maintaining eye-contact with (5) hoping he’ll notice I need help. My thinking is that it’s safer to get help by a passer by that for us to run into an empty street where (4) will keep following us. Eventually (5) stops. He looks at us and (4) trying to touch and grab us. (5) starts to rub his crotch, circling it and licking his lips. He’s making direct eye-contact with me. I run towards him. I guess I was feeling so hopeless it felt like I had nothing to loose. (5) realises I’m coming towards him and starts to shout “f*** off!” repeatedly. When I get to him I grab his hand, I’ve already started crying. I tell him how terrifying it is everyday that this happens so often and that when you think you can see someone to get some help – and they just see it as an opportunity just like the last. It means it will never stop. That I could be his sister or mother. That we needed someone to help. That what he did was so scary already and on top of that, that he would have let whatever he saw happening to us, happen, and not have even remembered in the morning. (5) looks scared now, scared at me. He keeps saying sorry but he’s still not stopping (4) from grabbing me and trying to touch me and my friend – yes, (4) was still there and (5) still disregarding that we needed help from him. When I’ve finished saying this, (5) gets away as quick as he can. (4) is still repeating that he’s coming home with us. We shout at him to go home and start running. My friend noticed as we set off that there had been a guy (6) walking by and watching the whole time. He saw and did nothing. We keep running down the road and around the corner. When we realise (4) hasn’t kept following us that far, we both collapse. I guess emotional exhaustion. There is a girl and a guy up this road, they both look and they guy keeps walking. The girl doesn’t. I see her turn and she’s shouting something I can’t hear. I can’t reply. I can’t talk I’m sobbing too hard, we can’t make sense of much anymore. Just completely in shock. She starts to walk to us and helps us up. She asks us if we’re OK and walks us the whole way home. Her friend didn’t say anything to us and didn’t stop until the girl started walking back to us. He may have been in shock, but all I can think is that he saw us and carried on walking. Every person on that road either joined in or let it happen. Every person until a girl saw us.