I have to admit, I am a man. Please don’t think of my negatively for posting this, I am not trying to complain, more just sharing a story which opened up my eyes to the kind of behaviour which is normally, unfortunately, directed at women. I am soon going to be marrying my fiance, I am very excited and am can’t wait for the day. In arranging my wedding, I’ve reached every decision with my fiance, we haven’t always agreed on everything, but I’m sure we’ll get there. I’m just astounded at the amount of sexism there is both at men and women in everything relating to weddings. I could do a really simple enquiry about something quite basic like asking the cost of paper for invites, and people ask me things like, “what does the bride think?”, thereby completely disregarding anything I say until she gives the OK. This has happened with several vendors who sells wedding services that I contacted for quotes. Don’t even get me started on the amount of rubbish surrounding the Stag and Hen night. To me, the assumption that I’m getting married just to have a stag do with a stripper is wild! Not only the pressures to drink, the pressures to ‘perform’ on the wedding, the list is endless. I really do wish I could do away with a lot of this crap, and I hope we get to move past some of this ruddy silly behaviour.
I was a bridesmaid at a wedding for two of my good friends. It had been a great day and I had been dancing with friends. I needed a break so i walked over and got something to drink. On the way back a man i have never met lifted the bottom of my dress up. I was shocked and scared and before i knew it I had slapped him. Other men were around him and saw what he did. They did nothing. After that I went to my friend, the groom, to tell him what happened. I thought he would know the guy and could have someone talk to the man. Instead what I got was “just stay away from him”. That was literally what i was told. It’s seared in my brain. My friend, who I have known for years, trusted beyond many, who asked me to be part of his wedding told me this. I’m sure he has forgotten it, but it still hurts me to such a point i don’t talk to him often anymore. Nothing ever happened to the man that attacked me, no one so much as took him out of the area. Who knows who else he did it to. I was too hurt or shocked to do much after that. Sadly that wedding is no longer a happy memory. Yes I did slap him, but in the end I would bet anything that man did this before and did it again. I’m ashamed that all i did was slap him. I just hope it stops hurting one day.