Second week into new job: Me: “Can you show me how the database retrieve the values from your system?” (male) Colleague pointing at his monitor: “This is called a magic computer, you have to treat it nicely to get what you want.” wtf? It wasn’t a joke, the tone of his voice was creepy condescending and I was the only woman in the room/ department.
I was groped at a work event. Asked for an apology, when he was sober. He involved his Wife as a ”character witness” to prove he could never do such a thing. He says I made it up.
When I was 13, a young man (about 20 years old) regularly followed me in his car as I was walking home from school. My step dad told me I should be flattered, and the best way to solve it was to start going out with him. I did well at school, but wasn’t allowed to go to uni as step dad felt it was more important for me to learn to help my mother. I did get a job after a-levels, and my employers paid for my training. I eventually became a qualified accountant. I was a bit stressed leading up to my final exams (who wouldn’t be?). Dad’s solution: stop studying, don’t take the exams, after all, I was engaged to be married. I’m now a chief finance officer, still married, and a proud mum. And the sexist parent still asks me how much more a man would get paid to do my job. (I work in the public sector, so jobs are evaluated, not the gender of the employee. ) Don’t let old fashioned attitudes hold you back.
Nearly died at home and abroad from violence, phone messed about by men & women. Women can be just as if not more sexist/misogynistic. Recently have been harassed at home, text etc. if go out hugged, grabbed etc. Past sexual abuse & violence here and abroad. Have to be strong in this life. Workplace lots of mobbing, bullying. Police, social services, unis, NHS, you name it. Hate crimes, disability, misogyny, religion, racism. Brexit and Trump obj inflamed the situation.
I’ve just come across this via a Facebook link and I’m so pleased to see a place where women can write down their experiences of sexism and misogyny – I’ve experienced both over the years and it’s cathartic in a way to be able to anonymously talk about incidents (my husband either doesn’t want to hear or thinks I’m overreacting). From prolonged sexual assault aged 11 years by an older brother; boys on bikes grabbing my breasts as I was walking up the road with 2 bags of groceries, men who think it’s ok to grab you through the legs from behind, policemen thinking it’s ok to say a ‘strip search might be in order lads’ or being told by a senior police officer at a social event that ‘you have great boobs’, male colleagues being physically and sexually intimidating – being pulled into empty rooms, held against the wall demanding a kiss, a 6ft 4inch man (and almost as wide) standing in the doorway of my office so that I couldn’t get out, visiting a so-called male friend and being physically restrained and told ‘you know you want it’, being stalked by a bus driver, being verbally and physically threatened by a man who shouted I had taken his parking space on a busy road in the city – he was going to pull me out of the car and kick the car in if I didn’t move; I did move and reported him to the police who traced him through his registration number and, guess what, according to him, I was the one at fault! As I’ve got older I come across it less as I won’t put up with any s*** and I can now spot the type a mile off, also, being older has its advantages – generally you’re off the radar! My aim for my granddaughters is that they learn to be assertive from an early age (which they are) don’t put up with any ‘bloke’ talk that makes them feel uncomfortable even though it makes them appear ‘humourless’ and to tackle intimidating behaviour head-on.
I complained to the police about a male who was stalking me and the response I got was he has a right to drive around in a place at the same time as you. He had just been released from jail and was on bail for robbing a bank. I gave all the peoples names that he sexually assaulted to the police and not one of them or another person said they believe me. The sexual assault centre discharged me numerous times on the basis that I was apparently doing well. I have reason to believed that I am being stalked at least on occasion and it has been more than ten years since the first incident.
Whilst out with a friend, I had my drink spiked. When I called work the next day after leaving the hospital to explain why I couldn’t come in, my boss, a woman, told me it was my fault for being out in that particular part of London (Vauxhall).
A male pupil telling me with convinction and sincerity that girls liking pink and choosing to be cleaners(example job) is caused by genetics and has nothing to do with societal expectations. Even though we had just been through a whole lesson about the opposite.
I was a waitress for a late shift. I was training a waitress and the only other staff on site was the cook. There was an older customer there who had repeatedly crossed the line, but because it was a job and I needed to make money, I just laughed it off. But this night, he pulled me onto his lap by my breast and then asked me very loudly how I masturbated. He continued on with this, working to get the entire restaurant involved. I would walk to tables with couples and the man would then ask me how I masturbated and the woman would ignore it or tell him to knock it off. No one stood up for me – the cook even got involved. The next day, I told the managers what happened. I was thankful that they stayed that night until the man came in. I shook when I poured his coffee. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him and my voice shook too. He looked upset and said, “I only thought we were having fun.”
I work as a cashier, and an older customer was persistent in “going for coffee, ” that he finagled his way into my phone with his number. He tried to tell me it would be our little secret. I promptly told the store manager, to which I didn’t feel I got much support from her. I never saw the customer again, as I deleted his number off my phone. Another incident with a different customer–I’m working the register when he walks by. As he is going by he grabs me. I yelled at him to stop. When he came to pay, I told him it was inappropriate to do what he did. He did apologize, but I took it with a grain of salt.