I was morbidly obese and in constant abdominal pain. I was seeing a GP on average twice a week, trying to get help for about 3 months. All doctors would tell me to lose weight. I had scans on my gall bladder and it was fine so I went to hospital. The hospital drugged me up to the point of insensibility and removed my healthy gall bladder. I’m still in pain 4 years later and lost over 40kg without trying. I’ve been trying STILL for the last 4 years to get a Dr to listen to me, but because I’m in a “normal weight range” now, they won’t take me seriously and send me to a specialist. 4 years of needless pain, 4 years of inconsistent work and financial ruin as a result of medical negligence with no legal recourse. I can’t afford to pay for my medical record. Or specialists.

I saw a GP last week to get a referral to a psychiatrist, to assist with my meds. The GP asked about my physical health which I told him was poor. I have PCOS and told him, I showed him my BEARD and told him I was infertile. He asked me who diagnosed and I told him the professor of gynaecology at my local hospital. He told me I needed to have another pelvic ultrasound and another blood test to confirm, despite ALL MY SYMPTOMS of PCOS, despite my most recent scan showing active PCOS 3 months ago. He told me I needed medication. I told him I tried the medication years ago and it made me very sick for many months. He pressed the medication issue and gave me referrals for ultrasound, blood test and a prescription for medications I concisely told him would make me gravely ill. I’ve had a pelvic ultrasound about 12 times in my life, and for a sexual assault survivor, being probed vaginally by a stranger is a HUGE anxiety trigger for me, and completely unnecessary to put me through it if I’m already diagnosed.

My psychiatrist, in the same week, told me that there’s no difference between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and refused to accept that I had no need for birth control on my medications as I’m infertile. He told me I wasn’t, despite my not falling pregnant in over a decade of trying to fall pregnant, despite my medical history of several diseases that render me infertile and despite my telling him in no uncertain terms that I’ve tried ALL pills, all methods and all of them were insufferable and unnecessary. After exhausting myself arguing and justifying my well-informed and well-researched choices for half an hour, I started to cry. And immediately lost all credibility. I used to work in the medical field.

I hate being a woman so much.